Anyone else pregnant with there last baby and really sad about it?

[Louise88]

I've been completely fine knowing that this will more then likely be my last baby but now I'm feeling really sad about it I always imagined myself with 3 babies so it just feels wrong stopping at 2 but I think oh is thinking on getting a vasectomy (sp) if this babies a boy as the family will be compete in his eyes but I can't help that il live my life feeling the empty space of a 3rd child that I feel should be here and won't feel my family is complete without a 3rd child

 

[babydevil1989]

were pretty sure this is our last baby - but OH isnt going for a vasectomy so its not final!

can you not find a reliable contraception in case you change your minds? x

 

[alicecooper]

aww I'm sorry you're feeling so sad about it. Like babydevil said, maybe a less permanent solution would be better in case you both decide to have a third.

I'm definitely on my last. DH had the snip in January. Honestly I'm not sad about it at all, we never wanted more than 3, so this one was a shock.

I think you just know when you're done and when you aren't really.

 

[babyhopes2010]

yeh we have that to. 1st was a girl and this is a boy so its definitely it.

im happy but sad about it at the same time.


dh wants a vsec but im going on injection pill instead just incase we changed our minds

 

[GrowingMum]

Yes. I want 3 but dh only wants 2 and is talking about a v after this one is born, girl or boy. It makes me very sad.

 

[MrsStutler]

My hubby and I have talked about when we will have our last and just the thought is heart wrenching to me. We've had a ton of people say "oh you have a boy and a girl so you're done now right?". We know we want 3 kids for sure but after three we will have to seriously discuss the possibility of 4. If money and time were no object...I'd have six kids.

Definitely talk to your OH and voice your feelings before anything permanent happens. It sounds like you're really not quite ready yet. Maybe look into something like Paraguard or Mirena? It's a nice long-term (or short-term) birth control. I really don't like the idea of myself or DH getting "fixed" just because it seems so...final...and permanent (I know that's the point haha).

 

[babyhopes2010]

i dont like the whole-its final we cant have anymore.
i think if we just use long term contraception ill get to a stage ill be happy for him to get snip.

 

[SIEGAL]

I'm really sad about it too. I have poor ovarian reserve and although I'm 28 dr said I have the eggs of a 38 yr old! That was 8 months ago so by the time i have this baby, wean him or her, and am ready for a third i'll probably have no eggs left.
I think we are both sad as its not our choice to be a last pregnancy. In my case fertility issues in yours your husband making the decision. who knows if we would even want a third right? But it would be nice to have the option

Lets just try to enjoy the best we can

When I thought I would never fall pregnant with this one I got so sad I missed out on enjoying 4 months of DD1 life. We should try and enjoy our pregnancies even if we are sad about future ones

 

[chulie]

So tough....I have a 2 yr old dd...in a few weeks well be trying for #2. DH has been slightly traumatized by some baby/pregnancy issues with our friends. The guy whose been dying for #2 is actually scared to try now and questioning if we should risk it. We have 1 healthy child...we've beat the odds..sooo..of course he really wants another one but emotionally he's scared. So after #2 regardless of sex of the baby we are just gonna be so grateful for 2 healthy babies and be done with ttc again. I'm definitely "sad" the pregnancy phase is over but were just gonna keep focus on all the good. I'm looking forward to the raising phase...

 

[Dream.dream]

I've been completely fine knowing that this will more then likely be my last baby but now I'm feeling really sad about it I always imagined myself with 3 babies so it just feels wrong stopping at 2 but I think oh is thinking on getting a vasectomy (sp) if this babies a boy as the family will be compete in his eyes but I can't help that il live my life feeling the empty space of a 3rd child that I feel should be here and won't feel my family is complete without a 3rd child

That's why my mom had my youngest sister. Every one told her she was crazy because she had 2 girls and a boy already so they figured she had at lest one of each family was complete . But she said she knew someone else was supposed to be there .

If your felling like at 2 your family isn't complete talk to you husband .

I thought I was done at one

 

[Guppy051708]

If you are having feelings like this I would highly encourage you to rethink your DHs choice of a vasectomy. If you truly felt like your family was completed, then i would say go for it! But w reservations and desires such as yours, another form of BC may be a better option. I know some ppl like to think of vasectomys that can be reversed but w a proceedure like that you really should go into it w the mindset that it is permanent.

I totally agree w alicecooper about "knowing" when u are done. Once we had DS2, we were going to be done, but i felt much like you (mostly bc i really wanted a daughter) but still like you. and DH was like your partner. And now that im expecting a baby girl i am soooo relieved we didnt have him get the vasectomy, even though he was on the fence about a 3rd. Now that we will have 3, we KNOW we want to be done forever. I used to LOVE being pregnant and everything about it. So the fact that i am looking forward to never being pregnant ever again really speaks volume. She is totally right, you just know. DH is getting sterilized in a month and i couldn't be happier about it. Had we done it after DS2 i know i would have mixed feelings and feel uneasy about it, like you. Im confident i would have lived the rest of my life wondering "what if" and feeling regretful.

I think the fact that you posted this says a lot. It doesn't really sound like you are ready for the permanent step yet, but i dont know you or your situation so take that with a grain of salt. But i think when it comes to getting permanent sterilization (in either male or female) BOTH parties need to be on board with that 100%. If there are any reservations with either person, then wait and in the meantime go to some other form of BC-there are plenty out there, even ones that are long lasting but reversible.

