Anyone else's OH completely unintrested in their IVF??

[africaqueen]

I am soooo annoyed right now!!

DH and i are awaiting a PIE invite and obviously that means we are starting IVF in the summer no doubt and im watching a programme about multiples and he just called me from work and i was telling him about the woman who had 4 babies from IVF and all he said was "so what u up to?" he completely disregard what i had just said! I said im taking to you about something important about wether to have 2 embies put back or not and he said talk about something else(i dont mention IVF that much as this is the response i get even tho he is desperate for a child and was devastated when we lost our 2 beans last yr)
Then he puts the phone down!!! WTH?!!

I am so upset he cant even pretend to be arsed about all this!! he wants the baby which is the end result but he is not intrested in what i have to go through to have one!! anyone else got a OH that is so against talking about it? is it normal? how will i cope with treatment if he never wants to know and i have my parents sick and nobody else to talk to?

Sorry for rant. I am just so fed up today with everything. x

 

[natty1985]

Hiya hun sending you a big hugg xxxx

 

[africaqueen]

Thanks Natty.
Just feeling very stressed and low this wk. Dont think it helps with dh working away all wk and im so sad about my mum being so ill etc. Il just have to pull myself together.
How are you anyway? and the boys?? xxx

 

[Nayla82]

Hi Hun

I didnt want to read and run.. At the start my husband would say 'shut up i dont want to know, we will talk about it in the clinic and it stops there, he would yell i agreed to do the sperm tests theres a damn problem stop talking about it!! and when we get home dont mention it again, your doing my head in.... ask them not me!! etc etc'

I use to cry alone as he would either bite my head off or just go quiet... even when i try to talk about it he will say 'here we go again IVF!!' i hated it when he was like this .... and just like your husband i would say so and so got 2 or 3 with IVF and he says and what?? that isnt us?? Dont get me wrong he came to all my appointments which i love him to bits for but anything else he didnt want to know.. and it was killing me as at the time we kept it all to ourselves and no one knew...

Last Month out ICSI/IVF Failed, and now hes more in gear he wants to know what went wrong? why was i on the lowest of dosage hes very hand on now.. men are very scared of the unknown i think once it gets closer he will probably start opening up.... never did i think it will be my husband asking me about follicles...

Hang in there hun he wants this as badly as you, men are not talkers like us women

 

[africaqueen]

Thank you Nayla. I know u are right cos he came home extra early from work for 1st appt and he does ask me have we got the PIE invite yet but whenever i talk about anyone else and their IVF or about multiples etc he behaves like that...
Glad im not alone on this. I love him to bits and he is longing to be a dad but its hard when im so emotionally strung and he cnt appreciate it... ah well its life i guess.
I am so sorry u got a BFN and i pray ur next cycle gives u the joy u long for xxx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Africa

Just wanted to send you my love and support. I think it can be hard for our men to talk about. I like to talk to DP about ICSI all the time and sometimes he shuts me off to. He says that he can see where its leading (me crying) and he doesn't want that. He very much believes in living life, PMA and it will happen. If it doesn't thats when we really sit down and discuss next steps. I like a back up plan, to know whats coming, and to be realistic. I think that as he won't discuss the option of failure that he may end up more deeply hurt that me? Also its hard for them to really truely understand the impact, despite the appointments and being in it together I truely believe that only we know the true feeling of that maternal need for a child. Know that you are not alone, it can just be a man thing, but really he will be thinking about it just as much as you.

Good luck hunny xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[Adanma]

big hugs. My hubby and I just argued about this! I feel like my whole life has changed with this and his hasn't at all. He doesn't talk about it. He doesn't respond when I talk about it. He just kind of sits back and waits for stuff to happen I guess. I made sure to let him know that this is very emotional for me and hard for me and all of the stuff I have to do is very scary for me. I told him I need him to talk to me and listen to me about this or I'm going to be an even crazier bitch than I am right now! lol! I think he just doesn't know what to say. He said he wants the same things I want, but he just isn't one to talk about it all the time. My personality is to google evrything and freak out and his is to kind of chill out and see what happens. I hope you guys are able to come to some common ground on it though. It's going to be really hard to do it on your own feeling unsupported. Good luck sweety.

Adanma