Anyone having more than one birthing partner?

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by Lanyloo, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. Lanyloo

    Lanyloo Mummy to a gorgeous boy!

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    Without a doubt Hubby will be there but i would like my Mum to be there too but Hubby doesnt. Hubby is a very private person and would prefer it to be the two of us BUT he is very freaked out by the baby in the tummy thing! He has only touched my bump and felt the baby move once, yes just once, it scares him :rofl:

    He wont really talk about labour, I think he thinks its going to be easy and I'm worried he's going to be scared and not able to support me the way he will need to.

    My Mum is a Midwife and we are very close despite living 180 miles apart and I would really love her to be there. I know she would sit back and give us some time together but just knowing she is on hand to help us through it would make me feel so much better.

    I feel like Hubby is being selfsih saying no when its me going through the pain but then I don't want to push it as afterall it his first born child too!

    I'm hoping he comes around in the end!
     
  2. lesleyann

    lesleyann Mummy

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    My Oh and my gran will be my birth partners well aslong as my gran is not on her hooneymoon when bubba comes lol She takes us to late night appointments and said she would drive us there when im in labour so dont have to worry about parking our car lol
     
  3. Kimboowee

    Kimboowee Complete

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    Im having my OH and mum. My OH is really squimish so i want back up! I think aslong as your mums willing to take a backseat he should be ok about it, its only fair x
     
  4. Ema

    Ema Mummy :) xxx

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    TBH I had my OH and my Mum at jacobs birth and now regret it. I wish it was just me and OH and for the next ones we plan to do this. She was great dont get me wrong but when i actually gave birth she was so excited she announced it to me dad etc and me OH really wanted to ring me dad and tell him ( a male thing i think) XxxX
     
  5. MummyMummy

    MummyMummy Well-Known Member

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    i will probally get sooo much backlash for saying this but nevermind...

    bugger what your partner wants, its YOU who has to go through pushing a baby out, YOU who has to go through the pain, the wait, the contractions, the emotions. YOU who will need support and encouragement. YOU need to do what YOU think is best for you and your baby to both go through a really hard and difficult, sometimes scary event. and if you feel you could bennefit from some extra support (from a trained midwife no less!) then you go for it. it's more important that YOU have what YOU think you might bennefit from. you and your baby are all that matters in the delivery room.

    after you have had baby maybe your mum could quietly slip out to give you and your partner some time alonethen knock to askif it'sok to come back in to seeall 3 of you?

    maybe you could have your mum on call/waiting close by so that if you feel you need that bit more extra support then she is ready and available for you,as your partner might be all you need come the time.

    xXx
     
  6. kiki

    kiki Mum to Kirsty and Caidan

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    I have to say, I totally agree with all that you say!!!

    xxx
     
  7. Dukechick

    Dukechick Wife & proud Mom of 2

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    I'm only having my DH with me. I DID think about having my mom there, but honestly, I don't want her seeing me go through the pain. I might have some complications due to my bleeding disorder, so I don't want her there to see anything.
    PLUS.... my DH just can't wait to run into the waiting room, and tell my mom the news! :)
     
  8. princess_vix

    princess_vix Guest

    I'm having my mummy and OH there.
    personally i'd feel happier and more comfortable with them both there.
    one incase my OH can't cope or he finds it hard to watch or just say he doesn't understand..
    whereas mum has had 4 kids so i know she understands ect.

    But i'd speak to your OH about it and agree on something?
    xx
     
  9. loz

    loz Well-Known Member

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    with my daughter i did not know what to expect so i was really scared. mum had a bad birth with me so she could sympathise with what i was going through more that dd dad. she took a back seat but was there wen i needed her so it was really nice. plus my mum is not really a maternal person so it made her have a special bond with her. i know what to expect now so i dont feel like i need her there this time but i will be ringing her if i do need her. if you really want your mum there tell your oh that you are scared and need your mum there if he was in that much pain i bet he would be crying for his mum
     
  10. honey08

    honey08 mum2two boys/2mc

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    my OH will be with me (i hope!! ) i wud like my mam there but weve not spoke for 4yr and i certainley wont be wanting her there now :?
    im sure OH will step up to the mark and help me....although whenever weve seen labours on tv he'll say "omg dont u shout n scream like that" :rofl:
     
  11. Ema

    Ema Mummy :) xxx

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    :rofl: when your in labour everything goes :rofl: i was screaming at a poor passer by in the corridor to kill me :rofl: :blush: And i told OH at one point "to take his balls out so i could stand on them" :blush: Oh the joys!! XxxX
     
  12. Ravelyn

    Ravelyn Well-Known Member

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    My hubby and mom will be with me, hopefully.
    My mom has to drive 3.5 hrs to get to the hospital/house, so I have to call her when I'm in labour or on my way to the hospital. If she does not make it, my best friend will take her place.

    The reason for this, is because my hubby has a very weak stomach at the sight of someone else's blood. So I'm worried he might pass out on me and then I have nobody.
    And its nice to have someone in the room who has had children and knows what to expect... since we are both 1st timers.
     
  13. becstar

    becstar Sleep is for the weak

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    I'm having my husband, my mum and my sister! My sister used to be a midwife's assistant and is training to be a nurse now - she's so calming and wonderful at times like that. My mum - I just want her there! And husband has to be there of course. My mum and sister have been warned that husband is the 'main man' there and if necessary they need to take a step back, but he wants them there for support, too.
     
  14. LittlePickle

    LittlePickle Well-Known Member

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    my birth partners will be my OH and my mum! :laugh2: can't wait!!!
     
  15. kirsty x

    kirsty x Well-Known Member

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    my oh is comin in with me but havin my mum as bk up incase oh cnt handle it. if i do want my mum in ther wud she be able to come in when im in labour if i ask, or does this need to be arranged?
     
  16. leighbaby

    leighbaby yummy mummy

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    I'm only having my OH there. My mum would drive me insane! If OH can't deal with it, then it is the midwife and me :)
     
  17. emilyjade

    emilyjade mummy of two!

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    im having ma OH and my mamma as i feel like i need some female support :p and im very close to my mamma but aslong as they stay up the top end ov the bed i dont care lol!!!! but i can see my OH fainting or something as he dont do blood! he had a nose bleed ages ago and i found him on the floor in the bathroom lmao !!!! if he was born a girl he wouldnt have a chance :p
     
  18. snettyb

    snettyb Well-Known Member

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    I'm having my OH and my best mate there (if she can make it) if she can't make it my lil sis is coming, she is a stoodent midwife so it will be good practice for her lol. My OH isn't keen on my mate coming, they don't get on too brilliantly but apart from that he thinks its going to be some sort of magical experience and it should just be and him lol, well aint he in for a shock coz IMO there is nowt magical about pain, pushing, blood and placenta's :rofl: Also i think he is likely to pass out so i feel like i need some extra support there and at the end of the day its me going through it all so its my choice in the end.
     
  19. geogem

    geogem PREGNANT!!!

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    I had my mum there the first time round but wont be doing it again!! dont get me wrong she was wonderful but I think my OH felt a bit awkward with her being there and we have decided it is our moment. My hubby is very soppy at times (cried his eyes out at the wedding watching me walk down the isle) and I have a feeling he will cry again. We both want our little moment together with LO first and then my mum will be coming shorty after with our other children!!
     
  20. Angel2Fire

    Angel2Fire Well-Known Member

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    I'm having my mum there too and totally support your choice.

    If I were you I would just tell your OH that it's your decision as it's you going through the labour and pain. If he objects, ask him what his problems with having your mum there are, and try and work through them.

    Good luck and I hope you can have your mum there :)
     

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