Anyone with teenage daughters?

[leedsforever]

You are a great mother! i'm 18, my mother knows i've been with my bf for 2 yrs, we use condoms but i'd love a more safe method. i've been hinting about it but she refuses to talk about it! and my doctors my dad so not like i can go to him. It's great that you are so open with your daughter, she's lucky to have a mom like u

aww hunni thats a lovely thing to say i tell Lisa this too

sorry you have no one to go to!! Could u not go to a different surgery or a local family planning clinic!!

 

[sleepinbeauty]

I wouldn't ever "put" someone on anything, but if she comes to you and requests it, I'd go for it. Just as long as she uses a condom for STD stuff, she'll be alright. Or even just as a backup...

 

[Mervs Mum]

I wouldn't ever "put" someone on anything, but if she comes to you and requests it, I'd go for it. Just as long as she uses a condom for STD stuff, she'll be alright. Or even just as a backup...

Thank you for taking time to the reply but I did ask for opinions from people who either have teenage kids/nieces/sisters etc. or from those who had gone thought this with their own mums. I respect that you wouldnt ever 'put' your daughter on anything but with the greatest respect, you dont know how you will feel if you ever have a teenage daughter I thought I would and wouldnt do many things but until it's YOU in the position you can never say how you will deal with things. Perhaps that's why you have a 'she'll be alright' mentality towards it. I dont have that luxury as she's a real and precious person to me

 

[Scottish Sam]

Stalker alert!!

I dont have a teenage daughter but will be 30 this year and just wanted to say that I think one of the best things a mum can do is to have an open relationship with her daughter, just like you have. My mum and I can talk about anything, she seriously is my best friend. You sound like a fab mum and Emily really is very lucky to have such a fabby mum

I also think you are doing the right thing regarding looking into contraceptive choices for Emily as to be honest I dont think many young teenagers are fully able to grasp the pros and cons of the wide choice available out there. Not sure if you have already spoken to her about what her feelings are on contraception? I went on the pill at 14 due to having mega painfull periods and it didnt encourage me to have sex before I was ready.

I really hope I can have such an open relationship with Rebecca

 

[Rachiebaby24]

Thanks so much Rachel It means a lot to hear this. I have a great deal of respect for you and I think yours and your family's open attitude with each other is exactly the way I want things to be here.

I know a few people have said to stay away from the depo but I still think it's down to the individual. Both me and my sister have used it and not had any problems - infact I concieved after 3 months with #1, 2 months with #2 and my sister caught the egg on the first cycle!

aw thank you.....you dont know what its means to hear someone say that

 

[Mervs Mum]

Well I thought I'd update this thread....

Since posting I have had a number of conversations with Emily for various reasons - this topic obviously and also because of the HPV vaccine.

As the HPV vaccine program started when she was in Y9 she will be part of the mop up, which means she wont get the jabs until she is almost 17.
I'm really keen for her to have the vaccine and for it to be given before she becomes sexually active. Emily knows very well that getting pregnant is (as far as I am concerned) the least of her worries - catching an STD ranging from a dose to HIV is a much bigger concern for me personally. So she understands the importance of the use of condoms to protect her sexual health and then contraceptive as well - a kind of belt AND braces approach is what I like to instill in her.
Obviously I wont be there to ensure she always takes my advice so I spoke to the school nurse about her getting the HPV before Y11. The nurse advised I go the GP and plead my case. My GP is lovely so Emily and I went to her today. She has girls a couple of years older than Em so she knows EXACTLY where I'm coming from. We talked about the jab and she said she would check if we were able to request it before she would get it under the mop up. We also talked about contraception and the timing of it. She advised us that there is obviously no need until she is sexually active and echoed what I had said about the importance of condoms. She talked to us both about the importance of getting the right type of contraception when the time comes. She told Emily that she could either come with me or on her own if she didnt want to talk to me about it - Emily looked shocked and said she would definately be with me but I told her she didnt know that when it came to it that she would still feel that way. The Dr told her that it was important that she knew her options and then she could decide if she wanted me involved at the time. She then explained that the advantages of me knowing are that I can remind her to take her pill and if she wanted to keep it private that she would be able to have the implant. The injection is not recommended in very young or older women as it carries a risk of osteoperosis (sp).

so we came out feeling very informed. Emily asked me how the mini pill and combi pills worked and how the implant worked too.

I'm really happy with how things are progressing and now it's just a case of waiting until Emily asks me or a boyfriend crops up maybe and I'll remind her to remember what the options are.

 

[leedsforever]

glad things went well hun, and Emily is listening to you and the docs advice

 

[bex]

Glad it worked out well. Well done Lisa. As you know i haven't got a teenager but am getting tips for when Niamh is older!!
Somehow i don't think stefan's plan of locking her in her room till she's 35 is going to work!!!

