Are you telling anyone?

[DeeDee2009]

Hi Ladies,

This is my first post but I've been lurking for a couple of weeks. You all seem so friendly! I've been to another board and I could not believe how they were treating people there...!

Anyway, my OH and I plan to start trying in August and I was just wondering if any of you plan on letting people know that you're trying or going to be trying..I don't want to but on the other hand, I do!! My family and such and my friends who have kids that have been asking me constantly when it's going to happen..haha..just to get them off my back. I don't think we will tell anyone but at the same time it would be nice to let some people know..

Anyone have any thoughts?

 

[kyrabeth]

Theres both sides to it, people will want to know if its happened yet if you tell them. But if you struggle or things dont quite go to plan, there are people around to support you.

 

[Pops]

Nope, we are telling no one. We are NTNP and until either we get that or we are a good year or so into it with no results we will not be telling anyone. We want to keep it all as stress free as possible and having people ask how its going or even if we know they are thinking about it, will make it worse for us as there is a level of expectation there.

If nothing happens in a year then obviously we would seek advice and at that point we would tell our parents the situation. No one else though.

Oh, and welcome to BnB, hope you find it as helpful and useful as I have

xxx

 

[Junebug]

hey there... DH and I are NTNP at the moment because AF is all messed up. A few close friends know, and we get asked all the time when we're going to have kids. In response to your post, I think it all depends on the person I guess. It can be hard telling people you'll be trying and then if it takes a little longer than expected it can be upsetting when you have a bunch of people asking you all the time "so why aren't you preggo yet?" or "I thought you were trying, what's up?". Sometimes we just don't need the extra stress or expectations! Sorry kind of long :S

 

[bigbloomerz]

Nope only the lovely ladies on here know and one of my best friends who lives miles away so she wouldnt tell anyone down here.
I'll tell people when we finally get a BFP, or just after the first scan but not before.
I know too many people who have Opinions on how things should be done, and they would just end up stressing me out even more!
Best of Luck and Welcome to BnB xx

 

[lozzy21]

Iv told my mam were going to try after my 24th birthday and some of my close friends know but i wont be telling any one else.

 

[Amygdala]

My sister knows our plans as well as two very close friends. They are the ones that will be told straight away when I'm pregnant as well. Everyone else (probably including our parents) won't know until I'm past 3 months. I just don't want to have to say "no, not yet" 5 times a day until it happens and then listen to well-meaning advise and explanations. I'm also painfully aware that a lot of pregnancies end within the first 3 months so I'm only going to tell people who I could talk to about that. I think if the worst was to happen it would be hard enough to deal with without feeling like everyone's staring at you or having to listen to people "being there for you".

 

[Tudor Rose]

my mum has an idea she is a 'spiritualist' and when she did my yearly cards in January it said i was either going to marry or become pregnant by the end of the year and seen as why im already married........... so the reading kinda freaked me out a little. so she has and idea. but no one else knows if MIL knew she would flip

but if you feel the need to tell someone tell a close friend i find BnB helps alot when i need a rant etc the girls on here are great.

 

[shambaby]

Hello and welcome

I've only been on here a few days and already I feel right at home and like I'm starting to get to know some of the other girls on here - everyones been really friendly and I was amazed at how much response I got to my first post.

We are planning to TTC (or NTNP - there's a bit of a debate at the moment on some other post as to what counts as TTC!) and don't plan on telling anyone until we get the or probably a while after. It's an absolute nightmare because I have quite a big family and am the only one yet to produce any offspring (even the offspring are starting to have some of their own!!!) and I work in an all female workplace, we got married almost 10 months ago and since then one or the other of us has been asked at least weekly when we're going to have children! One nosy bint at work even asked how old I was and when I said 31 told me I'd better get a move on!!! Thing is, I feel like I'm lying to everyone already, because I just say something like 'not sure', 'not really thought about it' or even make a joke and say I don't want any kids, especially when everyone else's are being naughty! Not sure how I'll cope when we're actually trying, but I know that if we did tell anyone, the questions would become constant and I think that would drive us both crazy!

