Are 'good eaters' lucky or as a result of parenting?

[Noodlebear]

Your genes determine how sensitive your taste buds are, there was a big thing about it around Christmas last year (the focus being sprouts). I think a refusal to try things is something that parents may be able to work on but whether or not a kid likes something is nothing to do with their upbringing. Your sense of smell and taste go hand in hand and both change as you get older so it's no coincidence that I enjoy foods now that I wouldn't have touched as a child, not because I was difficult (I'd have obviously eaten something if I liked it lol) but because my tastes have just changed over time. So not only is it in your genes but I think it often comes with age. It's a pain in the ass but the key is patience, otherwise you create unhealthy relationships with food.

 

[JASMAK]

We did not want to get into an argument about parenting so we just left it at that.

I think we both feel that we have worked hard with our 3 (baby makes 4) children to get them into good habits and routines and that it is more than just luck.

This doesn't sound judgey?

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Not at all. Picking apart other people's posts seems judgy.

 

[emyandpotato]

Jasmak I see what you mean, and I read it as slightly judgy at first, but I don't think OP meant it like that. She was just opening it up for discussion. Anyway, everyone who has replied is in agreement with you that it isn't necessarily a parenting fault by any means.

 

[JASMAK]

Not at all. Picking apart other people's posts seems judgy.

Wow.

 

[JASMAK]

Jasmak I see what you mean, and I read it as slightly judgy at first, but I don't think OP meant it like that. She was just opening it up for discussion. Anyway, everyone who has replied is in agreement with you that it isn't necessarily a parenting fault by any means.

It is a sore spot with me as I have had parents tell me I should have done this or that differently so my kids eat better. ... I have likely worked harder than anyone replying on getting my one child to eat and so yes, I found it judgey. If we could all live in this perfect world where we can't understand others struggles. .. well that would be nice. But. .. it's not so easy or straight forward for everyone. If that makes ME sound judgey... well so be it.

 

[emyandpotato]

Jasmak I see what you mean, and I read it as slightly judgy at first, but I don't think OP meant it like that. She was just opening it up for discussion. Anyway, everyone who has replied is in agreement with you that it isn't necessarily a parenting fault by any means.

It is a sore spot with me as I have had parents tell me I should have done this or that differently so my kids eat better. ... I have likely worked harder than anyone replying on getting my one child to eat and so yes, I found it judgey. If we could all live in this perfect world where we can't understand others struggles. .. well that would be nice. But. .. it's not so easy or straight forward for everyone. If that makes ME sound judgey... well so be it.

I know hun I know for ages I felt like any post even mentioning the dangers of formula feeding was a personal attack on me. It's natural for us to be defensive of our parenting as it's the hardest and most important job we do and at the same time it's often the one we feel we fail at the most often. But honestly I don't think anyone would ever consider your childrens' issues to be down to your parenting.

 

[Noodlebear]

I wasn't offended by it but I also see what you mean JASMAK as I read it the same way as you. I don't think you're picking anything apart, if it's something you've battled with I get why a remark like that would sting. You were hurt by a comment (that wasn't intended to upset but did imply that parenting is to blame), that doesn't make you judgy at all.

 

[smileyfaces]

Jasmak I see what you mean, and I read it as slightly judgy at first, but I don't think OP meant it like that. She was just opening it up for discussion. Anyway, everyone who has replied is in agreement with you that it isn't necessarily a parenting fault by any means.

It is a sore spot with me as I have had parents tell me I should have done this or that differently so my kids eat better. ... I have likely worked harder than anyone replying on getting my one child to eat and so yes, I found it judgey. If we could all live in this perfect world where we can't understand others struggles. .. well that would be nice. But. .. it's not so easy or straight forward for everyone. If that makes ME sound judgey... well so be it.

Sore spot with me also and I also believe I have tried harder than most parents on this forum to encourage my child to eat but no avail. However I am really struggling to see why the post was judgey in any way. It is a debate forum in which we give our opinions on the subject matter. It wasnt intended by the OP for people to take offence if their child has a disability

Eating is not a straight forward issue for a lot of parents REGARDLESS of disabilities!

 

[tinkerbelle93]

Jasmak I see what you mean, and I read it as slightly judgy at first, but I don't think OP meant it like that. She was just opening it up for discussion. Anyway, everyone who has replied is in agreement with you that it isn't necessarily a parenting fault by any means.

It is a sore spot with me as I have had parents tell me I should have done this or that differently so my kids eat better. ... I have likely worked harder than anyone replying on getting my one child to eat and so yes, I found it judgey. If we could all live in this perfect world where we can't understand others struggles. .. well that would be nice. But. .. it's not so easy or straight forward for everyone. If that makes ME sound judgey... well so be it.

Sorry you feel this way I know how hard it can be not to take things personally, especially things you've struggled and tried so hard with. I really don't think anyone was being intentionally judgemental, just asking opinions xx

 

[Kate&Lucas]

Not at all. Picking apart other people's posts seems judgy.

Wow.

Forgive me for my difference of opinion.

 

[kerrie24]

Mine were all fruit eaters as babies,wouldn't eat savoury.All 3 between around 1-4 were great eaters,then the eldest two got fussy,12 yr old is back to eating anything,all meat,fish,veg,spicy stuff etc but 8yr old is still in the fussy phase although I encourage her to try new things.I think its luck.

