Are you telling your family/friends when you're TTC

[bakedbean]

Are you planning on telling your family and/or friends that your TTC, when the time comes?

Personally, me and my OH feel it is personal so we are going to keep it between ourselves and not tell anyone else until we are 12 weeks gone Not only is it because we feel it is private and intimate but it will also keep people from giving their unwanted opinions. Whilst my mum is looking forward to grandchildren, we know the rest of the family (although they'd support us) would not be excited about the prospect as much as we will be. We've already had the 'children are hard work' (as if i dont know that!) and 'plenty of time for children' remarks without even bringing the topic up! Although they want to the best for us, we are adults and will make our own minds up when it comes to us as a couple and our future family. (I think i might be a little bit of one of those 'don't tell me how to raise my child' mothers...eek! ).

Will you be keeping it between yourselves or telling others? What are your reasons for doing so?


Just curious!

 

[MummyKP]

My mum knows how much I would like a baby, and she knows we are having 'a chat' next month, but we are very close and I would happily tell her when DH agrees and is 'ready', but I won't be telling anyone else in our family. Only other person that might know is my best friend, but that's all! We will probably tell immediate family around 6-8 weeks, then the rest of the family after 12 weeks

 

[apreslaube]

We will be telling our best friends (my best friend and DH's best friend are husband and wife) and obviously this forum will know. Besides that, no. Some know that we are planning to start trying but we won't be telling them when we start.

 

[aimee-lou]

We didn't and would never tell anyone. Too many questions and opinions and i would feel like i was under pressure which isn't good. Aldo my mum struggles with the concept of me being an adult so i don't get much in the way of support (I'm 31 BTW lol).

 

[Eleanor ace]

I will tell my two closest mummy friends, they know how much I want a 3rd and ask me every time we see each other (which is at least once a week ) whether there are any developments. Plus one of them is considering ttc her 2nd and made me swear to tell her if/when we plan to ttc as she wants to be pregnant at the same time. Her DH will kill me .I may tell my mum or might just leave it until I'm pregnant, she will be excited (I'm pretty sure all of my family will be) either way.

 

[loeylo]

I don't think I will tell anyone. Well, I sort of told a group of friends on Friday (after a few glasses of wine!) but one girl in the group miscarried 10 years ago and is ltttc now (nearly 5 years!) and another miscarried at 13 weeks then ttc her rainbow, and the third has two kids and is thinking about number 3. We did the silly ring trick to see what gender our kids would be and apparently I am having two girls, as I was leaving one yelled "go home and make a baby girl!" And my poor partner wa just standing there like :s haha! So yes, keepin it quiet from my other friendship groups and from our families until about 12+ weeks because of our crap history.

 

[ItsJana]

When we ttc for our next and maybe last child, we'll be keeping it to ourselves. My last pregnancy made me realize how truly jealous some people are when another woman is pregnant or ttc and I'd rather not deal with that.

 

[Caite]

I have no intention of telling anyone. I'm planning on doing this on my own, with IVF, and my family are very old-fashioned and disagree with fertility treatment. Whilst they would be thrilled about the prospect of me having a baby (my nan would/will take some coming round to the idea as she feels sorry for unmarried mums, let alone single mums! - it's her generation, though, and I know they had different opinions and values back in her day), they wouldn't be too pleased with the method.

I will hopefully be able to keep it to myself until I'd had the 12 week scan, though I know that that will be really difficult, and I might just crack and tell someone. I think if I do tell anyone, it would be either my best and oldest friend (we've known each other since we were in secondary school) or possibly two of my other really good friends. Though if I do that, I know that I'll feel bad that my mum wasn't the first one I told!

Depending on where exactly I'm working at the time (I'm on the bank, I work as a nurse mostly and occasionally as a midwife) - I hope to have a permanent job by the time I'm pregnant - will depend on how early I tell my manager. Currently, in nursing, I'm working in areas that don't involve manual handling or personal care, so that wouldn't be a problem, and I'd feel perfectly safe leaving it til after the 12 week scan.

 

[butterbaby]

I don't think we will directly tell anyone except for me maybe telling my good friend who will have a newborn and can relate. Aside from that I feel like you're pretty much telling people "so we're going to be having sex a lot and you won't hear from us again." My mom knows I want to have a child soon and I may tell her if we don't conceive in the first few months (because everyone on both sides of my family conceives very easily). As for friends I have casually mentioned "we may try next year" when it comes up in conversation, so far nobody has had anything negative to say so that's encouraging.

I can totally understand why people would say nothing though..although then you sometimes end up with everyone asking "was it an accident?" or telling people it was an accident like my FIL was saying about my my SIL...yeesh. You can't win.

 

[Autumn leaves]

Will tell my best friend, who will be very close to giving birth\have a newborn. Just as we have always been very close about it. Otherwise no one else 😊

 

[tverb84]

I'll probably tell my mom but I'm not sure who else. I'm a private person about certain things so I won't announce to the world.