 

[Louise88]

Thanks for the replies I have spoke to oh and he's said he'll hold off for now but if we don't have a 3rd by the time were 32 were not having another which is 7 years away so plenty time. But he also said he'll only try for a 3rd if I get through uni and get a good job afterwards ( I'm studying to be a social worker so good wage ) but if I end up working in a shop for minimum wage then no because we can't afford a 3rd which I suppose is fair point

 

[Guppy051708]

Awesome! Seven years is plenty Of time to establish urself. I'm so glad to hear u guys have a fair plan set in place. Good for u for following ur heart

 

[Jenafyr4]

I had a Tubal Ligation after my 4th...I THOUGHT I was done...I meet my current husband and fell deeply in love and want to give him a child. I had a Tubal Reversal in April, so we are ttc now....I would NEVER suggest ANYTHING permanent because life sometimes throws you curveballs....GL

 

[MummyHunter]

Our little girl is 8 weeks old now - she is our 3rd child (my 5th, 2 from prev oh) and he is booked for a vasectomy in 2 weeks

I am 38 and although I know and always knew this was our last baby I still feel very sad and cannot bring myself to agree with him that it is the right thing to do. For me it is too final but he is scared of an oops baby so is doing something about it.
I just need to get over it and move on

 

[gingerbaby4us]

I hear you, my husband is pushing for the snip. He feels strongly that the earth is overpopulated and that we should only be replacing ourselves. This from a guy I can't get to remember to recycle. Bullshit excuse IMO. But I love him so much I am willing to keep an open mind. I asked him to do the same. We decided to relax on the topic and just see how it goes with the new baby, and think about again in a few years. It had been driving me crazy, he would bring up a vasectomy or being done making babies almost daily. I don't think men realize how emotional a topic this is. I am pretty sure he will never go for another one. But I need to keep the hope alive.

Chulie-your friends must have had some serious issues, because by no means are you beating the odds by having a healthy child, thats the by far the rule not the exception. Talk to your OH about the true odds of another healthy child, they are heavily in your favor. I am sorry he is so traumatized.

 

[babyhopes2010]

I hear you, my husband is pushing for the snip. He feels strongly that the earth is overpopulated and that we should only be replacing ourselves. This from a guy I can't get to remember to recycle. Bullshit excuse IMO. But I love him so much I am willing to keep an open mind. I asked him to do the same. We decided to relax on the topic and just see how it goes with the new baby, and think about again in a few years. It had been driving me crazy, he would bring up a vasectomy or being done making babies almost daily. I don't think men realize how emotional a topic this is. I am pretty sure he will never go for another one. But I need to keep the hope alive.

Chulie-your friends must have had some serious issues, because by no means are you beating the odds by having a healthy child, thats the by far the rule not the exception. Talk to your OH about the true odds of another healthy child, they are heavily in your favor. I am sorry he is so traumatized.

yep this is what my DH keeps saying

 

[chulie]

I hear you, my husband is pushing for the snip. He feels strongly that the earth is overpopulated and that we should only be replacing ourselves. This from a guy I can't get to remember to recycle. Bullshit excuse IMO. But I love him so much I am willing to keep an open mind. I asked him to do the same. We decided to relax on the topic and just see how it goes with the new baby, and think about again in a few years. It had been driving me crazy, he would bring up a vasectomy or being done making babies almost daily. I don't think men realize how emotional a topic this is. I am pretty sure he will never go for another one. But I need to keep the hope alive.

Chulie-your friends must have had some serious issues, because by no means are you beating the odds by having a healthy child, thats the by far the rule not the exception. Talk to your OH about the true odds of another healthy child, they are heavily in your favor. I am sorry he is so traumatized.

Ya one is his sister who had 5 miscarriages at various stages before finally getting 1 baby, the other is our best friends who just found out their baby has omphalocele (big hole in the stomach) and will be in the hospital up to 5 months after birth and then our other friend gave birth at 22 weeks and her baby passed away....not gonna lie, even I'm slightly traumatized myself. Hahaha...I'm definitely ok with two. Sad for sure....but I would never agree to 2 if I thought I'd want more.....but I think it's ok to be sad and accepting that this is what's best for my family.

 

[Pearls18]

I don't know I feel weird, when we were WTT I felt really said about it, the leading up to TTC thinking "this is the last time...etc" but now I am pregnant, maybe it's because I haven't felt very well this time (had an easy pregnancy last time) I just feel a bit relieved that this is the last time. I'm a bit overwhelmed about this not just being my body anymore, not feeling like myself and I keep getting panicky about the birth (even though I had a good, quick one last time). I don't know if it's just the excitement of the baby and "completing our family" and perhaps hormones and general first tri rubbish-ness, but I hope I start to enjoy it more soon, because I know I will regret it if I don't. (Just to clarify thrilled about the baby, not so much about pregnancy right now!)

DH and I are fairly sure this will be our last, I know this isn't the best attitude to have but if it's a girl we'll definitely be done, if it's a boy I wouldn't be quite so certain, but either way we are only 25 so while right now 2 is plenty we have 10 more "baby years" so I wouldn't want to do anything permanent so I will just get the copper coil re-fitted and wait until we are in our 30s before discussing a vasectemy. I think you should go down a less permanent route too, the height of pregnancy isn't the best time to make these decisions, just look at all the threads of people doing reversals particularly when they made the decision straight after a baby.

 

[Anthrogirl]

What an honest discussion on this topic, ladies! Thanks! I'm on number 3 and this will be our last. We have 2 girls already and we're team yellow with this one, boy or girl. I would have had 6 if I: a) got on it after #1. But we waited 9 years and, b) had more money. I am so torn about whether I am sad or relieved. I would still like more, but I am 37 and I hate (despise) being pregnant. I am constantly reminding myself that the end result is a child that you will love for ever. It's become my mantra. However, we have decided to put off the vasectomy until some time has passed after this one is born.