 

[Rachiebaby24]

Thats brilliant Lisa....gonna do the same with Maley....i think the best approach is openness (and if anything did ever happen - i would like to think that Maley would come to me regardless as it would break my heart if she was scared to or dealt with it on her own).....well done!

 

[Dizzy321]

That is excellent Lisa! sounds like you are doing a great job! This is how I want to be with Rosie...there is so much that mothers should tell their daughters but dont and its quite worrying, great job x

 

[Mervs Mum]

Ta girls

It's funny coz I went to a funeral yesterday and I was talking to a fellow cricket WAG who's girls are 17 and the same age as Em. We havent seen each other since last season so we were catching up and obv we have teen girls in common. She was saying how she was exactly the same with her two. She said that her eldest had boyfriends but she just kind of knew when she got with this one it was 'just different'. He's at Uni so he's got his own place etc so she told her DD that there would be no sleeping over until she was on the pill. At first her DD said she didnt need to as she wasnt ready but then she did come to her and say she wanted her to come with her to the Dr. So they went and she got the pill and she armed her with lots of condoms etc. And my friend said that nothing else was said for a while but she started staying over and one day her DD said 'Mum it happened and it all went well and that's all I'm saying!' Her mum was pleased that she told her and I was pleased to hear that it can work out that way.

 

[hopeandpray]

Ta girls

It's funny coz I went to a funeral yesterday and I was talking to a fellow cricket WAG who's girls are 17 and the same age as Em. We havent seen each other since last season so we were catching up and obv we have teen girls in common. She was saying how she was exactly the same with her two. She said that her eldest had boyfriends but she just kind of knew when she got with this one it was 'just different'. He's at Uni so he's got his own place etc so she told her DD that there would be no sleeping over until she was on the pill. At first her DD said she didnt need to as she wasnt ready but then she did come to her and say she wanted her to come with her to the Dr. So they went and she got the pill and she armed her with lots of condoms etc. And my friend said that nothing else was said for a while but she started staying over and one day her DD said 'Mum it happened and it all went well and that's all I'm saying!' Her mum was pleased that she told her and I was pleased to hear that it can work out that way.

how much detail did she think her mom wanted her to go into

 

[bethany90]

My daughters only six so i don't really have advice, but i'm 22 and i still watch hannah montana lol. Me and my daughter love it lol, i was quite immature too, i never had a boyfriend until i was 17

 

[mommy43]

mmm here goes dont tell my daughter i told u she will kill me lol
shes 15 n has an implant i have been open with her about sex n from the very few people i have told i got quite a bit of stick saying i was encouraging her to have sex because i agreed to contraception
possibly yes but thats a 2 sided argument i know my daughter i have given as much info as possible before hand so hopefully she didnt see it as a green light to have sex she is also aware of the importance of condoms the no glove no love but she can also be immature but has had a boyfriend
but each teenager is different u know ur daughter my advice is if u feel its time get her contraception i know my daughter is "too young" but im not niave enough to think tats enough to prevent her having sex is
i was adivsed against the depo apparentlythey dont reccommend it for u if ur bones are still growing thats what i was told anyway

 

[jazmine18]

i would just book an appointment and tell her to discuss contraception with her doctor, she might open up more, my mum and me had a close relationship and we quite open with eachother, but for some reason i would have denied i was having sex til i was blue in the face..:-S..so my mum only mentioned contraception a couple times then let it go..i suppose as a young teenager i was quite immature,,but naive also..i fell pregnant with my daughter at 18, if it werent for being as shy and scared of having sex i hate to admit but it probably would of happened alot earlier.
So just set up an appointment and get some info leaflets or something.

 

[mrsadair]

my mom never talked to me about sex or babies or birth control. everything i learned was from friends and books, tv, school, etc. i took myself to get on the pill when i was 18. i had asked my mom about it and she refused to take me because she said that was just giving me a license to go out and screw. idk. i wish she'd talked to me about it and taken me to get the pill or at least approved of it and not made me feel like i was a bad person for wanting to sleep with my then serious boyfriend and be safe about it. idk.

 

[Mervs Mum]

mommy43 - I think you have a sensible approach

Jazmine - that's basically what we did (I updated further back in the thread )

MrsAdair -

 

[Serene123]

My mum didn't know I was having sex untill I said "mum.. I'm pregnant"

 

[mrsadair]

hehe yeah, when i told my mom, she goes - "you told me you were waiting until marriage!" (we'd been living together for like 6 months already, together for a year)

 

[MummyToAmberx]

I can only comment off how ive done it. I sorted it all out myself at age of 15 & half. Personally i think id have a talk with my daughter around that age see how she feels.
Im not 1 for liking injection to much. Maybe implant.