 

[calm]

I will certainly tell my mother.(oh yes, and my DH LOL) Probably no-one else. (Except the thousands of ladies that read BnB LOL) !

 

[calm]

Hello and welcome

I've only been on here a few days and already I feel right at home and like I'm starting to get to know some of the other girls on here - everyones been really friendly and I was amazed at how much response I got to my first post.

We are planning to TTC (or NTNP - there's a bit of a debate at the moment on some other post as to what counts as TTC!) and don't plan on telling anyone until we get the or probably a while after. It's an absolute nightmare because I have quite a big family and am the only one yet to produce any offspring (even the offspring are starting to have some of their own!!!) and I work in an all female workplace, we got married almost 10 months ago and since then one or the other of us has been asked at least weekly when we're going to have children! One nosy bint at work even asked how old I was and when I said 31 told me I'd better get a move on!!! Thing is, I feel like I'm lying to everyone already, because I just say something like 'not sure', 'not really thought about it' or even make a joke and say I don't want any kids, especially when everyone else's are being naughty! Not sure how I'll cope when we're actually trying, but I know that if we did tell anyone, the questions would become constant and I think that would drive us both crazy!

I know its terrible, never felt old before, but when it comes to TTC it seems like we are dinasours (I am 32). I have to keep reminding myself that this is not the case so not to stress.

 

[Sarahkka]

I guess I sort of have. I've made no secret of the fact that we want a sibling for Simon, and sooner rather than later due to my age (33), but I've also said that a lot depends on work, childcare, etc, so I've been vague enough about it to hopefully ward off those impertinent questions.
It's kind of incredible to ask someone if they're expecting yet. I mean, you might as well start asking about my sex life or fertility cycle.

 

[DeeDee2009]

I guess I sort of have. I've made no secret of the fact that we want a sibling for Simon, and sooner rather than later due to my age (33), but I've also said that a lot depends on work, childcare, etc, so I've been vague enough about it to hopefully ward off those impertinent questions.
It's kind of incredible to ask someone if they're expecting yet. I mean, you might as well start asking about my sex life or fertility cycle.

haha..that's true! People can be somewhat incredible though. A friend of my MIL once patted my stomach and asked me if there was anything in there yet...hello? Very odd.

Thanks ladies. I think I will keep it to myself, as I don't want people knowing we're trying and then if it takes awhile, asking when it's going to happen. It's not like it's totally up to me! I'm just so excited to get cracking and secretly on the inside want to tell everyone in sight..haha..but it'll be even more exciting when I can tell everyone that I'm actually pregnant! I'm so happy I found this board, you ladies are awesome!!

 

[Kiwichick17]

Hi Deedee

I'm also planning on starting to TTC in August. We don't plan to tell anyone we are actively trying as I don't want to raise expectations (also my parents are very gossipy and would tell all my relatives and 1/2 my hometown within a couple of weeks).

However, I have mentioned to my best friend a couple of times that we hope to start trying later this year since she is currently planning her wedding and I just want to ensure we don't mess up her plans.

 

[carla15x]

Nope, our little secret!
Apart from you lot ofc = ]
xx

 

[lilmissmup]

Nope won't be telling anyone we're trying or that I am pregnant until first scan if I can help it

 

[EstelSeren]

My very close friends know about our plans as do DF's parents and brother. Not telling my family until I'm actually pregnant!!

Beca :wave:

 

[kintenda]

Hullo & welcome! Yup, our families know we are going to TTC & I have also told 3 of my friends. I don't think we will make a big secret of it. Easier to cope if it takes a while & we need some support.
xx

 

[Nerys]

I'm a newbie too! I think the best bit of advice I was ever given with respect to having and raising babies was from my Mum when I was pregnant with my eldest (now 11). she said to me,

"Listen to everything that anyone tells you.... and then do what feels right for you and your baby, because everyone is different."

I've pretty much lived by that ever since!

 

[Sparky0207]

Hi and welcome to BnB!

My mum knows and of course the girlies on here but no one else. We told all the family last time which resulted in my BIL's jealous GF getting herself pregnant shortly after and shes already said they'll start trying again when we do so we're not telling anyone else this time and will try to keep the pregnancy quiet for as long as possible too