Anyone else only 'allowed' 2 babies!

[babyblog]

Hi all, thought i'd post in here as i'm not sure what section i belong in!

My little boy Ollie is 12 weeks old, and i'm feeling really broody again. I was packing up his little clothes today and the sight of his little vests (which were even too big for him) made me choke up. Ollie stayed at my parents house for the first time last night so probably wasn't the best of things to do when he wasn't here as i'm missing him like crazy! However, it's not just today that i've felt broody. I miss being pregnant, i miss my bump and i miss his newborn days. I had a c section when i had him, and feel the first few weeks passed in such a blur that i kinda missed out on stuff. I was so nervous as a first time mum that the weeks were filled with worry, rather than enjoyment. I feel that with my second, i'll know what i'm doing and will enjoy it more.

My dilemma is this though-my OH is adamant that he only wants 2 children. He has his reasons such as house size and money, and i respect his decision. However, i would really love 3-4 children in total, though i must say i agree with him on things like children having their own bedrooms and being able to have foreign holidays. So i reluctantly agree that unless we can afford a 4 bed house (which we can't), we will only have 2 children.
So when do i have number 2? We are not TTC, but we don't use contraception so not preventing either. I would LOVE to fall pregnant, but that would be my 2 babies done and dusted!

What then?! If i feel broody again, then tough i can't have anymore!

But i figure that i'll always want more, so i may as well try for bubs now and then accept i'll have no more.

I just feel i'll be so sad when my baby making days are done, how will i deal with my broodiness for the rest of my life?

Sorry for the mega post! But anyone else feel like this

 

[cupcake]

at the end of the day its yours and hubby's decision but a lot of ppl grow up sharing a room with their brother or sister and you can go on less foreign holidays , nothing can replace having kids. maybe you can talk to him about it again if you really want more than two.
as for having number two, maybe give your body a few more months, also think what it will be like with two very small kids, that is actually a lot more financially taxing, two in diapers, two means double stroller, two high chairs etc..
just my opinion, wishing you lots of luck if you do ttc now.

 

[babyblog]

Thanks Cupcake. My sensible head says wait for a couple of years and enjoy Ollie, my non sensible head says BABY BABY BABY! But yes i agree 2 young ones would be very hard work!

 

[reversal]

I was in the same situation as you, we said we could only have two children (for the same reasons) which I have (ryan 8 rhys 6), now both myself and my dh want another baby so he's going for his vasectomy reversal are first appointment is wednesday

 

[babyblog]

Ha ha, i'm guessing that's why your bnb name is as it is!

I think that's quite a nice way fo doing things actually, to have two closish together and then a third a few years later.
Good luck, hope it all works out ok

 

[babyblog]

Are you hoping for a girl this time reversal, or another boy?

 

[mlyn26]

Oh god, how do you decide? There are so many pluses but yet still drawbacks to having two close together, partic if you only have 2. I also think tho that men do change their minds when the time comes. I think men can get broody too and think, oh lets go for one more. Plus in a few years time, who knows you may have a bigger house or realise you aren't that fussed about foreign hols regardless of number of babies!! France and UK do some fab ones, i've resigned myself to those now!! x

 

[Damita]

My husband is like that saying we are only having two but we will see

 

[reversal]

Are you hoping for a girl this time reversal, or another boy?

I would like another boy but dont really mind, I had my last son at 28 weeks so just an easy pregnancy would do

 

[Frankie]

Yup my fella only wants 2 I would go on but if I have another section I know I wouldnt risk a 3rd, Anyways im trying from this Dec LO will be almost 2 (3 when Mat leave it finished).

 

[babyblog]

Are you hoping for a girl this time reversal, or another boy?

I would like another boy but dont really mind, I had my last son at 28 weeks so just an easy pregnancy would do

Oh wow that is early, yes a healthy bubs is all that really matters

 

[polo_princess]

Only 2 for me too BOO

I'd like 3 but OH only wants 2, so i think its only fair that we have 2, i'd rather do without the extra 1 that i want than make OH have a child he doesnt want iykwim?

 

[babyblog]

Oh yes def polo, he has his reasons and i do sensibly agree anyway!

 

[polo_princess]

Ok i lied, id have about 10 if i could but 3 is a nice "round" number

 

[chocolate]

This has got to be one of the trickiest things in a relationship when one wants 2 and the other wants more.
Im adamant Id like 3, but could easily go for 4, but no more than 4. Personally I think 3 would be ideal, but Id like a girl at some point so 4 it may be!

Id say its quite normal to feel broody already as the babies change so quickly, but I would say that I personally would wait a bit longer, enjoy your baby to yourself for a while, if you have another then you will spend less time with your first lo as you will be multi-tasking.
We were due to have our 2nd just after ds's 2nd birthday but sadly miscarried, but thinking about it now, at least I will have more time with ds, and then another baby as ds is getting older, so will fill that hole! I intend to spread the children out so I have at least one at home for as long as possible lol

 

[babyblog]

Thanks Chocolate, sorry to hear of your loss. What you say does make sense, and i don't want to miss out on lo's first months by ttc another. Should be happy with what iv've got already-plus i had a c section so think i should be waiting a bit longer anyway!

 

[calm]

I find it hard to see beyond having one as we are yet childless. I suppose two would be nice, and 3 sounds like more than I could chew! Then again, I think there isn't an objective opinion in my case, better see how I feel after number one.

I can understand what you say and what your OH says. I mean, personally I wouldn't mind about holidays and bedrooms, more if we were struggling, I would find that very stressful.

As for having one right away or not, that's so difficult, I am sure each situation has its pluses, I am sure that whatever you decide will seem the best choice you could have made. Take care X

 

[silverbell]

Got nothing to add, but just wanted to say that my younger brother and sister shared a room with me until I was 10 and then we moved house to a 3-bed house and I shared with my sister while my brother had his own room. A couple of years later my youngest brother arrived (unexpectedly) and so myself and my sister shared a room and the 2 boys had the other room in bunk beds (when littlest was older, of course).

It really wasn't that bad and taught us to share and respect each other.

Anyway, thought I'd add my 2 cents worth, though if your OH is adamant about 2 kids then it shouldn't matter anyway!

I hope you can come to an agreement and that you're feeling less broody soon.

 

[sleepinbeauty]

OH says he wants one, I want more than that! We decided that we'd have one and take it from there. (Both of us are waiting for the other to crack though!) I mean, if I really only DO have one, I'll be thankful for what I've got, sure....but I'd like more than that! I totally get where OP is coming from.

 

[Eternal]

Its hard isnt it ... I would love a massive family, we havent decided on how many we want so far and just taking it one at a time, we are planning on TTC in May for our second.

we discussed the more we have the less likely we can go to Florida etc, we alreday have a 4 bed house but actually want them to share :S crazy maybe.

Hubby was one of 4 so never has gone abroad (apart from france) and I was an only child, but both my parents owned business so i only went aboard twice as a child and once with them as an adult. neither of us felt we missed out.

we all still went on holidays, cottages, hotels etc.

I want my children to go abroad but figure it will just be over 5 years or so and cheaper holidays at home.

its a very individual thing though, its what works best for you. good luck x