Anyone ever wish they hadn't told people they are TTC?

[Kellie]

I mentioned to my neighbour that me & my fiance are ttc about a month ago, the nthe next day she told me she'd just found out that she was 4 months pregnant. It totally killed me inside even though I'm over the moon for her & her boyfriend.
My other friends haven't been too bad apart from telling me what I should cut out & what I should & shouldn't do. I know they are only trying to help so I feel bad for getting mad at them

x x x x

 

[adzuki]

I told some people - who it might affect. For example, most of my running buddies and dragonboating friends - as they are all getting teams and stuff together, I thought it was important for them to know of an impending potential hiatus I told my closest friends too - as I am one that needs a lot of support and attention!!! LOL! I haven't told my family or anyone at work yet though - I think those people would either pressure us or feel nervous about needing to replace me for a year. I have one good friend who is due next month, and she is an amazing support for me - it took them 8 months, so she doesn't nag!

No one has been nagging or anything, but it has only been 3 cycles for us, and everyone knows my age (34), so I think that I am getting a longer window before they do start the questions, lol! Plus, it took my SIL two years to conceive (now 6 weeks pregnant, through IVF), so I think my husband's family learned a lot of lessons on that one!!!

Hugs and baby dust to you all!!!

A

 

[Visqueen]

I didn't tell people but got caught 1st month in Jan but had a mmc in April and since then everybody keep saying "are we pregnant yet?" which really bugs me because do they not think that I wouldn't tell them if i were

 

[miss charlie]

We arent telling anyone about TTC as we know our families wouldnt really see it as a good thing, they'd want us to wait until we got married next year and settled down a bit more etc etc...and most friends would tell us its all a bit soon in the relationship.

But TBH I think its for the best as many people here have mentioned I wouldnt want people asking loads of questions and wondering what was going on if I dont get PG quickly.

BUT on the other hand its friving me crazy after only deciding on saturday that we were going to TTC that I have no one around to talk to....hence why I am here!!

 

[Aquarius24]

When we first started TTC I was so excited I told a number of friends and family. As the months have passed (now at TTC cycle eight) I find some conversations become awkward - they are wondering if we are having problems and don't really know what to say (not many of my friends have TTC or been pg - and as with me before I started TTC - don't realise it wouldn't necessarily happen immediatly!). One friend even cautiously asked me if we are still TTC.... I then tend to get defensive and start belting out stats on how it can take up to 1 year and still be considered "normal", and the female fertile period every month is actually so short etc. (at which point my sister called me "spermzilla" for all my knowledge on TTC lol)
I kinda wish I had kept our decision to TTC to ourselves as I actually feel more pressure..... Any thoughts on this....?

Hi Lovie, I know EXACTLY how you feel, we have been ttc since Jan and like you I told a couple of close friends but got excited about it and told a few more....

In July we got engaged and are getting wed in Jan so now I have told most that we are postponing ttc till later but secretly we are still trying!

I also find myself spurting out the facts and percentages, if not for them to make myself feel normal!!

My advice to you babe is to tell them that you have decided to put it off for a while, make up some excuse, just so they aren't asking all the time....its hard not to tell everyone though isnt it, you get so excited about it, but you dont realise it could take a while...

Try not to worry about it not happening yet, it is normal for it to take up to 18 months, postive thinking.....it WILL happen!!!

xxxx

 

[Aquarius24]

oh forgot to leave lots of

 

[Peanut78]

When we first started TTC I was so excited I told a number of friends and family. As the months have passed (now at TTC cycle eight) I find some conversations become awkward - they are wondering if we are having problems and don't really know what to say (not many of my friends have TTC or been pg - and as with me before I started TTC - don't realise it wouldn't necessarily happen immediatly!). One friend even cautiously asked me if we are still TTC.... I then tend to get defensive and start belting out stats on how it can take up to 1 year and still be considered "normal", and the female fertile period every month is actually so short etc. (at which point my sister called me "spermzilla" for all my knowledge on TTC lol)
I kinda wish I had kept our decision to TTC to ourselves as I actually feel more pressure..... Any thoughts on this....?

Hi Lovie, I know EXACTLY how you feel, we have been ttc since Jan and like you I told a couple of close friends but got excited about it and told a few more....

