Anyone get a BFP after a failed IVF???

Discussion in 'Assisted Conception' started by Emmi, Oct 4, 2013.

  1. Emmi

    Emmi Well-Known Member

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    We have just learnt that our first IVF has failed so we're currently in that big black hole of grief, dissapointment and despair.....I never knew I could cry so much.......

    I know I need time to let the dust settle and see whether we can ever do IVF again as we are self funding.......

    But is there anyone out there who conceived naturally after IVF?? Did it kick start something or was it just because you actually did start relaxing as the stress was too much before?? I have heard stories of this happening and this gives me hope.

    Any books that anyone can recomend??


    I am 42 so not a spring chicken but do believe that my time will come as there are no issues with mine and hubby's fertility.


    Many thanks.
    :flower:
     
  2. bettybee1

    bettybee1 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry about your cycle emmi I can feel your despair !!!

    I know that when your 35+ that FETS can be v successful can they can prepare the lining better ?:/ xxx
     
  3. Emmi

    Emmi Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunately - we didn't have any to freeze.....All so hard but I just refuse to give up hope.

    xxx
     
  4. Pinkie3

    Pinkie3 Well-Known Member

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    Emmi, I am loving your positive attitude and dont you give up.

    I know you have already spent a fortune on this cycle but i do recommend fertility acupuncture, obviously i dont know if this has worked for me yet but i have heard so many great stories from both TTC naturally and IVF, i also find it really relaxing and calming it puts my mind in a better place. I wish i found this when we first started trying.

    Lots of love and big hugs :hugs:
     
  5. Emmi

    Emmi Well-Known Member

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    Hello Lovely Pinkie:flower::hugs:

    I won't give up - I just find it so unfair and cruel but I won't give up.

    Yes - I will look into fertility acupuncture - I think I need to be doing something. I am going keep off the booze - I stopped in July when we started at the clinic and I just feel it's a good thing to be doing for conception - so time will tell

    I hope that you are okay - fingers crossed that it's going to be your time very soon. xxxxx
     
  6. bettybee1

    bettybee1 Well-Known Member

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    Emmi - sorry I should of explained more it's good too do the cycle as soon as there fertilized freeze then come back for fet ?

    What was your lining ? At ec? X
     
  7. Blythe

    Blythe Well-Known Member

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    Emmi - i wanted to say how sorry i am and give your a virtual :hugs:

    i have been watching out to see the results of your ivf. i have been trying for nearly 3 years and apart from a chemical early on it has not happened and so i have been thinking about IVF more and more. Like you we would be self funding but we are not rich and so it would involve a great deal of financial stress for us. Recently the heartbreak of it all has got too much so i am taking a step back from the madness of charting, temping, opking etc and starting to exercise and have a few drinks here and there. [when i say exercising - i mean jumping up and down for 5 mins on a crap mini trampoline every other day!]

    i just wanted to say that i have been on these boards for a long long time now and i do see successful natural pregnancies following failed IVFs....i have a special interest in the over 40s [for obvious reasons] and i see them too. I hope very much to see your story added to these soon :flower:
     
  8. cooch

    cooch Mummy to one gorgeous boy

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    A friend of mine got her bfp on her fourth go. Tested today xx
     
  9. bettybee1

    bettybee1 Well-Known Member

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    Did she do anything different cooch ? X
     
  10. cooch

    cooch Mummy to one gorgeous boy

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    Yes they used EEVA early embryo viability assessment, not a lot of places have it. and she had the endo scratch. I knew when she had the two on board, they classed them as high predictors, which would mean they'd make it, just would reply on implantation . She had the scratch to help that. Xx
     
  11. Emmi

    Emmi Well-Known Member

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    Betty - oh I see what you mean. Can't remember my lining but as far as I know - all was good - I had 16 follicles with 14 mature eggs..... Nothing really wrong with me at all - just my age. Hubbys sperm was really slow but after a life style change - it's improved 40%. No side effects from anything just a whole lot of heartache at the end......

    Thank you Blythe.....I can understand the stress that you have put yourself under and a step back is needed sometimes. Much as everyone says to me to get on with life, forget about it and it will happen - how do you just forget about it:dohh::shrug: That impossible when you are 40+......

    It is a huge commitment with the financials and friends and family have said that they will pay - but we couldn't pay them back for a long time and if it doesn't work - then what??? But I just feel as IVF is a numbers game - it really can work first time but maybe we need a second bash.

    Ha - love the crap mini trampoline - it's exercise none the less


    I hope that we get what we deserve one day soon

    xxx

    Thank you Cooch - it sound like they had some specific technology but glad it worked for them.

    x
     
  12. cooch

    cooch Mummy to one gorgeous boy

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    No problem. We have one more NHs go then well go private, however we've worked that out to cost £7k, urgh. Please please, let us get baby before then. Been in such a bad mood today hope everyone else is doing well xx
     
  13. Pinkie3

    Pinkie3 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you Emmi love, i am feeling ok i am off work so keeping busy and i get to test next Sunday, i'll let you know how it goes.

    You go treat yourself to a nice medium/rare steak and a bottle of red wine, you deserve it and then get back on the wagon. It's not over for you two yet - big hugs :hugs:
     
  14. Emmi

    Emmi Well-Known Member

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    Yep - it's expensive when you are not funded - this lot just cost as about £8,000 including embryoscope etc.

