Argh - Trying to Decide When To Try - Doing my head in!

[SmileyShazza]

Does anyone else feel a bit under pressure to get pregnant? Not by others but more putting pressure on themselves?

I’m 34, and will be 35 in August. When I last went for a repeat of my pill my Dr said that after my next birthday they would not prescribe the pill for me as they do not like to give it to women over 35, he said they would then look at either the implant or injection. I said I didn’t really want those as hubby and I were thinking of trying for a family sometime this year and they were not as easily stoppable as the pill.

Next year I have been asked to be bridesmaid to two very close friends, this is a great honour obviously. One gets married in May the other in September and even though they have said they are happy for me to be bridesmaid even if I’m pregnant I don’t really want to be pregnant for either of their weddings. Or even worse what if I got pregnant and was due at the same time as their wedding and missed it if something happened. We have also been invited to a wedding in March next year by another friend of mine.

I know you can’t plan when these things are going to happen so hubby and I talked about it and we decided I’d stop taking my pill as it could be months till I get pregnant. Now all I keep thinking about is all the things we’ve got coming up and how it would affect them if I happened to be pregnant at the time.

For instance my hubby has been asked to DJ at a festival overseas in July next year. By then I could be pregnant or have got a small child which might mean I couldn’t go with him.

Ideally I’d just wait until after my friends wedding is done next September but by then I’d be 36 and I am worried that if we leave it too late and then find out it takes longer than planned or we find out we need to have help then I will be yet another year older.

My husband totally understands how I feel, I just wish I was 4 years younger so all these things weren’t such a worry to me. I keep going over everything in my head and wondering what I should do, I do feel ready to take that next step and have children , in fact I actually can’t wait and neither can my OH but it would be good if I knew that being pregnant isn’t going to clash with any of these other things.

I know nobody can make my mind up for me but if only everything wasn’t so difficult to decide

Sorry just needed to get that all out as I feel I can't really talk to anyone else about it - don't want hubby to get fed up with me going over it all again.

 

[lozzy21]

If you keep puttin it off for events you will never do it.

Your age could make it harder to conceve but it may not.

Why not start to try in june next year so if you are lucky enough to get pregnant straight away you wont be showing for your friends wedding?

 

[Pops]

First off, welcome to WTT, I look forward to getting to know you.

I know this probably wont be what you want to hear but I think there will always be hundreds of reasons why it is never the right time to have a baby and if we worked around all of them, very few of us would ever end up having one. I guess we just need to decide what is more important and take it from there. If doing all of the things you mentioned are so very important to you that you are willing to put of TTC for another year or so then that is the right thing. If you decide that you want a family so badly that everything else is going to have to work around that you do fall quickly.

You already know all this I am sure and I just hope you find a solution to suit you and your husband

xxx

 

[SmileyShazza]

If you keep puttin it off for events you will never do it.

Your age could make it harder to conceve but it may not.

Why not start to try in june next year so if you are lucky enough to get pregnant straight away you wont be showing for your friends wedding?

The only thing is I'm not sure what we'd do about contraception till then if the doc won't give me anymore pills.

Surely if I had an implant or injection it is harder to remove?

It is true what you say just as we seem to have a free period in the calendar that looks like a good time to try someone else announces a wedding or something

It doesn't help that I am worrier - I always think things over and over in my head about "what if" and "maybe". I suppose I should just go with the flow and see what happens really.

 

[Pops]

How about using one of the natural methods such as the Clearblue Fertility Monitor. You wee on a stick on certain days and it tells you if you're chances of getting pregnant are low, medium or high so you can plan around that.

I guess these may be better if you wouldn't mind getting pregnant sometime soon but I know a lot of people have used them both to prevent pregnancy and to fall pregnant so could help with that when the time comes too.

xxx

 

[lozzy21]

I had the implant in and wouldent recomend it if you just wanted it in for a short time. It hurts geting it on or out but i will be getting it put back in between chidren.

I came off bcp as a protest and now use comdoms. I think pop's idea of using a fertility montor is realy good. First for not gettin pregnant and when you do ttc it will show you your fertill days so may make the process quicker.

Allthough im a bit younger than you my OH would never give me a date as he kept saying well theres this and this to do. In the end i said if we wait for everything else we will never have one and hes now given me a date.

Ignor your head saying theres this in that month and do what your heart tells you to.

 

[cinnamum]

First off, welcome to WTT, I look forward to getting to know you.

