Anyone else wanting an intimate family only wedding?

[charlotteb24]

I'm starting to think I'm the only one!

We have a very small budget for our wedding, we basically want a registry office wedding as thts all we cab afford, then onto either a restaurant or the back garden or a small hall somewhere for the reception with a possible string quartet and buffet food and drinks.

I have suggested to OH that we make it family only as we don't have the money to be having a lavish do. Friends would expect a sit down meal with some sort of disco or something! Where as family will be quite happy with just a few drinks and each others company!

The only problem is, friends expect to be invited, especally if they invited you to their wedding! So I dunno what to do! I just don't want to have to invite them all, as if I invite 1 or 2, th others will get offended cos they haven't been invited! So I figured of we don't invite any pf them! Nobody will be offended!

Anyone else done this or thinking of doing it?

 

[aly888]

I thought I could sympathise for a moment, but I cant. We are only have a small ceremony (just parents, no siblings) but the reception is open to everyone.

But if you dont want a big do, then dont have a big do. You can always celebrate with your friends in other ways (invite them over your house for bbq, or go out for meal, etc etc) another day so that they can pay their way a bit and take the costs off you!!
Friends shouldnt just 'expect' to automatically get an invite (although I know they do) and they should feel honoured if they get one rather than offended if they dont

I am sure they will understand if you just explain that you want a small and intimate wedding in front of just your family members. I know it's a cliche, but it's your day and you are the ones who need to enjoy it. Are you going to be able to enjoy it if you are worrying about money etc?!

 

[tmr1234]

we are having a small wedding then buffet after no dj or any thing like getting hitched at4pm then buffet then home there is 30ppl total coming

 

[charlotteb24]

Thanks ladies!
The money isn't what's worrying me, it's just the act that I have 6 friends who have either known me since I was 4 years old! Or I have worked with and they have invited me to their weddings. My OH has not really kept in touch with any long term friends so would only invite work collegues who he only knows in a professional capacity and I don't think they need to be there wen they don't really know either of us properly outside of work!
It's just i know it will be wrong if I invite some and not all and it will be wrong in their eyes if I don't invite any of them! But like you've said, it's our day and not theirs!

If they did want to celebrate I think the meal idea is great xxxx

 

[24/7]

Exactly what we wanted and exactly what we had!!
25 close family members and us; we got married in a hotel followed by a meal, then everyone left and we enjoyed the evening just the two of us, and it was perfect. xxxx

 

[charlotteb24]

Exactly what we wanted and exactly what we had!!
25 close family members and us; we got married in a hotel followed by a meal, then everyone left and we enjoyed the evening just the two of us, and it was perfect. xxxx

That fills me with a bit more confidence!! Hehe! Cos that's what we want but it's whether or not I have the guts to say no to them! One friend already asked if she could come and I said no it was family only and she's not spoken to me since! Cos I went to her wedding

 

[24/7]

Go for it and enjoy it!!
Obviously we had to let alot of people who wanted to come down, but it was our day and therefore I wanted it just as we wanted. xxx

 

[honeybee2]

I would say- go with your gut instinct and have what you want- or.... have a small ceremony and then have an open BBQ in the evening. Buy a cheap wedding cake from M&S get a few balloons and banners and tell guests to bring a plate of food and their own alcohol- you'll be suprised how many people turn up. The way to decided is to answer this: are you having it intimate because of money or because thats what you want? If its because of money then there are cheap ways around it hun. Good luck xx

 

[Missy89]

Me and OH are getting married just me and him, two random witnesses and the registar- I didnt want a big wedding but my close family come to over a 100people and when we tried to keep number small it just didnt work! Sooo yup just the two of us and then we're having a party (DJ, Cold meat buffet, and a few weddingly things) a few months later for everybody and anybody.

So just do what ever will make you feel comfy- Its your day no one elses!

 

[charlotteb24]

We want it intimate because of money, yes in a nutshell, we don't feel we will be able to afford as much, if we have a lot of people coming to it. But on the other hand we also want it to be intimate and small if that makes any sense?
We still don't know what we will do afterwards, i fear it may be a little cold for an outdoor BBQ in may, but in this country you never know!!
Might be easier to book a small hall somewhere and have some sort of buffet and music, not sure if we really want a DJ, would prefur to hire a local string quartet or something really romantic like that lol! but it all depends on money and whats about when we seriously start looking!
If we had a hall hired and a buffet, we couldmaybe invite a few friends to that, I just worry especally with OH's work collegues, they love to drink and drink and drink and get loud and rowdy and I hate that =/ hmm...

