Anyone else sick and tired of being positive and hopeful while everyone else pregnant

[tamithomas]

girl can totally relate. It's like the theory I heard a little while ago.. once you know you want a baby, there's no turning back, It's set in motion and it's all you think about and suddenly months seem a lot longer then they really are. It's something people who get BFP by sharing soaps with their DH will ever understand. Sadly we have to put up wit hthose who don't understand because to an extent, we can't really hold it against them for not understanding. It's like someone who goes through a serious trauma, people who haven't will not understand the impact. You must go through it yourself to really know what to do and say.

 

[PinkPeony]

Wow that adds a different dimension to things. I guess for someone like him he's learned to survive and cope in his own ways and being depressed isn't an option. I hope he's not pushing down his feelings to much though. I would keep talking about your feelings to him and hopefully you'll start to rub off on him.

 

[tamithomas]

I think the depression about IF would be nowhere near as bad if I didn't have so many friends that were barely legally 18 at the time getting BFP's accidently and pretty much had to comfort them because they were scared. Meanwhile I want a BFP so bad and it's not happening. Sometimes I wish I didn't have such a big heart to sit there and comfort them meanwhile I feel like bursting into tears and eating a whole tub of cheesecake ice cream in bed for a week straight, wish I had the cohonez to tell them "tough luck, you know how many of us would DIE to be in your shoes right now?! Consider yourself lucky. Pregnancy is the greatest gift life can offer you, embrace it your selfish cow! (they were sad because they couldn't party anymore) . Some have even since then had their second child!

 

[pola17]

I know exactly how you feel. It took me 3.5 years to finally fall pregnant with my little boy and I was so sick and tired of people telling me I was obsessing too much, I needed to focus on something else, I needed to stop thinking about it. I couldn't help it if my brain thought about it 24/7. And I also got fed up of seeing the LTTC'ers saying that they fell pregnant because they relaxed and forgot about it. I couldn't forget about it. It didn't matter. I knew when I needed to have sex to have the best chance of falling pregnant and the month I fell pregnant, I was more determined than ever!

So as much as I do think it can help to relax and try and forget and let nature take it's course, sometimes that's not possible and obsessing even more works! I hope it does for you girls xxx

awwww it makes me happy that you had a happy ending!


As for what I told you all about my DH, yesterday he confessed he was "playing dumb" when it comes to talking about those days... he says he just doesnt want to remember. It was a good talk, tho!

BTW Yesterday, I chatted with my BF from all my life.. she and I were born 2 days apart, and our parents were already friends.. we went to the same kinder garden, elementary school and highschool.. oh! And we worked together at the same company. She got married last november, and she got pregnant on her wedding night. She didnt want to have babies yet, but she was excited when she found out. Her baby is beautiful, its a girl, and has the prettiest little face. Anyways... yesterday she was telling me "Paola, you should wait, you dont know how overwhelming this is", and I told her that she knows that Ive been wanting this for a while, but then I decided to not fight with her, and I also wrote "maybe when my time finally comes, I will understand your point"...

I mean, of course having babies is a hard task, but I want this! I just dont wanna fight with her... I dont understand what she´s going through, and she doesnt understand my point of view, so I guess she´s saying this with all the best intentions... dont get her wrong, she always remarks how wonderful this is and all, but she says she´s overwhelmed by the time she hasnt slept, besides, she´s in another country alone with her husband, and she doesnt know much about babies!

 

[popchick75]

I don't know how people can just put it out of their minds and not think about it, especially when infertility has been such a big part of your life for so long. 'Just stop thinking about it and have fun' isn't an option. At all. In fact, it's the worst advice ever.

How do you stop caring and having hope? I wish I knew. I'm actually to the point where I'm ready to start praying for 'indifference' so I can have my life back. But every day I count the days on my calender multiple times (just to make sure I didn't miscount) like a crazy person so I can figure out when I'm supposed to start opks, what days to bd, how many days dpo am I... The tww is so painful that I'm starting to feel like I'm cracking up.

And the hardest part? Not saying anything. Every now and then OH will mention that he told someone that we are trying and it just makes me *so* angry! I know most people mean well, but unless you've been through something similar and can *really* understand, don't stand there with your 4 kids and tell me how you 'get it.' I assure you, you don't get it.

I know how bitter this post sounds. I guess it's time to start hiding the fact that I am bitter about it.

