At What age would you leave your kids alone

[Trying4ababy]

Just my opinion. To me a child should not be left alone for very long until they are old enough to understand what to do in emergencies.

I thought leaving a 7 year old by themselves was bad but a 4 year old???? Just my opinion but if you are leaving a 4 year old alone for 2 hours then you have no business being a parent.

 

[WannaB]

I just know what I used to get up to as a kid and purley on those grounds I wouldnt leave my kids at home alone, even the most well behave child gets up to mischeif after all they are children! I didnt leave my eldest at home alone till last year when she turned 15 and then with that comes a whole lot of other things to worry about, like no teenager has ever invited people over while they shouldnt?! But there does come a time when you have to give them space and start to let go a bit. I also have an 11 yo that I dont leave at home alone, shes very clever and well behaved but she doesnt have the maturity an adult has when it comes to a crisis, even I wonder how I would handle some horrible situations, let alone a child with no experience in life. I also dont trust that they wont get into a spat when Im not there to referee them and sometimes pushing and shoving can end in sadness, so would rather not run that risk either. I couldnt bare the thought if something happened that could have been avoided.

 

[GoldenGSD]

I was 11 when my parents started to pop to the shops without me. I remember being so excited about being home alone! I was 17 when they went away for the week and left me and one of my friends home alone.

I think it depends on the child. I am an only child and I was very mature for my age plus we had some great neighbours that would to 'keep an eye' on me. I knew that in an emergency I could run next door. I was a rather boring teenager and wouldn't have even thought about having a party or anything wild!

 

[sobersadie]

I am utterly gobsmacked that anyone could leave a 7 year old and especially a 4 year old home alone!!!! My sons are 4 and 8 and there is no way on this earth they would be left by themselves in the house - ever! I also have a 3 month old daughter and dont let the boys even hold her unless im in the room so there would be no way id let them babysit her. Has the woman who leaves her 4 year old home alone never heard of Madeline McCann? They thought it was 'safe' to leave their kids sleeping alone whilst checking every 1/2 hour and look what happened? As another poster said I would never forgive myself if something happened and i wasnt there to help. I would say 12 at least before id leave them home and only by themself not babysitting their siblings younger than them.

 

[taperjeangirl]

well she claimed it was ok to do it because "she lives in a different country/culture" and everyone does it.

I backed away from this thread for fear of it getting out of hand but I keep thinking about how awful it is!

My oldest is 13 and I still dont leave her in the house alone! She is quite mature, but her head can be full of nonsense some days and I am scared to what I will come home to!

 

[MartaMi]

sobersadie - ofcourse I have heard of Madelaine McCann but I am suspicious about it. I also would never leave my kids alone in a strange place, not to talk about foreign country which language they can't speak or call us for help in that age.
So, school started last week. That means 7yo has been home alone in this and previous week, 5 hours a day after coming home from school. Warms up her lunch, studies, plays etc. She has been okey and is really proud that she can manage on her own.
I just mean that if you say 13yo isn't mature enough to be home alone then when can your kids grow up and study how to be mature, how to be responsible? I'm a P.E teacher and I know which kids can cope with being alone, which can't. I know who I have to constantly remind to take a shower after a lesson, who has their chlothes with them, who I have to tell something all over again. 16yo girl in my class is living alone because her home is 30 km from school and she doesn't want to drive between home and school. She goes home for weekends, Mon-Fry is alone in he apartment and does everything by herself. By the way, she copes with it perfectly and has good grades in school.
I can't remember when exactly my parents started to travel on their own leaving us home alone but they definetely did when I was 14. So week or two home alone with sister during summer, grandparents living about 1 km away. They cooked for us and brought it, we could go there/call if we wanted something. We cooked on our own and look - we are still alive. When I was 15 and on a trip with my dad, one women who had her 15yo daughter with her praised me for being independant and coping on my own. Foreign country, foreign language and I had no problem being on my own when dad had things to do. I was moving around in Paris and in Berlin on my own, no problems.
That is what I want my kids to be like and it is impossible if I don't let them out of my sight, to practice being responsible in their safe surrounding, in their home.

 

[Minstermind]

Is this a normal thing in your culture there? As in, are there a lot of parents doing the same as you, leaving their children age 7 and even younger alone for extended periods of time? It's a very strange concept to me. I have a 7 year old and he is very mature and I'm sure would be *able* to get by fine on his own, but my personal comfort level is that even though he might be -able- for it most the time, I don't think that means he -should- be. It's like that saying goes, ''just because you can, doesn't mean you should''. But this is what I am accustomed to thinking based on my own cultural understandings and experience.

