Baby cries when put down

[Starlight32]

I love cuddling with my baby but she cries whenever I put her down unless she is in a very very deep sleep on me and I put her in the crib or bassinet. I have to hold her constantly and/or walk around with her. I'm not able to eat!

She is 9 days old. Would a swing of bouncer be a good option to put her in while I eat, use the bathroom, or just need a short break? I don't know much about either but really looking for some guidance.

 

[KylasBaby]

That sounds pretty typical for a newborn. Do you have a carrier? That's a good way to strap them to you and still be able to do things around the house. You could try a swing or a bouncer. There's no saying if they would or wouldn't work as every baby is different. I had to hold mine pretty much constantly the first couple months. Have you read about the third trimester? Might be a good read to understand what's going on from their point of view.

Other than that - enjoy the snuggles! They grow so fast.

 

[MindUtopia]

Completely normal. If you can imagine, in the animal kingdom, baby animals are rarely out of physical contact with their mothers until they get old enough to be self sufficient, so crying is a survival mechanism. Also, as much physical contact as they can have with you is ideal for neural development, especially in the first month. So it's completely natural to need to always be in your arms.

A wrap helped tremendously. I could have my hands free to make food, eat, use the toilet, read, get things done around the house while my daughter was content. You may also find that a bouncer works too. It wasn't as effective as the wrap and probably not until closer to maybe 6 weeks, but then I could put her down for periods of time in the bouncer while I pumped for instance.

This is a really helpful article: https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2012...your-newborn-baby-is-only-happy-in-your-arms/

 

[Starlight32]

Thanks so much! We have a carrier that I'm excited to use after I recover more from the c section. I have a hard time carrying her because of the pain . I love her so much and definitely not saying I don't want cuddles. I think I'm just feeling overwhelmed because I hate hearing her cry whenever I have to put her down for a few minutes.

 

[KylasBaby]

Does she have a daddy around? I'm sure he could hold her so you could use the bathroom or shower or even sit in a nice quiet room by yourself for 5 minutes. To this day when DD is sleeping I prefer to sit in the quiet rather that watch tv haha. It definitely is overwhelming in the beginning. I had to hold DD so much no one else could touch me or I started crying. It was so much to be in contact 24/7.

If you have friends with seats and bouncers, etc it might be easier to borrow one to try before buying your own. They can be pricey and baby may not like them.

 

[Starlight32]

Well we decided against the swing or bouncer idea because the ones we looked at just didn't look safe. The carrier might work after I'm healed. I just feel so overwhelmed. My husband is going back to work Monday and I don't know how I'm going to eat or use the bathroom. She screams the second she's out down and I feel like I must be doing something wrong for her to cry so frequently.

 

[KylasBaby]

Is she very gassy? Does she arch her back during or after feeds? Does she spit up a lot?
Could be a newborn thing or there could be a bigger issue.

 

[penelopejones]

My baby boy was/is like this! I wore him in a wrap for the first 2 months almost constantly and slept with him on me all night. He will be 3 months next week and it is just in the past couple of weeks that I've been able to put him down for longer than 5 minutes (and it is still not all the time). I've gotten him to sleep on his own, finally, by putting him on his tummy in his bassinet. For us, it was reflux that was bothering him, and getting that under control has helped a lot. It is tough to go through this but remember that it won't be forever, and check into other possibilities if you think that may be a factor.

 

[minties]

What was unsafe about the swings and bouncers?

With my son he would only sleep off my chest if I swaddled him, had white noise and rocked his bouncer with my foot for a good 20 minutes.

 

[noon_child]

Well we decided against the swing or bouncer idea because the ones we looked at just didn't look safe. The carrier might work after I'm healed. I just feel so overwhelmed. My husband is going back to work Monday and I don't know how I'm going to eat or use the bathroom. She screams the second she's out down and I feel like I must be doing something wrong for her to cry so frequently.

Can you get your husband to prepare you a one handed lunch before he goes to work? Like a couple of sandwiches, cheese spread on crackers, veg croutons. Maybe bring you breakfast in bed too (or wherever you are at that time, maybe up feeding LO). You've gone through a lot, and while you care for LO he can be caring for you.

 

[Bevziibubble]

That is totally normal for a newborn. My son loved his swing and would go to sleep quickly in it. Also a wrap or carrier can be good if your baby needs holding while you do housework

 

[Bekah78]

Do you stay near the crib when you put her down? I was in hospital for two weeks after my DS was born. I noticed if I settled him and put him down to sleep he would cry until I picked him up again but if one of the nurses did he would be fine. I asked what I was doing wrong and why he would wake and cry. They suggested that I put him in his crib and then step away quickly because he could sense me there and would rather be held. Didn't work every time but it did for the majority of times. Might be worth a try.

 

[Brienne]

It's typical! I wouldn't eat until OH got back from work, sometimes I was so hungry I felt faint! Everything changed when I started using a sling, I'd even go to the toilet with it!!