Baby Boy Name Dilemma - What would you do?

[xZoeyx]

Okay so I posted a poll here before explaining I had a choice of two names, these were Jacob or Zachary. These are the ONLY 2 names OH and I like, we have been through pretty much every other possibility on planet earth and beyond even!

Now we had a dilemma with each name..

Zachary's Dilemma: Long name, although can be shortened to Zach, we couldn't find a happy medium that sound cute and catchy and although we both like the name we don't LOVE it (although I am sure this would change if we used it!)

Jacob's Dilemma: My ''best friend'' has a son called Jake, who is my godson, (by birth certificate as Jake not Jacob), and although I don't really see her anymore, hence the ''best friend'', we felt it would be a bit weird because she calls him Jake/Jakey, and this is what I would imagine we would call our LO as nicknames etc..

So anyway we picked Zachary, but then changed our minds and we decided to settle for Jacob because its definitely the one we prefer of the 2, and we decided it wouldn't really matter about the ''best friend'' because I very rarely talk to her anymore and see her probably once every few months..

HOWEVER....As of the other day, I started talking to her again, I went to see my god daughter for the first time in months (she has a son and a daughter but doesn't have permanent residency of the son Jake), and I decided I really need to start seeing them more because I love my godchildren to bits and I do miss my best friend...

So I ran the name past her and said how would she feel? And she replied with

''I would be a bit annoyed if it was Jake but Jacob is ok''

And I replied with, but obviously you realise I probably will shorten it too Jake and won't always say Jacob?

And got no reply..

So now I don't want to use Jacob but I am so settled on Jacob

What would you do?

 

[JJKCB]

as the mother of a Jake I will tell you now Jacob is a very different name...

It wouldn't bother me if a close friend used Jacob as that is not my child's name

personally I would never use Jacob because I dont like the feel of the name (never crossed my mind) but my son was always going to be Jake

they are even listed separately as names Jacob is 5th in popularity, Jake is only 33rd rank according to the chart I just looked at

Ive actually never known a Jacob go by Jake though, why bother?

 

[xZoeyx]

I understand your comment, JJ. However I find the opposite, I don't think I actually known anyone that wouldn't automatically use Jake as a shorter version of Jacob. Although listed as different names - because they are different, Jake is very commonly and widely used as a nickname for Jacob..

I understand your post but not sure what the relevance is too my original question, I am not too interested in the ins and outs of the name itself, rather just the opinion on whether I am possibly being a little selfish using a name that I have stated will probably be shortened to Jake or Jakey as a nickname, when that is BF's little boys name.

Sorry if my post sounds rude, don't mean it too be.

 

[xZoeyx]

as the mother of a Jake I will tell you now Jacob is a very different name...

It wouldn't bother me if a close friend used Jacob as that is not my child's name

personally I would never use Jacob because I dont like the feel of the name (never crossed my mind) but my son was always going to be Jake

they are even listed separately as names Jacob is 5th in popularity, Jake is only 33rd rank according to the chart I just looked at

Ive actually never known a Jacob go by Jake though, why bother?

Edit - my link that I originally posted here isn't a very good source so have scrapped it!

 

[Hevalouaddict]

My friend has a Jacob who we call jakey. Never call him just jacob

 

[Moolia]

I would personally choose the name that you want your child to have, to grow up with and to have for the rest of his life. If this happens to be similar to a friends child, then so be it. I wouldn't choose Zachary if you are not as keen because you will probably regret it and it is off course a very important decision!
Your friend said she didn't mind and if you end up calling him Jake for short I don't think that's a big deal. I would personally be quite pleased if a friend called her child the same as my child - I would take it as a complement! In my mum's antenatal group there ended up being 3 babies out of 6 called Claire! Don't think any of them minded at all!!

 

[xZoeyx]

Thanks girls.

This is the thing Moolia, I am totally in love with Jacob now, whereas not so in love with Zachary, I like it and it would be my second choice but not my first. And more importantly I am pretty sure OH loves it (hes one of those that is showing no interest in the pregnancy but I can read him well!).

I think deep down I will stick with it but if enough people said to me that I am probably making the wrong decision then I guess I would have to rethink with it as I don't know what I would regret more!

 

[Sunnie1984]

Stick with it.

You may actually not call him Jake at all, and even if you do, you won't see them all the time.

 

[wannabemomy37]

The way I see it Jacob/Jake is an extremely common name so there's no doubt you're going to run across more than one in the future, ya know? So from your friend's point of view how could she be mad if she chose such a popular name? It's not like it's a name like, I dunno, Dasher, which I would think to be more unique/uncommon.

Does that make sense?

If you love Jacob/Jake then I wouldn't let anything stop me.

 

[xZoeyx]

The way I see it Jacob/Jake is an extremely common name so there's no doubt you're going to run across more than one in the future, ya know? So from your friend's point of view how could she be mad if she chose such a popular name? It's not like it's a name like, I dunno, Dasher, which I would think to be more unique/uncommon.

Does that make sense?

If you love Jacob/Jake then I wouldn't let anything stop me.

Yeah I completely get what you mean, and I agree, it is a very common, and the thing is she said the same about my girls name which I have had picked for years (Isabelle Rose), she said No I can't call my little girl Bella for short as her son Jake was supposed to be a girl and called Bella, and I knew straight away there was NO way she was stopping me using my girls name because its 110% the name I want and have wanted for years!! So why am I so bothered about Jake/Jacob? I should be just as headstrong and say theres no way she is telling me what I can and can't have but I guess it's just one of those things!

