Anyone thinking about NOT having another bc of risk?

[ermm23a]

I had HELLP set in at 33 weeks preg, and my LO had stopped growing at 30 weeks because of it. Thankfully he is now a happy and healthy 7 month old. I asked my doctor if I am at risk of this happening again in any future pregnancies and she said yes, and that I would be monitored a lot more closely next time.

I love my little man so much, and I am so thankful that he is happy and healthy today. There was a preemie in the NICU beside him while he was back there that didn't make it. I also have a family friend who had a preemie that didn't make it. It makes me realize how dangerous having a baby prematurely can be. I am starting to wonder if I should have another baby at all? Would it be worth risking it again? The first time I had no clue I would have any complications, and thank God he is fine, but now that I know I'm at risk, should I even consider having another one?

I honestly do not think I could handle losing a child, and I know that is a very likely possibility when you have a preemie, you know? It makes me scared and then I think that I have been blessed with one healthy baby so maybe I should just be happy with a small family and not risk having another. Would it be selfish of me to have another one, knowing he/she would be born prematurely and at risk for all kinds of complications/problems?

Anyone else in the same boat?

 

[Srrme]

I was on the fence about having another one -- leaning more toward not having another one, but I ended up getting pregnant, and am now almost 29 weeks. I have been monitored very closely this time around, with bi-weekly cervix length checks, weekly progesterone injections, and bi-weekly growth scans. So far, so good.

It's scary, but if you do decide to have another one, you WILL be monitored much closer, and it's not a guarantee you will have another preemie.

 

[25weeker]

Yes I am considering not having anymore as I have already lost a daughter and not sure I could cope with losing another. I also dilated at 21 weeks and spent a month in hospital until I gave birth. I now have Holly to consider and how would we cope with me being on bedrest again. There is also the consideration that so far despite hollys extreme prematurity she is developing well and next time we might not be so lucky.

Sometimes I wish we would have an unplanned surprise to take the decision away from me but doubtful that will happen!

If only we could keep the innocence of when we first fell pregnant last time. Now we know too much bad stuff!

 

[ermm23a]

Yes I am considering not having anymore as I have already lost a daughter and not sure I could cope with losing another. I also dilated at 21 weeks and spent a month in hospital until I gave birth. I now have Holly to consider and how would we cope with me being on bedrest again. There is also the consideration that so far despite hollys extreme prematurity she is developing well and next time we might not be so lucky.

Sometimes I wish we would have an unplanned surprise to take the decision away from me but doubtful that will happen!

If only we could keep the innocence of when we first fell pregnant last time. Now we know too much bad stuff!

Exactly.... An unplanned pregnancy would take away the choice! But, considering we had to go the clomid route the first time I don't know how easily I could even get pregnant again... So unplanned is highly unlikely.

I am very sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine the pain of losing a child. It really hit home to me when mine was in the NICU- how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken away in a moment. And he didn't even have any "serious" preemie issues, but it was terrifying living in fear every time my phone would ring while he was in the hospital.

I just don't know if I want to risk bringing another child into the world, knowing that it's more likely than not he/she would be premature. Because you never know how prematurity will affect them. I was lucky first go round, but not sure I should try my luck a second time.

 

[ermm23a]

I was on the fence about having another one -- leaning more toward not having another one, but I ended up getting pregnant, and am now almost 29 weeks. I have been monitored very closely this time around, with bi-weekly cervix length checks, weekly progesterone injections, and bi-weekly growth scans. So far, so good.

It's scary, but if you do decide to have another one, you WILL be monitored much closer, and it's not a guarantee you will have another preemie.

Congrats to you! I am so glad everything is going well for you. I hope you go full term with this pregnancy!!!!

 

[kelly6407]

I always wanted 3 kids but after my girl(no.2) was born at 28+6 weighing 1lb 8.5oz it was the scariest time of my life, not knowing if she would come home with me etc.
I feel selfish bringing another child into the world if they have to be put through that.
So no more for me

 

[toothfairyx]

I'm expecting another after thinking I couldn't face it ever again. My concern was more that I didnt want a premmie pre 28 weeks, as without other complications the outlook seems so much better. My little man has done so well I realise that we have been so lucky, and my issue was just preterm labour fortunatley there were no other complications in play. This baby was a happy accident and has helped me move forwards from the bad experience we had before. Having had a few more scans I'm now sure I dont have a cervix issue and went into labour for a reason that we will never know, but happened because it must have been safer for him to have been born than to stay put.

If you had another, you would be better monitored which should, even if the risk of prem delivery is still high mean the risks posed are less.

 

[Agiboma]

Despite all my issues i still do want another. Since my stich failed X2 last pregnancy im having surgery soon to get an abdominal stich put in. Now if only my Pre e and GD can stay away till at leeast 34 weeks, last pregnancy pre e came @ 19 weeks, dispite the odds im gonna give it 1 more try

 

[AP]

It's such a very very hard decision. I had always said never again after Alex was born but I was beginning to change my mind - and then I discovered I was pregnant anyway. I did feel guilty and upset a bit throughout the pregnancy but its a difficult one and a very very personal decision. Remember there are people out there to look after you, and so many others decide to TTC after a preemie.