    I hope that you get your baba before then - it's a huge financial commitment but at our age - we had no choice.

    All a bit cruel really.

    x
     
  15. Emmi

    Emmi Well-Known Member

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    Yes - you need to keep busy for the week ahead - then you won't focus too much as that 2ww is a proper killer.

    Ooooo yes - some nice food and wine - hubby is taking me out somewhere as a surprise tomorrow which will be lovely.

    I am feeling better today - my brother says that he would pay if we wanted to try again which is actually a miracle as he has cobwebs in his wallet!!! But with the hope of trying naturally with hubby's new supersonic sperm :winkwink:and maybe IVF in the new year - I just feel like I have a plan - I can't just sit back and do nothing.

    I hope that you are having a good weekend - something so lovely about Friday night. xxxx
     
  16. cooch

    cooch Mummy to one gorgeous boy

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    First week of ww is easy it's the second week when all hormones kick in and twinges etc. xx
     
  17. Blythe

    Blythe Well-Known Member

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    Emmi - it sounds like you had a great response to the meds with all those eggs and that perhaps another round will do the trick. Will they be giving you feedback on the cycle? how was your lining? why no frosties?

    It is wonderful that family members are willing to help...i would be doing natural ivfs back to back but we simply cannot afford it. its all such a gamble. i have recently been looking at doing IVF abroad but it just the logistics of it that put me off!

    But, you do need a plan B and plan C when doing this stuff and i think having another IVF cycle in the back of your mind for the new year will do it. in the meantime you can focus on doing everything you can to ensure you are in tip top shape.

    i did acupuncture and herbs for many months and it made no difference to my life/health in any way and i have now spent in excess of 2K on it [but of course many women have had wonderful results with it]. Other than balancing hormones, its really all about ensuring you have good blood flow particularly to your uterus....there are cheaper ways of doing that...caster oil packs, baby aspirin, massage, yoga, breathing exercises, hot water bottle...theres other but cannot think of them now.

    there is nothing more irritating that someone saying just relax, stop obsessing about it etc etc...i have heard it all. im taking a step back but only for a short while...im 42 in May so know exactly how you feel.

    i read something recently and keep repeating it to myself...."keep going and you will get there".

    xx
     
  18. Emmi

    Emmi Well-Known Member

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    I love that you understand Blythe:hugs:

    I have been looking at fertility acupuncture but at £45 for 45 mins - that just seems like extortion.....My hubby said that we would find the money but I just can't justify it. But I have heard good things about Royal Jelly so have raided Holland and Barrett for bits and pieces.
    Thanks - will look at blood flow to the uterus, I need to use a poor mans method:wacko:

    I have a review on the 25th October so we'll see what they say. My lining and reaction to the drugs were good - my follies were a good size etc. 6 eggs fertilised but none were good enough for freezing so we put 2 back in.

    I lost about a stone over the IVF - I needed to lose a bit so healthy eating and the awful stress somehow managed to get my weight down - def wouldn't recommend that kind of weight loss programme!!! So - now will try and lose a bit more and keep up the dog walking and swimming - am gentle exerciser - no gym or zumba for me!!!

    Interesting about Chinese herbs - at my clinic they won't treat you if are taking them - there has been a real drop in some couple results after they used them! Strange how they work for some and not for others.

    I bought a hypnotherapy dvd during IVF - never listened to eat properly as my mind would wonder off and be too active....Yoga classes would be good for me but they are extortionate too....Why is everything so stupidly expensive.:nope:

    I am so sick and tired of peoples advice now - usually from those that have children......I am not going to stop thinking about this ever - not until I know for sure that it won't happen. I wish people would understand rather then feel they have to churn out crap advice......

    My little mantra is that good things happen to good people - I have to believe in that.

    xxxx
     
  19. Likklegemz

    Likklegemz Well-Known Member

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    Hi girls, thought I'd share my experience with you. We found out that my Fallopian tubes had haldros in them, and that it was very unlikely for me to conceive naturally, I also had the horrific experience of getting an infection during my HSG wTch layer things for us. Had IVF last year in which I responded poorly given my age and my ovaries were ok with 9 eggs, and only 4 fertilising. We got to blast, had one transferred with two frosties and ended up with a bfn. I too had that horrible period where grief just clouded me for months. Had my follow up several months later, and I was recommended to have a lap. Had my lap 5 months later, and unbelievably straight after my lap I fell pregnant naturally and am nearly 22 weeks.

    The point I'm saying is that anything is possible, o matter how slim some things feel at the moment. Hope this gives you all some hope x x x
     
  20. Emmi

    Emmi Well-Known Member

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    Oh wow - that is just wonderful!!! What lovely news for you after everything that you have been through - just fabulous. I love that after all of that it happened naturally:happydance: So happy for you.

    I have cried so much that I think that there are no more tears but then suddenly I will weep again. But I have to have hope and I will not give in. I think I just need to find a way of saying politely to people to shut up when they start churning out platitudes - this is not helping me at the moment:nope:

    But at the moment - there are possibilities that I need to explore so we'll see what happens. I have to keep the faith that I was put on this earth to be a mummy.

    xxx
     

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