Baby now or Baby in 4 years HELP

[VictoriaElaur]

I dont know if this is the correct place for this but:
My husband and I are considering having a baby. We feel ready (although were terrified).
Our dilemma is as follows:

We both work full time but I would like to give up my job and go back to university full time, which for the course I want to do equates to about 2 days at Uni.
If I start my course in September it means we will have to wait 3 years till we can get pregnant all in all it may be another 4 years till we have a baby. (I will be 29 and my Husband will be 34)

Here are our options:

Option 1: Have a baby now, get maternity pay from work for 6 months and start Uni next year when baby is 6 months old.
Option 2: Go to uni now wait 4 years (3 year course + 9 months for baby ect) to have a baby when I’m self employed.
Option 3: Have a Baby now give up work and be a full time mum/wife.

I know that no one can give us the answer but some advice from women-in-the-know would really help!

xXx

 

[greeneyes27]

Hi honey,

Hope you don't mind me butting in from the first trimester board but.... I am 6 weeks pregnant, I'm 27 and it all came as a bit of a surprise! I have a great job which I'd planned to progress within over the next few years and get promoted etc.. so as you can see, this has thrown a bit of a spanner in the works. That said, I did feel ready to have a baby and it was on my mind a lot. I don't think there is ever the perfect time to have a child, you could leave it and plan it but things might not end up working out the way you expect.

If you want to have a baby, you feel ready and you know you wouldn't be putting yourself at risk too much financially then you might as well go ahead and try in my humble opionion... well at least, not try but just not be too careful ;-) Leave it to the good old hands of fate!

Whatever happens you'll be absolutely fine and you'll cope. I am going to have a year off work and then go back hopefully 4 days a week. It will be a struggle and definitely wasn't what I'd planned but I'm cautiously happy... you would be too...

Wishing you lots of luck whatever you decide

xxxx

 

[Damita]

Personally I would go with what you are happy with, I would go with option 1, but that's just me I am nearly in my last year at uni and that's when I plan to be pregnant (fingers crossed) but each to their own

 

[Amygdala]

I think option 1 sounds sensible. Gives you mat pay and time with little one and two days in uni next year should be managable. I wouldn't put it off until after uni in your situation and I'm guessing if you do, you might change your mind and go for it anyway in a year or so. So why not take mat pay while you're entitled? Uni can always be fitted around baby I think. All this provided you can live comfortably off your husband's money of course..

 

[Gille01]

I would go with option number one as well. It gives you a chance to try for a baby right now, a good maternity leave and then uni afterwards. If you're completely desperate for uni then you can start and wait for the baby but if you feel that it can wait, go with number one.

 

[Dopeyjopey]

Hi there

I'm crashing from 3rd Tri...

I would go for option 1. There are plenty of people that do uni courses with babies. Will also give you a break for a few days, which you might find you really could do with after looking after a baby full time!

 

[petitpas]

Lol, the only problem with option 1 is timing: How do you know that you will fall pregnant at the right time to have a baby in March (giving you a six-month-old for uni start in September)?

Still, I think that financially having the maternity benefit from work would be helpful.

 

[bethneebabe]

I am so jealous of everyone who gets 6 months maternity leave. In the US we only get 12 weeks un-paid/short term disability. And I still want a baby. I must be crazy.

 

[MummyGooch]

I would go with whatever you want to do most. None of those options are the wrong ones.
We decided to have our second and I am now taking a break from university. I don't know how long for yet and may yet decide to stay at home for 2 years (thats what OH is pushing for lol).

 

[dj's_wife]

I wanna go back to school to but I won't go until we've had our first child. first because I'm not willing to wait until after to start a family, and second because I'd hate to spend years going to school only to find out that I wanna be a sahm.

so for me I guess I'd suggest option 1

 

[VictoriaElaur]

I cannot thank you enough taking the time out to reply to my post. I don’t have many women friends as mine are mainly men and are useless at these situations. So your advice is vital.

I'm very much leaning towards option 1 I'm excited about having a baby but I'm absolutly terrified. I over think far too much....

Anyway i'm really enjoying hearing your comments, Thank you again and lots of love xxxx

 

[xsophiexleax]

If it were me I'd go with option one.. there's always ways to fit a baby around university and 4 years is a really long time to wait and I'd hate to think about a year down the line you'd regret not starting a family sooner iykwim
Good luck with whatever you decide, keep us posted! x

 

[petitpas]

Victoria,
Don't worry about it too much! You'll have a great time at university either way.
Baby making can't always be planned to the month or even year so just go ahead and register for university and then see where fate takes you

Whatever happens, I am sure you will be able to work it out wonderfully!

Take care,
Pip

 

[VictoriaElaur]

We went with option 1, Thank you all so so much for all your support.
Your advice was vital in this decision.

I'm off to 2WW......... wish me luck

MUCH LOVE Victoria xXx

 

[xsophiexleax]

Ahhh that's great good luck! Hope you get your bfp soon x

 

[VictoriaElaur]

Thank you, hope to see you in TTC soon (when your ready) xxxxxxx

 

[xsophiexleax]

It'll be years yet but thank you! x

 

[Amygdala]

Wow, that was some quick decision making, well done!!! I'll keep all my fingers crossed for a speedy and a happy and healthy nine months for you!

 

[Katie Mc]

Isn't maternity 9 months in the uk now, thats what I had anyway, anything over is unpaid leave. I'm ttc from august and having a yr break before starting uni. Starting 2nd yr of college in September so hopefully will be pregnant through some of 2nd yr and then full yr off.

 

[amy_2]

I say defnitely have a baby now! Don't wait till you finish your degree. You never know how long it may take to finish it anyway. Don't put off childbearing. If you want a baby, have one.
I am at university now and often wish I had never started my degree. What was a 3 year degree dragged out over 4 years, due to overall lack of motivation, taking time off from uni to travel and work. It is a big mess of assignments and stress. For me uni has been lots of hard work, and I only think someone should embark on university if they are 100% passionate and dedicated to what they are studying, otherwise it is a huge waste of time and money. I just went to university because I thought it was the "responsible" thing to do when I finished school. There is nothing wrong with low wage jobs, retail/trades etc are honorable professions. Money doesn't buy hapiness.