I would probably advise sitting down with a doctor or consultant and finding out what would be the risks and plan of action, and go from there (something which I always intended to do but it was too late )

 

[Marleysgirl]

We are currently TTC #2. We always knew we wanted two children but, after Andrew, we did do some serious thinking about whether to risk a second premature baby - as they cannot identify why I had bloodflow problems, there is every chance the problem could happen again.

But we do not want Andrew to be the reason why we didn't have a second child. As he grows up, we don't want him to think that his premature arrival was the reason we decided not to give him a brother or sister.

And of course we have all that experience to help us next time round So, we have taken advice from the consultant and we have been assured of greater monitoring this time.

 

[katy1310]

I'm exactly the same. We always wanted two children but after having Sophie at 27 weeks I'm now really unsure. My main worry is putting another baby through that, and we were very lucky with Sophie in that she had a relatively "easy" journey through neonatal, and is doing great now, and another baby might not be so lucky. I would hate to put another baby through that....I just don't know what to do for the best. I know there would be closer monitoring but still, I'm just not sure. Even if Sophie had been fullterm, we wouldn't have been TTC again till she was about 3, so we do still have time to think it through. xx

 

[mummy3]

I always wanted a big family and so far have 4 kids, all preemie. From what I'm told I was unlucky. My first was preemie as a result of HELLP like you, she came at 35 weeks and it was touch and go for both of us but she quickly recovered. I was single when she was born so didnt put much thought into any more until I met my now husband. We fell pregnant when she was 3 1/2 and I had a perfectly healthy son at 35 weeks again pprom this time but he was fine

A year after DS was born I fell with DD2, on contraception and not having periods due to bfing, I had placenta preavia and she was delivered at 33 weeks after going into preterm labour, she was healthy and out the NICU in 10 days! We tried for Eilidh DD3 and from 19 weeks or so I was in and out of preterm labour, even with progesterone injections and all kinds of meds. I then had pprom but ended up needing induced at 32 weeks. Shes had a rough ride.

I've already seen a high risk perinatologist and have been told that theres no reason I cant make it to term. With DD3 I started the progesterone injections after already been in preterm labour so they may work if we get pregnant again but I'm very worried. I have the copper coil in now to make sure I dont conceive and will wait a few years to give my body a rest.

Definately see a high risk specialist and get some advice, once you know the risks and what extra care is availible to you make the decision.

Btw, I got so much extra monitoring after the HELLP syndrome and it didnt return

 

[heidi1130]

I also developed HELLP and because of it my husband & I decided that this was our last. She is doing amazing for being only 6 days old and born at 31+1 but I don't think we could get this lucky a 2nd time.

 

[Foogirl]

I'm on my last packet of pills before we try again. I'm very nervous. Our problem is we have no idea what went wrong and therefore no way of telling whether it will happen again. For us it came down to weighing up risks.

 

[Jen1802]

I've had one full term pregnancy (41 plus 4) and the second was 26 plus 4. Thanks to the reassurance of the doctors and medical staff I've no hesitation in having another one. They aren't 100% sure what happened but suspect an incompetent cervix and infection resulted in early dilation and prom but before being discharged the consultant we spoke with explained the extra steps they'll take should we fall pregnant again and it totally reassured me. Speak to your doctor and that will maybe help make your decision easier. We can't try again for 11 1/2 months anyway because of the type of ceserean incision they had to make so at least the decision has been taken out of our hands for the next load of months anyway! lol. Good luck! xo

 

[Marleysgirl]

I'm on my last packet of pills before we try again. I'm very nervous. Our problem is we have no idea what went wrong and therefore no way of telling whether it will happen again. For us it came down to weighing up risks.

Don't be scared, I'll be your TTC buddy and hold your hand

 

[bumpsmum]

I was a bit weiry at first and as I had a pre-existing kidney condition thought developing pre-ewas inevitable but as they are totally unrelated and was reassured about extra monitoring we will have felt more happy to go for it! Only you and your partner will know if its right for you but for me living with the 'what if' would have been harder xx

Foo.......jumping on the baby making train eh......can just oicture Abby telling you how to change babys nappy properly and telling him/her stories hehe xx

 

[Foogirl]

I'm on my last packet of pills before we try again. I'm very nervous. Our problem is we have no idea what went wrong and therefore no way of telling whether it will happen again. For us it came down to weighing up risks.

Don't be scared, I'll be your TTC buddy and hold your hand

It's been a while, but I'm not sure holding hands is how it's done..... lol

 

[you&me]

I had sudden and severe onset of PET in my first pregnancy, Reagan was delivered at 29 weeks because of it, weighing 2lbs 5ozs...it took me 4 years to even consider having another baby, I just wasn't emotionally ready to do the journey again if that was the way it took me.

I had loads of monitoring when I did fall pregnant again, my care was mostly consultant based, I won't say my second pregnancy was an easy one, I was admitted regularly to hospital for increased blood pressure, but the hardest part was the emotional side of it, the guilt, the worry, the stress, the uncertainty of it all...but I did make it to 38+5 before PET got me again and they delivered.

3 and a half months after my second I fell pregnant again...and as you can see I am now 36+2...so it can be done

 

[AP]

Abby will be the funniest big sister