In July we got engaged and are getting wed in Jan so now I have told most that we are postponing ttc till later but secretly we are still trying!

I also find myself spurting out the facts and percentages, if not for them to make myself feel normal!!

My advice to you babe is to tell them that you have decided to put it off for a while, make up some excuse, just so they aren't asking all the time....its hard not to tell everyone though isnt it, you get so excited about it, but you dont realise it could take a while...

Try not to worry about it not happening yet, it is normal for it to take up to 18 months, postive thinking.....it WILL happen!!!

xxxx

Awww, thanks for your post Aquarius

We are actually getting married next August as well - so I think you are right - I will tell pple we have put off TTC till after wedding. We both travel so much at the moment as well that it's proving difficult to be in the same place when we need to be.

 

[Reedy]

I've only told one good friend & thats only bcus she is also ttc so its nice to go through it together x we're hoping to get pregnant at the same time too x
Its hard not telling my sister & mum as we're really close but I wouldnt want people asking all the time if we're pregnant yet plus when we do get pregnant (this month *PMA*) it will be a nice suprise for people as they wont expect it x although I think my mum & sister probably no anyway

 

[Nathyrra]

oh goodness yes! was so excited at the start, had absolutely no clue. Now we have family members coming up to us all the time saying 'oh you know so and so is gonna try for a baby soon too, you should get a move on'

Husband's brother and his girlfriend of a couple months have also decided they are just gonna magically get pregnant in January (if only it were that easy for some) Everything feels like a blooming race now. One that I will probably lose. >.< I agree with other posters, that comments from people just make you feel like you are failing. Especially since my cycles havent normalised at all yet, I don't feel any closer than when I started.

 

[Peanut78]

oh goodness yes! was so excited at the start, had absolutely no clue. Now we have family members coming up to us all the time saying 'oh you know so and so is gonna try for a baby soon too, you should get a move on'

Husband's brother and his girlfriend of a couple months have also decided they are just gonna magically get pregnant in January (if only it were that easy for some) Everything feels like a blooming race now. One that I will probably lose. >.< I agree with other posters, that comments from people just make you feel like you are failing. Especially since my cycles havent normalised at all yet, I don't feel any closer than when I started.

I know what you mean by it beginning to feel like a race. OH sister also said she was going to TTC in October cause it suited them in terms of when the baby would be born. First of all I was thinking: - you never know when you will actually conceive - not that straight fwd (she doesn't know we have been ttc). But secondly I couldn't help thinking she probably will get pg straight away and I will still be stuck, with no indication of anything. It's hard - I am happy for those I care about and love to receive such wonderful news (if and when they do), but I feel the pressure ten-fold.....
Good luck sweetie!!!!
To us all!

 

[Nathyrra]

oh goodness yes! was so excited at the start, had absolutely no clue. Now we have family members coming up to us all the time saying 'oh you know so and so is gonna try for a baby soon too, you should get a move on'

Husband's brother and his girlfriend of a couple months have also decided they are just gonna magically get pregnant in January (if only it were that easy for some) Everything feels like a blooming race now. One that I will probably lose. >.< I agree with other posters, that comments from people just make you feel like you are failing. Especially since my cycles havent normalised at all yet, I don't feel any closer than when I started.

I know what you mean by it beginning to feel like a race. OH sister also said she was going to TTC in October cause it suited them in terms of when the baby would be born. First of all I was thinking: - you never know when you will actually conceive - not that straight fwd (she doesn't know we have been ttc). But secondly I couldn't help thinking she probably will get pg straight away and I will still be stuck, with no indication of anything. It's hard - I am happy for those I care about and love to receive such wonderful news (if and when they do), but I feel the pressure ten-fold.....
Good luck sweetie!!!!
To us all!

Good luck to you also! ^^ we will get there =) It's rather comforting not to feel alone in how we feel, it's such a pressure! That's why this place is great, and we don't feel so much like we're going out of our minds! to everyone!