 

[pinkmummy]

Charlotte if you want small and intimate then just have small and intimate. As Aly said people should be honoured to get an invite not offended if they don't.

I know what you mean about OH colleagues drinking ... drinking ... drinking.

A guy OH is quite friendly with from his old job is like this. We went to a wedding recpetion in May with him there and he had been drinking all day (not at the recpetion) and he had taken some drugs also (haven't a clue what) and he was absolutely off his head. He was slurring all night and OH and I were babysitters looking after him while his partner just palmed him off on everyone else! The girl who's wedding it was was mortified and had a go at him on the Monday at work.

Before all this we had already invited him and his partner to our wedding day and I am totally regretting it now! I have told OH to warn him he takes no drugs and he does not drink too much coz I am not having him ruin my wedding. I will be getting him removed from the premisis if he does

Sorry for the rant x

 

[mummy to be]

Between my hubby and i and our family and friends we struggled to get the guest list to under 150..... everyone started fighting with us over who was and wasnt coming... So we soon got the sh*ts and thought NO stuff you all this is OUR day and we dont want alot of people there.. We had a total of 23 people there... Imidiate family (parents, siblings and their partners) and our best ever friends and that was it... we stepped on ALOT of peoples toes and at the end i just didnt care... WE ARE THE ONES THAT PAID FOR IT... so we are the ones that decided who came.. it wasnt cause we didnt want them there we just couldnt afford it.... It was a great day and the people who didnt come got a full video DVD and a large selections of proffessional pictures send to them in a nice package (for them to keep) that i did up to still have them appart of the celebrations....

Hope you end up having a fabulous day and make it about you and your husband-to-be and do what ever it is that YOU TWO can afford and what YOU TWO want!!!! Please remember above all else that is YOUR DAY!!!!

Good Luck and

 

[kiki]

We were married in a registry office and then had a meal at the hotel we were originally going to have a 'big' wedding in. There were 9 adults and 3 under 16's in total. It was lovely!!
At night, we invited 15 close friends to join us for drinks. We ordered a buffet for 20 people and we had music playing from our ipod, which meant we still had our 'first dance'

We had a beautiful day, and having done the big wedding previously, I much preferred this one!! No stress and all done under £1500 ,including my dress!!

Have what you want. You can't go and have a big wedding just cos everyone else thinks they should be there. Frankly, if they are offended that you are having a small wedding and they won't be invited, then they aren't worth having as friends in the first place.
My friends were all fine about it when we changed our plans, and like I said, we had our closest ones there to share our evening.

xxx

 

[Farie]

Ours is very small
Registry in town with friends, afternoon tea at a local homestead followed by drinks and then supper at the same place
There will be 11 people (incl us) at the registry and for tea, and probably 8 for supper. Everyone is paying for their own supper, tea and drinks we are covering
It's what we want, I have a pretty dress but DF will just be in a nice shirt and tidy jeans. Its our day so as far as we are concerned it should happen as we want.

 

[charlotteb24]

thank you ladies!

We will no doubt have the Sh*t hit the fan when we tell people but stuff them lol we shall deal with that when we have to!

I'm not the sort of person who likes to upset people or be confronted about small things let alone a 3rd degree of why they havent been invited but i shall grow a back bone and deal with it, as I just want the day to be perfect for us and not how other people want it!

I've already found people are trying to muscle in on how it should be done no no.. its how we want it not what you thing! arghh! its 2 years away and i swear im going to be grey when i walk down the isle!! lol!!

Thanks ladies for your support

 

[dizzyspells]

Its your day hun and do what you want to do.If they are your friends they will understand.We are having a smallish wedding in comparison to many but for the reception its just close friends and family and even the evening do is just a few extra friends.We didnt want work friends etc as to me its about being with the people we love rather than the numbers.xx

 

[Ang3l]

I just got married on June 20th just past. I only had a very small wedding too with mostly just family attending with a couple of friends but that was it. We had our wedding at a lovely country house hotel outside and it was perfect. I think that small, intimate weddings are much better than big ones.

This was the amount of people who attended our wedding and it was perfect (sorry I can't get the picture to show up so im posting the link):

https://s844.photobucket.com/albums...langelcloud/?action=view&current=C-C-560.jpg&