 

[lanet]

It's in this is a place to show our hidden bitterness. Have they diagnosed the problem??

 

[lanet]

And did you have trouble concieving the first time?

 

[popchick75]

It's in this is a place to show our hidden bitterness. Have they diagnosed the problem??

Unexplained infertility. No problems the first time.

 

[EmmyReece]

Oh, I totally get what you're all on about.

I've just been tagged in a picture of my cousin's surprise baby (by my own mother who I was on the phone to in tears last night because of the unfairness of it all!) and I'm expected to be all happy and bubbly when the stupid woman didn't even know she was pregnant so smoked, got drunk, tattooed her belly

 

[lanet]

I actually texted my husband and said it looks like the only way we will get pregnant is if I turn into white trash! Very harsh, but hey, they seems more fertile than anyone.

 

[wannabeprego]

I actually texted my husband and said it looks like the only way we will get pregnant is if I turn into white trash! Very harsh, but hey, they seems more fertile than anyone.

LOL... you know I think this all of the time...there is definatly a direct correlation between how trashy you are and how fertile you are... the trashier you are the easier it is to pop out kids left and right like it is a sporting event....

 

[tamithomas]

maybe we should all apply for welfare and take up drugs LOL who knows, maybe that's the key we're missing out on?

 

[lanet]

Sounds like a plan

 

[pola17]

Today I found out an ex boyfriend, who I loved so much, and who dumped me in the most cruel way, just had a baby with his wife...

I think, that my husband is the most incredible person to me, he is so kind, and has a big heart, yet, God is punishing us with no kids.

At moments like this, when Im starting to gain a little bit of faith, I lose it. Its a dark day for me!

 

[popchick75]

My OH has a good friend who lives out of state. There's no way to put this politely, but the guy is a 'man-whore.' He has a great job, lots of money, nice house.....he's a fun guy, but he's definitely one of those guys who is only good for going to the bar with. He goes through women like crazy.
He texted OH last night with a picture of an ultrasound. Turned out he got one of the women pregnant and is going to be a dad. She is about 6 months along with a boy.

I just walked away when he showed me the picture.

This is one of those instances when life just isn't fair.

 

[lanet]

Life isn't fair and that's why it's hard to stay faithful. I have mostly good days but every once in a while a really bad day hits. Yesterday at my salon a woman came in pregnant with her 3rd, she said 'we didn't really try for long, just 1 time, haha! Actually we didn't even try it just happened!' How ironic, it was all I could do to keep a poker face.

 

[missy123]

if I log onto Facebook and see another mobile upload of another newborn Im gonna scream
there seems to be a baby boom

 

[tamithomas]

if I log onto Facebook and see another mobile upload of another newborn Im gonna scream
there seems to be a baby boom

Seems to have been going on since the beginning of 2011 and just won't stop. When will it be our turn? Most of us on here started trying before a bunch of unwanted babies started being popped out lately..so unfair

 

[PinkPeony]

if I log onto Facebook and see another mobile upload of another newborn Im gonna scream
there seems to be a baby boom

Seems to have been going on since the beginning of 2011 and just won't stop. When will it be our turn? Most of us on here started trying before a bunch of unwanted babies started being popped out lately..so unfair

Yep one of my friends is on unwanted #2 since I started TTC. Saw her a few months after her 1st one was born and she was like "my boobs hurt I might be preg again ugh"... Find out a couple weeks later she was right.

 

[Tarotempres]

Thank you Ladies. I was beginning to think I was the only one feeling depressed and bitter. Been trying to conceive our first child for over 3 years. I can't talk to my girlfriend's about it because they are too busy running around with their children. My sister is completely insensitive. She just had a baby, although it was hard for them to conceive because her husband has a problem, and everything with her is I am so tired what I am supposed to do why can't I get any help with the baby. The other day I had enough of her complaining I was so close to telling her if your son is that much of a problem give him to me and I will raise him and you won't hear me complain about it. My husband and I went through and IVF cycle and had a chemical pregnancy and it has completely devistated me. I try hard every day to function and he doesn't get how hard it is for me to function right now. Not knowing why it didn't stay viable, knowing I am the problem and not him. Feeling so broken and defective. I try to stay positive on the other threads I am on but it is nice to know there is a place where you don't have to stay positive.

Thank you all again.