I know this probably wont be what you want to hear but I think there will always be hundreds of reasons why it is never the right time to have a baby and if we worked around all of them, very few of us would ever end up having one. I guess we just need to decide what is more important and take it from there. If doing all of the things you mentioned are so very important to you that you are willing to put of TTC for another year or so then that is the right thing. If you decide that you want a family so badly that everything else is going to have to work around that you do fall quickly.

You already know all this I am sure and I just hope you find a solution to suit you and your husband

xxx

i have to agree with pops here! we had to go around lots of different ideas about when was the best time, who is most important here???
you are right about the pill situation most people dont get there cycles back on track till 6-12 months after stopping.
though you need to bear in mind... everyone is different. if your mates are ok with it then i wouldnt worry, i mean, you'll be so happy with being pregnant and plus you'll be glowing.
if you have a baby before you can dress them up and carry them down the isle with you, think.. flower girl etc x x x x x x x x

 

[LoobyLou75]

I agree too. There will always be something and sometimes you just have to grab an opportunity with both hands.
I do know how you feel though as me and my hubby have been debating when since we married nearly 3 years ago. I am 34 this year and we have decided to just go for it in June.

Good luck!

 

[Cinnamon]

I advise condoms, a bit of a pain but you get used to it and also advise to try in between marriages. For example before the first wedding or just after that, that way you'll be pg by the next in september but only 3-4 months and maybe not show yet. Also you could wait until after the second wedding and have a mini-bump for the march wedding... All this if you want to start TTC straight away... xxxx Good luck!

 

[SmileyShazza]

Well I have been thinking long and hard over the weekend, talked it through with hubby and we are going for it now. Realised there is no point stressing over all these things, I don’t want to wait till next year because of my age and even if I am pregnant for the weddings my friends have both said they don’t care they’d still want me to be bridesmaid.

I haven’t bothered starting my next pack of pills so we are just going to try and see what happens over the next few months

So this it now I suppose I could be classed at TTC. Ordered some Pregnacare Plus tablets and going to start taking them as soon as they arrive, really making sure I eat the right foods and exercise to try and get my body into good condition now too.

Wish us luck ladies!

 

[AnnaBanana9]

Good luck sweetie! Am really excited for you
xxx

 

[buttonnose82]

Well I have been thinking long and hard over the weekend, talked it through with hubby and we are going for it now. Realised there is no point stressing over all these things, I don’t want to wait till next year because of my age and even if I am pregnant for the weddings my friends have both said they don’t care they’d still want me to be bridesmaid.

I haven’t bothered starting my next pack of pills so we are just going to try and see what happens over the next few months

So this it now I suppose I could be classed at TTC. Ordered some Pregnacare Plus tablets and going to start taking them as soon as they arrive, really making sure I eat the right foods and exercise to try and get my body into good condition now too.

Wish us luck ladies!

yay how exciting, wishing you all the luck and sticky dust in the world

 

[akgrown]

Well I have been thinking long and hard over the weekend, talked it through with hubby and we are going for it now. Realised there is no point stressing over all these things, I don’t want to wait till next year because of my age and even if I am pregnant for the weddings my friends have both said they don’t care they’d still want me to be bridesmaid.

I haven’t bothered starting my next pack of pills so we are just going to try and see what happens over the next few months

So this it now I suppose I could be classed at TTC. Ordered some Pregnacare Plus tablets and going to start taking them as soon as they arrive, really making sure I eat the right foods and exercise to try and get my body into good condition now too.

Wish us luck ladies!

The same thing just happened to me! DH and I were going around about when to TTC and then we finally just decided to get off the pills and relax and see what happens At first I was really scared but now I am very excited! Congratulations and I look forward to seeing you in TTC

 

[sbiermann]

I just wanted to let you know that I think it's cute to have preggo bridesmaids! I got married not too long ago and one of mine was 6mos along. She called me in October when she found out, crying saying she was really sorry and she couldn't be in the wedding because she would be "huge" and she wouldn't have started trying yet if she knew she was going to get pg on the first try. I thought she was so silly...and once she realized that she was really happy. And she looked adorable at the wedding! Listen to your heart and good luck with whatever you decide! Best wishes!

 

[Mrs. JJ]

Good luck TTC!!

 

[Cinnamon]

Hey good luck lady!!! And go for it and have fun!!! xxx

 

[kate.m.]

Best of luck! Hope it comes soon for you!

I had a pregnant bridesmaid too, she was only 4 months along, not really showing at all, so you couldnt really tell. Again, i wasnt at all bothered about it- it was more her worrying about fitting into her dress! And looking back at the photos, she held her bouquet in front of her tummy for most of em! The Silly billy!

 

[bigbloomerz]

Good Luck! x