 

[jren]

No. I think the TTC process is too personal. We will tell them when we are pregnant and after we are out of the first trimester.

 

[kdmalk]

I really see it as something private. We have been married for over 4 years, so people always ask and I don't give anything away.

We started trying in September and a bunch of bar birthday parties and bachelorette parties came up about that time and so I did explain to my friends why I was skipping their parties. I really had no desire to watch all my friends drink while nursing a water and fielding the "how come you aren't drinking tonight?" questions. I was straightforward and they totally understood why I skipped.

But I never mentioned it to my family, although we are a close group. I told only my cousin because she just had a baby and I was symptom spotting and so I decided to ask her about the first things she noticed. But she didn't tell anyone. I didn't want to have to go through holiday gatherings with people asking if we had gotten pregnant yet, so I just preferred that we didn't tell everyone. It didn't last long because we got pregnant immediately and it didn't take more than a few weeks before the entire family knew. Unfortunately we lost the baby, so I had to go back and tell everyone we were no longer expecting. I hated that part.

We plan to start trying again in January, but we won't tell anyone when we start again. I'm sure they will know though. I just find it weird to explain to people (without actually saying it) that you are going out of your way to have more sex--especially within a 5 day timeframe around O time. I don't want people sitting around thinking about my sex life. lol

 

[skycastles]

I would tell 2-4 of my close friends when I do start trying, but more as a conversational piece, rather than an outright announcement. I definitely would not tell my relatives because I'm fielding enough questions from them as it is. Let them think it's an accident haha.
And def not doing pregnancy announcements on social media websites either

 

[aidensxmomma]

I will more than likely tell a couple of my close friends. One of my friends will be TTC around the same time I am, so she'll definitely know when I finally get the okay from OH. Me and her discuss pretty much everything so it's not big deal for her to know. It's the same with my other best friend.

I might tell my mom after I've been TTC for a while if I feel it's starting to take a long time.

Everyone knows that I want more kids, that is no secret whatsoever. But when it actually comes time for me to TTC, very few people will actually know. I feel that it's a little too private to be sharing with a lot of people.

When I get pregnant, close family and friends will know right away and then everyone else will find out somewhere around 12 weeks, maybe later. I figured that I'd tell my close family right away because I know they'll be excited for me and if I do suffer another loss, I will need their support.

 

[butterbaby]

When I get pregnant, close family and friends will know right away and then everyone else will find out somewhere around 12 weeks, maybe later. I figured that I'd tell my close family right away because I know they'll be excited for me and if I do suffer another loss, I will need their support.

I have always felt that's what I would do. I have trouble keeping good news in so I doubt I'd be able to hide a pregnancy from everyone for 3 months. I figure I'll tell those closest to me, that way if I do end up having a loss then I can have those people to support me or at least understand why I may be acting differently.

 

[cupcake.]

We will not tell anyone that we are TTC when the time comes. I feel like it's too personal and I wouldn't want people constantly asking me whether or not i'm pregnant yet.
I may however cave and tell my best friend. I've never specifically told her that I'm super broody but she just knows and I think she would be super excited.
And when we do get pregnant, we are also planning on waiting till after 12 weeks to announce, but again, I feel like I'll probably tell my best friend. I know that big things like this are kept secret between us, and if I happen to have a miscarriage, she will be there for me.

 

[prettybirdy27]

If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have told my in-laws. They've been terrible since because they think we're not ready. I also have a work friend that I would't have told because I found out he gossipped to the entire office and now everyone knows.

In fact if I could go back in time, I don't know that I would have told anyone at all. I just couldn't resist because it was so exciting, but telling people has caused so much stress and tension that I wish I had just kept my dang mouth shut.

 

[Earthylove]

Nope! And we probably won't tell anyone anything till after the 12 weeks. Although, I do sort of want to tell my mom before then to have someone to talk to as support, but I know she is not good with secrets and will probably tell my grandmother who is also not real great with secrets. So yeah that's a no for me. People have already made discouraging comments about how you are never going to get any sleep and you need to enjoy just being a couple because you will never have that time back again and so on. I feel those comments are kind of condescending because it's not like I don't know that having kinds is a huge change. And we're not entering into this blindly, either. We are budgeting and planning and reading/doing research and planning ahead and all that. I just feel like this is an area where I don't need to involve a lot of people in the process.

 

[tverb84]

If I could go back in time, I wouldn't have told my in-laws. They've been terrible since because they think we're not ready. I also have a work friend that I would't have told because I found out he gossipped to the entire office and now everyone knows.

In fact if I could go back in time, I don't know that I would have told anyone at all. I just couldn't resist because it was so exciting, but telling people has caused so much stress and tension that I wish I had just kept my dang mouth shut.

That's one of the reasons I'm not going to tell everyone. A few of my family members are blabbermouths so I'm for sure NOT telling them. It would spread like wildfire for sure.