 

[Button#]

I do think a certain amount of luck comes into play. My LO was fed a wide variety of veg as a baby and would eat it very happily. Then fussiness set in and we struggle to get him to eat veg at all except veggie fingers and sweetcorn. We tried all sorts to try and get him to eat veg and also eggs as he's vegetarian and he should be having some but he won't eat it. He gets offered whatever we're eating at every mealtime but as he is bottom percentile for weight and under the line for height I do make sure he has something he likes on his plate as well and will make him peanut butter on toast if he won't eat any of it. It scares me when he doesn't eat anything for a meal that he'll drop under the percentile and I'll be dragged through paediatrician appointments and blood tests again. I've been told by paediatricians and dieticians that the diet I offer him is excellent but even they say you can't make a child eat anything they don't want to.

 

[RaspberryK]

I think it can be one, the other, both or neither depending on the circumstances.
Xx

 

[NoodleSnack]

I think it's luck of the draw. My mum raised three kids, I will eat any vegetable, my older brother has no taste bud and doesn't care what he puts in his mouth taste-wise (but he's health conscious), my younger brother is the type that picks the olive from the pizza, his diet consists mainly of carbohydrate and meat.

I often see this kind of causal belief about parenting, someone would say "my kid is a sweet and happy child because we practice AP" and then you scroll down the forum and someone else will say in another thread "my kid is sweet and happy because we keep good boundary and discipline". Someone would say my kids sleep well because we work hard at a routine, they seemingly don't see the hundreds of threads where babies don't sleep despite all the routines the mother puts in place (of couse she gets told to forget the routines if it's driving her crazy).

Some kids eat what their parents offer, some dig their heels in for months on end. At the end of the day, it's down to the kid's temperament, which we have no control over.

 

[lindseymw]

I think it CAN be down to parenting. I am sure there will be things that some parents do that will encourage fussy eating whether they like it or not. A friend of my Mams is obsessed with health/fat intake etc and it has had a profound effect on her daughters. They found it difficult to go to sleepovers, parties etc because the food that was served was unhealthy (pizzas, sausages etc) and it was ingrained that this food was bad.

On the otherhand, some kids are just fussy and no amount of parenting techniques will sway them.

I think fussiness can be caused by parenting or just be the child's personality or both.

 

[Dragonfly]

Well my first is very underweight. Vaccine injured. Both myself and partner are good eaters. My second son is a fantastic eater. BLW and third not eating just yet. But I really wish people would take in to account the normal ways children learn to eat which isnt plate loads of food in a day. So when they have a child that grazes and is selective its a bad thing to them. :/ this to me is normal. Learning and listening to your body. So if you let that carry on they eat a better diet in the end and dont over eat like so many do now. I done a lot of research when my son wasnt eating. Goal should be let your child eat when they are hungry, be healthy not get as much food as possible down.

 

[Bex84]

I do think its different child to child. Gosh I could be labelled picky as vegetarian. As a child I
would spit meat out, not only did I not like where it came from I could not stand the texture. My dh had crap diet as a child and eats everything, I had healthy diet and am much more fussy despite better upbringinging with food. My lo will try stuff and I think we tried to give her best start but I know plenty of children who are fussy and taught quite a few children
Who couldent stand certain textures. I don't think anyone here is judging and I think a major
rity of people say mix but just because you expose children
Doesent mean will be less fussy. My lo loved bananas when
weaned then hated for a year and now suddenly loves again, gosh knows if anyone can explain that one lol

 

[MummyMana]

As an ex-sufferer of an eating disorder I've always been adamant that I'd "make sure" my children had healthy eating habits and would be exposed to and encouraged to enjoy a vast variety of foods. For the first few months of weaning she did. At around 9 months she had a stomach bug and even after she was better she was still sick when food so much as touched her lip. Now, 6 months on, I'm happy of she eats at all! She won't eat any fruit or veg, hardly any potato (she used to love veg and mash), or any kind of tomato sauce (which is difficult as psssata featured a lot in my cooking, as does veg). I persevere, I try being sneaky, and I often end up in tears that she just won't eat! What she will eat is cheese, bananas, peanut butter sandwiches (granary or seedy bread), fish sometimes, sausages, chicken, plain pasta (with cheese) or pasta with pesto. I always give her whatever we're having in the vain hope she may eat some, I even try fork/spoonfeeding. I cried tears of joy when she nibbled some yellow pepper the other day.

The same thing happened to my sister, tummy bug at around 18 months. Now all she'll eat is veggie sausage rolls and potato waffle. She does eat fruit, veg and salad though. She's perfectly healthy

Based on that I think maybe there's a bit of luck but its mostly down to events that happen which can't be controlled... A bad experience with food early on, the association with eating certain foods and something bad happening. Once you get older you can rationalise better but sometimes its still a difficult habit to get out of.

 

[hopeandpray]

I think there are some fussy eaters that you just won't be able to change. I think it's also possible to create fussy eaters by allowing bad habits. I think that some parents feel bad because they're children are fussy eaters even though they are doing everything right, at the same time there are parents who are smug when in reality they just got lucky.