baby and oh parents/family

[passengerrach]

did having a baby make anyone else start to dislike their oh parents/family?

since having my son iv found them really pushy but not in an obvious way its little things like when he was only 5 days old they wanted me to take him round there when i really wasnt ready to go out and they expect us to go round to theirs at least twice a week and im starting to dread going there because from the moment we step in the door to the moment we leave i can not touch my son i feel selfish if i do they all look at me like u get him all the time let us have him while ur here but the last time we were there for 7 hours and to me thats a long time to not be able to hold my 2 week old son for i cant even have him back when he crys or wants his bottle or nappy changed everyone else wants to do it but i just want to comfort him yet i feel so selfish for feeling this way. i think im starting to hate them and i think they are starting to hate me too because at first we were going to give him my partners sir name but i changed my mind it had me in tears thinking about my son having a different sir name to me everytime i thought about it and it may seem trivial but to me it was a big deal so we decided to give him my sir name and ever since that i can tell they r really off with me. sorry this is so long i just needed to get it off my chest and wondered if anyone else feels/felt like this?

 

[fulltimemum]

hey hun my sons nana hates the fact that dainton has my surname .she even told me once that she found it disterbingthen i totally went off her couldnt stand the site if her and still cant xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[ColtonsMom]

I do, I hate his mother now.. and honestly HATE HER.

1.. she told me to go take the "morning after" pill after I got my
2.. she said she would never take him or watch him (which I wouldn't want anyway!) because we needed to "learn what its like" to have a baby and not have any freedom.
3.. she only came up to the hospital for 2-3 minutes when he was born.. actually she needed something from OH and instead of coming inside and getting a peek at her FIRST AND ONLY grandchild, she made OH go outside!!
4.. she refused to not smoke around him, which gave him bronchitis when he was 2 months old
5.. she didn't even come to his first birthday party, for no reason either.. she doesn't work (lives off her parents) and wasn't sick!

Oh.. I could go on..

 

[passengerrach]

i no fulltimemum its horrible isnt it.o god she sounds awful coltonsmom

 

[1st_baby]

I have that same problem , OH mom is always bosting how both her kids were perfect babies . never cried or made a fuss ..and then goes on to say how mine must take fater me as hes a pest lol well yes I will admit he takes from me and is hyper active but seeing how i was then it makes me a better parent as I will know how to deal with him later on ..

but tis gets annoying hearing that im not doing things right all the time ..I just say BAHHH to it all

 

[fulltimemum]

jave words with her hun it made me feel so mutch better telling her exaclty what i thoguth of her xxxxxxxxxx

 

[marley2580]

The way I see it hun is that he's YOUR child, if you want to hold him then do it, I'd just go over and take him back. It doesn't matter what they think, what matters is how you and your OH feel. I had real problems letting other people hold Kaya when she was little and in the end I just couldn't let people hold her. The one exception I made was the MIL because we live 400 miles away, but even then I could only let her hold her for 10-15 mins at a time - hormones are funny things, but they're great to blame if you don't want people holding your baby all the time.

 

[Serene123]

They told me I was trying to split Rich up from his family because I wouldn't go around there when she was 2 weeks old (it's 3 hours away) and she was really poorly.

I already disliked them though.

 

[missjess]

Don't get me started on the my husband's mom (his stepdad is alright, he just shut up and do whatever his wife tells him to do)

I first met her when I was pregnant, she was nice for the first day, until she started trying to control what I ate, what time I would have dinner and tell me I shouldn't snack so much. (She came over into MY house, and was telling me off?!) She's been a cow ever since. Trying to control everything and raise Josh. She's really annoying and I try really hard not to tell her to stfu. ahhh the joys of MIL's...

 

[charliebear]

Some of OH's family can really do my head in...

When LO was small they got a small hold..., they still dont get to hold him for too long. They have never fed him, that is our job and I just dont trust them enough.
They dont like it but hey-ho!!
They always stick their face's in his, even when he is asleep/just woke up or make enough noise to wake him...you'd think they had never seen a baby before!!
Never mind the comments about feeding him, putting things in his bottle.

OH has even said he wouldnt leave LO in their care!
Sorry I lost it a bit there!!

TBH I'd just do what you want to do...he's your and OH's son. It's up to you and OH what you name your son including surnames.

 

[leedsforever]

I cant stand OHs parents, they seperated a couple of years back and I know that if they were together they would be the best grandparents around, but apart they do not give a shit about Courtney.... and Im dredding in 4 weeks Im going to spain to see the MIL oooooh they make me angry

 

[lillysmum]

i had this majorly when lilly was little, it felt like they just wouldn't leave me alone and i ended up suffering with post partum depression to the point that it felt like i should just give up being her mum. my OH was so supportive though and basically told them to bog off and helped me get through it.

so i can totally empathise with you - if you ever want to rant and rave about it let me know and i'll pm you my msn addy, cause talking and getting it out really does help

 

[emma_27]

Yes i had this exact problem! She was fine until i got pregnant then she turned in to a complete arsehole. Saying when i was 35 weeks pregnant with Benn that hill climbing at 35 weeks was fine in summer heat (long story). Telling me i was moronic for wanting to buy everything brand new and she went out and bought a secondhand cot that i told her i didnt want and nor did ihave it either. Mil always tries to keep hold of Ellie even when shes crying and tries to make me feel bad for having her back when she needs me i just take her off her now i dont even say let me have her shes mine and im having her back end of lol. Im lucky and she lives 2 na half hours away id fall out with her if she lived closer! Maybe get OH to have a word with the in laws and get him to tell them how they make you feel might help.