 

[Butterball Ma]

Do you like Jacobi/ Jacoby? The nn could be Coby, which is different enough to not cause any problems. I like Jacob, but love Jacobi. Just a suggestion that might alleviate the problem? Good luck!

 

[JJKCB]

my point is why call him by a different name... Jake isn't really a nickname anymore same way Jack isn't a nickname of John anymore but its own name, if you want a Jake then have a Jake not a Jacob its not like Jake is one of these 'ie' cutesy nickname names that wont age

the only Jacobs Ive met where all called Jacob and the Jake's where actually called Jake - never met a Jake where it was a nickname because most people pick the name there actually going to use for the child

 

[liz1985]

I know a few jacobs and they all get jake or jakey, so it is definitely a common knickname for jacob. I personally wouldn't use jacob if a close friend had jake, there too similar in my opinion. I always liked luke or luca for a boy but my sister has lucas so I wouldnt use either, even tho they are different names. I suppose you have to decide how much it bothers you that your friend wouldn't like it? If your not that bothered id go with it if its the name you love. If it would bother you id try a new name or you might regret using it.

 

[xZoeyx]

my point is why call him by a different name... Jake isn't really a nickname anymore same way Jack isn't a nickname of John anymore but its own name, if you want a Jake then have a Jake not a Jacob its not like Jake is one of these 'ie' cutesy nickname names that wont age

the only Jacobs Ive met where all called Jacob and the Jake's where actually called Jake - never met a Jake where it was a nickname because most people pick the name there actually going to use for the child

I guess with this one we will have to agree to disagree.
On quite a few websites, it refers to Jake as a shorter version of Jacob or a NN.
And what you are suggesting is that everyone should call their child by the full length name they choose at birth and not a nickname, which makes no sense.

I like Jacob, and as a full length name I think it is great, but I would like to be able to shorten it for a nickname, especially for as he grows older, so Jake will be the nn.

Butterball - Jacobi is cute but not my cup of tea, thats only personal opinion though! Although the nn Coby is cute

 

[xjesx]

Even though people choose to name their child with the shortened version or nickname of an original name in no way changes that Jake is a nn for Jacob.

They can be two separate names or a nickname. People can be named Anna or Annabelle. Doesn't change that Ann or Anna is a short form/nickname of Annabelle.

Anyways....to the point of your post....friends come and go but you have to live with your name choice despite who you are meeting up for coffee with or going to the movies with.

As our kids get older they start enrolling in different activities, meeting new kids, and kids that have the same name. Those parents because they see each other start to form a friendship and then they have "my Jake" and "your Jake".

Use it.

 

[Cheska]

I think you should and voted you should use it!!

As another alternative you could call your lo Zach rather than zachery

 

[Mummymoo_x]

Yes I'd still use the name, sounds like you've pretty much chosen Jacob & its a nice name. I just prefer Zachary (probably because it was on my shortlist of names) x

 

[RubyRainbows]

Well since you are looking for opinions, I will be honest. I think it's ridiculous for best friends to have children with the same name. I feel bad saying that bc I know you love it, and I know you are prob hoping to get lots of supportive ppl telling you that it's ok to use it. But - all Jacobs I know have the nn Jake. So, bottom line is you & your best friend will both have sons named Jake. And it will always seem like you "copied" her. And she will prob complain behind your back about it, and her friends and family will all agree with her. Who needs that sort of negativity?!

There are a billion names out there!! I'm sure you can find a different name you LOVE.

I love the name Emersyn for a girl, nn. Emmy. But a distant relative has an Emily and they "sometimes" call her Emmy - so OH said I couldn't use it! I was disappointed but quickly moved on. Also, I was planning to use the middle name Tyler for my son and then 3 months before he was born, my cousin gave her son the middle name Tyler. I was annoyed - but I had to find a diff middle name.

I'm sorry - Just my honest opinion!

 

[cherrylips100]

If you don't love Zachary don't use it, you don't want to settle for something only to regret it later.As for the Jake / Jacob dilemma, its totally up to you but from experience, all the Jacobs I know get called Jake and all the Jakes get Jakey!

 

[xZoeyx]

Well since you are looking for opinions, I will be honest. I think it's ridiculous for best friends to have children with the same name. I feel bad saying that bc I know you love it, and I know you are prob hoping to get lots of supportive ppl telling you that it's ok to use it. But - all Jacobs I know have the nn Jake. So, bottom line is you & your best friend will both have sons named Jake. And it will always seem like you "copied" her. And she will prob complain behind your back about it, and her friends and family will all agree with her. Who needs that sort of negativity?!

There are a billion names out there!! I'm sure you can find a different name you LOVE.

I love the name Emersyn for a girl, nn. Emmy. But a distant relative has an Emily and they "sometimes" call her Emmy - so OH said I couldn't use it! I was disappointed but quickly moved on. Also, I was planning to use the middle name Tyler for my son and then 3 months before he was born, my cousin gave her son the middle name Tyler. I was annoyed - but I had to find a diff middle name.

I'm sorry - Just my honest opinion!

I totally understand where your coming but that's just it, we started looking for a name before we even started TTC cos we knew we would struggle to agree on a name and there is NOTHING else we agree on apart from Jacob/Jake and Zachary.

Too settle this we have decided to stick with it. At the end of the day there are millions of Jakes/Jacobs out there and who is to say I'll always be friends with her, life May take us on completely different paths.

I guess it's just one of those things!