Thank you so much ladies. I had discussed it with my pdr prior to getting pregnant and he said in some cases the benefits truly outweigh the risks. I’ve seen several obgyn so far this pregnancy (due to appointment availability or unavailablity rather) and all of them were completely against prozac in the first trimester. The last one I saw however said the same thing my pdr said, that if it is really needed then i should take it and advised that I discuss my symptoms with him if I wasn’t sure. this to me seems very logical and reasonable.
I am a sufferer of genralized anxiety disorder. I also suffer depression mostly as a side effect of GAD (mind working overtime to worry about anything it could worry about needing to shut down in order to rest). My concentration has pretty much flown out the window a few weeks after the tapering process. I’ve lost energy and become impatient, distant, angry. Often lost in the self-depreciating thought cycles that often haunt me.
Then, something terrible happened. A child at my kids’ school drowned during swimming lesson. The school has closed temporarily for inquiries to be made by officials but I could scarcily stop crying since. I can’t stop thinking of the mom who sent her kid off to school one morning to have that be the last time she sees him alive. This tiny community we live in seems so excited about having something juicy to talk about, they seem to have nothing important to do. People that have never mentioned this school before seem to all of a sudden know all its inner workings. They’re calling for punishment and for the school to close for good.
Yes, the child was the school’s responsibility. But if I were a childhood educator, P.E./swimming instructor, teacher’s assistant, no matter the circumstances, I would not want a child to die on my watch. No one is that horrible. No one intended for this to happen. Those people are suffering, too. Of course there will be consequences but they’re horrified they lost one of their kids.
In addition to that, as an anxiety sufferer... this scenario I already imagined when my dd started swimming lessons last year. On her swimming days I’d pace around unable to calm down because what if I recieve that call?
School will reopen next week and I can’t even imagine being separated from my kids. I just can’t see myself being able to take them in. I’m so terrified. I don’t even know what to tell my kg2 kid. Surely her classmates, especially ones with older siblings, would be talking about it. How am I going to explain death to my child who is not even 5 yet?
I just...really needed to get this out. I can’t stop trembling and heart palpitations have become almost constant again (another known symptom of anxiety for me). I wish I could sleep all this away and put my kids under a protective bubble while I slumber...