 

[helen1234]

Yes i had this exact problem! She was fine until i got pregnant then she turned in to a complete arsehole. Saying when i was 35 weeks pregnant with Benn that hill climbing at 35 weeks was fine in summer heat (long story). Telling me i was moronic for wanting to buy everything brand new and she went out and bought a secondhand cot that i told her i didnt want and nor did ihave it either. Mil always tries to keep hold of Ellie even when shes crying and tries to make me feel bad for having her back when she needs me i just take her off her now i dont even say let me have her shes mine and im having her back end of lol. Im lucky and she lives 2 na half hours away id fall out with her if she lived closer! Maybe get OH to have a word with the in laws and get him to tell them how they make you feel might help.

thats exactly what my stupid mil does as well will sit there and sit there jigging him around on her knee while he screams, it broke my heart the first time i kept saying i'll have him she kept saying i am capable you know. well obviously your not capable he's going bright red.
as soon as she walks through the door the comments start. rooms too hot, too cold, he's hungry get me a bottle, he's got colic coming lol.
and then she goes on and on how he's spiting image of my oh lol and he's nothing like me lol.
just try and ride it out i dont rise to any of her comments or grace her with an answer ever, i go out the room i dont offer her to hold him and over my dead body will she ever ake him off anywhere until he can talk and tell me where he's been and what he's done.

she told me to wean him at 6 weeks even though he sleeps through as it never hurt her kids and has already been looking at rusks in asda, and if i ever need a break i can depend on her lol. i didnt have a baby to get break you silly bint.
unfortunatly hun you either get a cracker of a mil like my 1st daughters mama or a bitch like the one i have now.
xx

 

[Vickie]

I have had major problems with insecurities because of my in-laws and some things they did/said to me right after Hannah was born. Basically they questioned everything I did and made me feel like a horrible mother. Still to this day I get told she's not warm enough, she's not eating enough milk blah blah blah

 

[aidensxmomma]

I didn't have a problem with any of my OH's family until after Aiden was born.

My OH's mother has told me multiple times that she's threw a fit when she found out Aiden had my last name and telling me that this baby better have his. I haven't got the heart to tell her that that's probably not going to happen unless me and my OH get engaged by then. And now she's got OH's dad in on it too.

I can't even count the number of times OH's family has done those little things that get under my skin. I'm scared to see what its gonna be like when the second one comes around.

 

[Chel]

I had a bit of a sheepish moment with my inlaws when they asked who's surname Jasper got. My OH changed his surname legally about 5 years ago, and there was a very brief discussion about surnames, and we decided to go with my OH's new surname (his previous surname was a very long, very difficult to pronounce arabic name, so he changed it to something simplier and less difficult)

When I told them they were both really upset, but fortunately my OH was in the room and the commence yelling at one another in arabic, so I scooped up Jasper and tip toed out of the room unnoticed.... I actually appreciate that they always argue in arabic, so that way I never feel like I'm apart of the arguement. Jasper and I just went and hid out in our bedroom for a while - pretty much until his parents left... I claimed to be breastfeeing! But really I was just having cuddles and reading a book, binding my time! They probably think Jasper is SOOOOO well fed, considering how often I sneak away to 'feed' him when they're around!

I've said it a few times, I REALLY dont like my inlaws, either of them, my MIL is more in your face annoying, but my FIL is the mean one. Its been amplified since having Jasper, but I didn't particularly like them before having him really.

 

[lillysmum]

Just thought of a funny story from when my little girl was a baby regarding the in laws (well it wasnt funny at the time) but OH's mother kept going on about "what happens to Lilly if anything were to happen to Debbie" - basically thinking that because me and OH aren't married he'd have no rights and we should get married etc.....

....hilarious thing is because OH is named as the father on the birth certificate - he has just as much rights!!

 

[princess_bump]

well tbh since maddi's been born and during my pregnancy OH's family hasn't really bothered with maddi, and us with them, its a very long story, but james works for them, they're horrid to him and they have never liked me! they're kinda stuck up! they have seen maddi a handful of times, they've been nice enough, but i felt a bit like she wasn't mine, which i didn't like, thus since september they have have seen her once, at xmas!!

i would love nice in-laws, but sadly if they treat my husband and father of my daughter like crap, i'm not exactly gonna want to be bestest buddys

anyhow - back to the original post - i would say nip it in the bud straight away sweetie, your baby, your rules!! at the end of the day, your LO is just born, i would say stick to your guns and YOU set the rules x

 

[Mrs_Nesbit]

Oh yeah..When you see them it's all immediately *maul the baby/comment he's too hot/too cold/disturb his sleep/pick him up a rock him how he hates to be rocked/complain he's colicky when he's now just pissed off and starving yadda. yadda* I just dont have much to do with them these days, it's easier than having my sanity suffer.

Mind you OH persuaded me to leave him with them for a couple of hours while we went to a 90 yr olds 40's themed birthday party the other week. When we got back they both looked frazzled, que complaining about him crying constantly through colick. You can guess what happened the second I picked him up..lol. Pissed them right off I forced myself to bite my tongue when i realised they'd kept rewarming THE SAME FEED he hadnt finished and got home to discover they'd put the poor little guys nappy on backwards.