 

[MartaMi]

In here kids go to school 7yo and their day ends 12am. If possible kids go to their grandparents or some schools have daycares where kids can stay for couple of hours and do their homeworks. If that isn't possible they are home alone until parents come home. During school holidays kids are also home alone if they don't have grandparents to go to. I haven't heard that somebody would have hired nanny for that time.
But hey, I live in a smaller place than you. In my town we have 6000 people so really no panic needed. In our capital city we have 406703 people living and people in there let their kids be home alone or come home from school on their own. 9-10yo kids hang around in the mall and on the city on their own.

 

[morri]

I think this is in anyway quite common in Eastern Europe. I think I can also recall that the old east germany was quite similar to this as well(not personally obv xD, but from hearing.) It is just a different mentality and especially in countries that have a low count in population.(as in 1 million is the whole population of one country)

 

[Minstermind]

I did wonder about that as I recall hearing that it was more customary in eastern European countries to do so, or even leave their strollers outside the shop/store while they go in shopping. Just different mentality, I suppose. I wouldn't do it myself but I think before people jump to conclusions about what is right and wrong here, that there should be some willingness to ask questions and try to understand the cultural norm somoene is living in. If most other people in Estonia are doing this, for example, and this is what you are raised with believing is acceptable and ok to do, then it really boils down to cultural differences. Like I said, I wouldn't do it myself and would be much more likely to think badly of a mother who did this in a place where it's not considered acceptable, but I really couldn't pass judgment on someone where it's the cultural norm there.

 

[Trying4ababy]

My town only has 260 people and I still wouldn't leave a 4 year old home alone. I guess though the USA is quite different from other countries. If you leave a young child like that home alone here and someone finds out about it you get Child Services called on you.

 

[Minstermind]

To be honest, having come from the states, I'd be a lot more fearful of letting a child out alone or leaving a child alone at all, regardless the size of the town, due to all the horror stories there. Obviously those horror stories happen EVERYWHERE, so I'm not saying they don't. But either they do seem to happen more frequently there (maybe it's a population issue?) or it's just reported a lot more often in the news. Could be lots of reasons, but the fear issue is definitely present in the states a lot more than it is here in Ireland.

 

[Lara+sam+bump]

Think I was about 8 when I was left alone while my Nan walked the dog for an hour. Im on only child xx

 

[VampMum1980]

i have left my 7 yr old son alone for 20 mins at the most to pick my eldest up from school if hes poorly or busy playing his xbox ( when i get eldest from after scool club) , but wouldnt leave my 10 yr old and 7 yr old alone for more than an hr coz id worry!

plus my 10 yr old is scared of being left alone, i left her for 10 mins last wk to get my 3 yr old from play group when she was home sick n she moaned!

 

[Lillipop]

Well I must say I'm pretty shocked...
I personally would not leave my two eldest children that are 6 and 8 on there own until they were at least 11! Even then it wouldn't be for long, just a nip to the shop down the road or something!
I was roughly the same age when I was left whilst my parents went grocery shopping, even then I remember them ringing to check-up on us (my sis who is 2 years older)!
I wouldn't leave them on their own at there age now (1) because Its way too young (2) I don't trust them (3) I would fear something happened to them and (4) I would be paranoid I would have SS on my back! (which lets face it they most probably would here)
I wouldn't let them babysit their younger brother until they were at least 15/16 either. (Theres a 7 yr age gap between my youngest and eldest)
I would never forgive myself if something happened to them and as a parent its my responsibility to look after them at the end of the day!
Just my opinion.
x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I would never leave mine alone untill secondry school age :O

 

[happyfeet]

Depends off the child but 6 is very young. I wait until at least 10 years old

 

[carrieanne]

my oldest are 12 and 14 and i never leave them alone apart from the fact war would break out i dont think they are old enough xx

 

[number7onway]

hi my 12 year old girl (very mature) occasionally looks after my 2 year old while i nip down the school to pick up the others if she is off school poorly! im only gone half an hour and she has the phone and my number right next to her! i trust her fully with any of the kids but would not allow her to look after baby cos lo is too young! i would never allow her to be left on her own for longer than a couple of hours! she walks to the local shop and to the park, she always has her phone with her so can be checked on/can call me or other adult! i would NEVER leave my other children at home alone and they range from 10yo-10 weeks! also would NOT leave ANY of them overnight or even for a couple of hours in the evening! everyone has different ideas on it but thats my personal choice!

 

[pinkmummy]

I can't believe this thread is still going x