 

[littlestar]

My Mum knows (see journal if you wanna know why) and three good friends one of which lives miles away so we talk on the phone every few weeks, and two really good close, older friends who i meet in the pub one sunday a month. they've both had their kids (oldest are my age, youngest are teens) my friends are both in their 40's and are really supportive! so i get loads of cool info from them (births) and i have shared some really cool stuff with them (fertility window etc)

our next pub lunch is this coming sunday - can't wait
no regrets with those we do discuss TTC with. I think the in-laws assume we're trying as they found out about my scan but i don't openly discuss it with them.

 

[joeyjo]

Its really interesting to learn whether people have shared the TTC news or not. We have shared with a few of our friends, especially 1 couple who are also TTC, mainly because they are sort of like family and asked out right. A few of my girl friends know too but beyond that we are trying to keep it quiet. I don't want to tell our parents as that will increase the pressure about 10 fold!

At the same time we are avoiding making decisions about joining family holidays skiing and sailing - just saying we'll decide nearer the time. I'm sure somebody will twig soon!

Anyway Good Luck to everybody!


Jo

 

[who's_mummy]

I've told a few close friends, mainly due to circumstances, one because she visited one day when I was feeling unwell and had managed to convince myself I was pregnant and two others because one of them is pregnant and I'd told her a few months ago that she could have some of our baby stuff and she'd started chasing me up about it through another friend so I confessed to them both!

We're not telling our parents because they'll disapprove, in fact when we were deciding whether to TTC or not we very nearly decided not to because of the reactions of our parents, then we decided that actually we are 31 and 32 years old with a family already and actually who's business is it anyway?!!

I find it difficult because people are always asking me if I'd like anymore and I don't want to tell them but also find it difficult to lie about it.

Here's hoping we get our s soon so we can avoid all of those awkward questions!

Gemma x

 

[browneyedshorty81]

i only told my mom, no one else

 

[ltrip84]

I know this is an old post, but I thought I would try to revive it. LOL. I made a huge mistake of telling people we were TTC. Now, I wish I wouldn't have told anyone. People keep asking me about it and now I'm going to a specialist since we have been ttc for a year and half now (I have pcos and wasn't ovulating normally.) Although it is nice to have people to vent to sometimes, I wish I would have just contained my venting to forums!

 

[pink_kitty]

Last year I told one of my friends because she asked me to be in her wedding and I wanted to give her the heads up that we're ttc in case she didn't want a preggers bridesmaid (lol!!). I regret telling her now. The rest of the wedding party knows (and I hadn't met them before agreeing to be in the wedding) and the even the clerk at the dress shop knows too, which led into a long discussion of her ttc journey while I'm standing in a hideous bridesmaid dress they made me try on. Way too much tmi from this lady!!! Awkward!!! I'm dreading going back for the dress fitting now because I'm sure it will be brought up again. And honestly, I'm starting to wonder if I jinxed myself by telling my friend. And I was really hurt when she told the other girls in the wedding party that I'm ttc and "we have to keep that in mind when we pick out dresses". I was so embarassed!! I'm a very private person. I hadn't told her it was a secret and "shhh", but it didn't occur to me she'd tell everyone. I thought she'd understand it was something personal I had shared with her (even my grandmother doesn't know!!). I haven't talked to her about it and I don't think I'm going to - it will just likely cause a problem and more drama that I don't need right now. I just want to get through the wedding at this point.

Sorry - I just had to vent. I hadn't told anyone about this and obviously it still upsets me. Thanks for putting up with the vent.

 

[Newlywed_1215]

I've been very careful about who I tell. Just a few close friends and that's it. My family and my hubby's family don't know we're trying. I don't need any more pressure than I already feel. It's so hard not to tell though. It's just a very exciting part of our lives.

 

[Dogtanian]

I have postitive and negative stories about announcing we are TTC #2.My family which only consists of my dad and brother are so happy and cant wait for another addition to our family.MIL said she doesnt think its a good idea cos she worries about money and my health.I told her that we have it all under control so she needn't worry,but she just screwed her face up and could not say one positive thing.Since then both her and SIL have not mentioned a thing.I am very close to both MIL and SIL so this is very hurtful to me.OH is just shrugging it off and says she will be fine once i am pregnant.I dont know what to think about it all,god knows what she really thinks.
Its taken the shine off it for me,but i wanted to tell our families cos i didint want to keep secrets