anyone not bothering with their NCT group anymore?

[charlie15]

i was hoping that my NCT group would be a good life line after all the LO's were born. However i only really like one of the other mums, the others not so much, and i'm detecting a whiff of competitiveness which is somewhere i really don't want to go!

think i may not bother with them anymore, anyone else found that??

 

[missk1989]

I never stayed in touch with any of the moms. They weren't my kind of people

 

[CertainTurton]

Im afraid I found the opposite, out of 7 couples, 5 of us are all still really good friends. There will always be a little bit of comparison but never competitive really. In fact we are leaving the babies with the men this evening and going out for a nice meal - our 3rd time in 10months...cant wait!
Its entirely up to you but I may suggest just trying to keep some ties as it can be good having mum friends with babies the same age sometimes...esp through hard times like 4 mth sleep regression etc. Of course you may meet people at groups too rather than NCT
x

 

[dizz]

i was hoping that my NCT group would be a good life line after all the LO's were born. However i only really like one of the other mums, the others not so much, and i'm detecting a whiff of competitiveness which is somewhere i really don't want to go!

think i may not bother with them anymore, anyone else found that??

The other annoying residents of post-natal wards were all the confirmation I needed that sharing a date of having a baby with people was no guarantee you'd click with them (or not want to throttle them at 3am when they're ringing everyone in their phonebook to describe nappy contents)... always seemed to be a somewhat artificial way of making friends to me.

And sod hanging around with competitive parents for pleasure!

 

[babyblog]

Up to you but I would stay in touch. I still see my group 3 years on- not s much as our boys are at school and we work and are all busy but it's still nice to catch up. Yur baby is still young so if you're off work you've got lots of time to fill, and seeing my sons friendship with his little friends is lovely! Just see them when you want and on your terms. And see the one you like better more.

In a way I think you use each other when babies are young to have someone to go to groups with, where you might meet new people too. Just change the subject if it doesn't interest you

 

[Scottish mum]

My group was rubbish nobody spoke it was just 3 classes. I was hoping to meet people x

 

[patch2006uk]

I'm only in regular contact with one other couple from my NCT group. We just didn't click as a big group. It was a shame, but making one friend out of it was good enough for me! We met a couple of times after the babies were born, but it was always slightly awkward.

The postnatal group I did was a much better gelled group. We met for an evening meal just a couple of weeks ago. I think already having babies made it easier to find common ground.

If you don't want to stay in touch with your NCT group, then don't. There'll be plenty of new people you meet as you get out and about with LO

 

[CT125]

Hmm, I'd never even heard of NCT until now and we're doing alright. I've met loads of mums with babies under 15 months old at the baby groups I go to and while we all get on I don't see any of them socially outside of the groups, but then I'm not really bothered by that. I've always found that while having a common interest, ie our babies, is a good starting point to chat, the chances of you having much else in common with a group of people thrown together due to timing/circumstance is pretty low. However, lol, and this sounds bad because I'm actually really outgoing and sociable, I don't really care for the company of others! I'm pretty happy pottering on without mummy friends. I'm never bored, always busy.
I guess it depends on what you feel you need in terms of peer support x

 

[Lilmiss1]

Yes, it's lovely seeing the Los grow and play together. And share notes!

 

[New2Bumps]

There were 4 couples in my group and the group kind of halved. 2 of them lived up the road from each other and couldnt' really be bothered to branch out to anyone else. One of them seemed very bitchy and I didn't stay in touch with her. The other one I keep in contact with on FB.

Ditto having friends with kids the same age, really good to talk to about stages, similar to being on bnb I guess.

 

[Banshee]

Two and a half years on I am still in touch with most of the women from my nct group and I see lots of them every other week approx. They have been a life line for me and it was great to have someone whose LO is the same age to discuss development with and see how these children that I first saw as bumps are growing up. It might be worth giving it a try to maintain the relationships as it can take a while to build friendships I find.

 

[NotNic]

All 7 of us still meet up. 6 meet weekly and the 7th lives half hr drive away so comes when she can. The Dads also have gone for a couple of curries and we all meet up and do Sunday lunches etc. as a full group. Most of the time I enjoy their company and as I moved here a week before my son was born, I didn't really know anyone. In the beginning especially we helped each other out. Now we don't need each other exactly, but its still great to have people in the same boat as me. Most of my group have strong personalities though so if I'm not full of beans I do cancel. It helps me to keep things breezy iykwim.

I do know we are lucky though. I took F to a couple of the antenatal sessions after us to talk about my experiences and I could see that some groups just don't mesh. Its the luck of the draw.

 

[pompeyvix]

I am confused, is an NCT group the same as antenatal classes run by the NHS you go to when heavily pregnant, or something completely different?

I went to the NHS run ante natal class and was really hoping to meet other mum's and perhaps form friendships. But our class just sat round in silence and nobody talked to one another. It didn't help though that one of the sessions was cancelled and as a result two weeks worth were run together in one go, and it was so fast paced that there was no time to mingle and chat.

Maybe we were just unlucky!

I've had a real tough time making mummy friends full stop since having Anabella. I really thought I'd be different and easy,. Oh well!!

 

[NotNic]

No NCT is private. We joked that you were paying £20 a friend! I went to our Sure Start postnatal group (free) and never saw any of those girls again. My NCT girls had better luck with their groups and see them quite often

 

[ktod]

I didn't join NCT cos I thought the price was a bit steep, but it is interesting to read from pp about the dads meeting up. I hadn't really considered that. I go to sure start and local baby groups myself but OH has never done anything like that and doesn't know any other dads. Not that he's bothered, he's happy with the dumbass friends he's already got lol but I think if he knew dads then it would be easier to meet up with mums as you could go as a couple and it would be less awkward.

 

[charlie15]

Yeah i can totally see the benefit of keeping in touch with them, however i am just so different from most of them! I'm pretty earthy and for want of a better way of putting it the others (except 1) are yummy mummies!! i think i may just go occasionally when i'm up to it as i would like to try and keep in touch with one couple and would love S to get to know their LO.

I am also about to start doing a few other things with S and i suppose i may meet more like minded people that way. I hope so.

 

[Mrs Doddy]

Didn't do nct bu it was a postnatal course, we all keep in touch , offer advice ect there's one that's very competitive and talks over everyone .. We've all distanced ourselves a bit but meet up in small doses, four of us see each other regularly x

 

[NotNic]

ktod - the guys in our group get on really well. My oh commutes to work with another Dad, two of them now play golf together regularly etc., so quite a few share interests outside of being new Dads. I think it helped us that we all had similar pregnancies and outlooks, plus our babies all came within 18 days of each other, so they all became Dad's really close together. If any of the Dads are around on our meet up days they crash and eat cake with us too

Our NCT lady was very keen to get the guys talking as she could see they would get on. It also helps us mums keep in touch as couple / group things make it feel more like a normal friendship iykwim.

 

[ILoveShoes]

We didn't keep in touch with anyone off our NCT course.
To be honest, I didn't really enjoy the course or click with any of the other couples.
Maybe I'm just a misery guts!
xx

 

[missmayhem]

i went to the NCT weekly group and gave up with it in the end, was fed up with my newborn being jumped over by a 4 yr old, the other mums just let there older kids run riot with no control