heavyheart
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 8, 2011
- Messages
- 632
- Reaction score
- 0
yeah thats something i will do, i have wanted to for a long time. She is often mentioned but i have just never told him that i would like to openley name her i think more for not wanting him to hurt anymore than he already does. He holds alot of guilt of not being able to "be there" and i made the mistake of throwing it in his face not long after. I lecctured him in a fit of upset and despair that he had no idea what i went through physicaly and told him all the details, i still remember the horror on his face. Its because of that and that its been too painful. I did get counceling for 4mths a year after and it did help to a point he also had seperate sessions which was good but for some reason i still rather not directly talk to him about it even though we face everything together and are so so close. Maybe it has a part to play that he is my rock and always appears strong and protects me and that was the only time i saw him fall apart and didnt know how to get us through and i cant bare to open that back up for him.
It may not be straight away but i will tell him one day because i know thats the right thing to do i just need to feel a bit stronger first. Thank you for your kind words and it has meant alot being able to share it on here ive never had this kind of outlet before. xx
Wow it is like I am reading my own mind reading your notes... Our husbands are our rocks... when my hubby broke down with me all he could say was i need to be your rock.
He also was nto there when this happened to me either... we thought eveything was going fine I was waiting for surgery that was 5-6 hours away in the emerg section... I sent him home for stuff.... he needed to "do" something for me and I made a list of things I needed... that was when it all happened!!!
I am sooo glad we are not alone and we have this place to come to... my husband actually asked me last night whiel i was typing what i was doing... I just said oh I am on a forum thing... that was it... not sure why i cant tell him I put my heart out on a platter for everyone here .. i dont talk about this site at all to him.. not that I hide it I just dont talk about it.
I also gave my first little angel a name "Chase".. I do nto knwo the gender... my husband does nto know this either. I have never intended to tell anyone this... I have never named my last little angel.. I am not sure why. I guess I am not ready yet... sometimes I feel like since I did nto know the sex and i was not far enough along I should not give the baby a name... I think i will someday... not now though.
ok thanks for reading.. blab blab blab...
lol...
Aw the support and sharing of such personal journeys with eachother had really helped i dont know what i would do without all you ladies. It gives me a feeling of not being alone in this and thats a first. Just knowing that there are people who have the same feelings, worries, sadness is a comfort but i do wish none of us had to be here if you know what i mean.
I think it it lovely that you sill named your first angel, thats beautiful and will help. It doesnt matter that you never new the babies sex thae fact is is that you both sill lost your baby and all the hopes and dreams that you have from when you first see those lines on the pee stick. You will also do what you feel right with this loss 2 when you feel ready to. Never feel like you shouldn't or cant say goodbye and deal with your losses in the way thats best for you just because you feel you werent far enough along, always do what makes it a little easier on your heart
one step at a time eh.Funny i dont tell my husband about this either or should i say i dont tell him about any discussions i have or anyone elses. He knows that i talk to other mums who have all had losses but i never tell him about it i just think this is for me and my healing and support. We all help each other on here its our own support group if you like as we all as women understand what we all have been and are going through.
and not knowing what you would do but the only option would be big breathe and carry on trying. Listen to me eh easier said than done i know, but you wont have to cause iam sure its going to be your month huni xxx
xx
but no hopes for a + then.
Iam sad that iam not pregnant but glad that at least am having something normal happen again and hopefuly ill get my bfp this cycle xxx
for the witch Nicky. But atleast u can start a new with this new cycles and alteast you body is back in working order iykwim xx
but plenty of time yet to turn that round as I am only 8/9dpo atm
