Baby upset - you upset!

Discussion in 'Postnatal Support' started by Wobbles, Dec 22, 2007.

  1. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    My HV thought I was depressed the other day - I could feel her glare - it was making me uncomfy lol then I realised why with what she said next. Couple of things had got to us that day out of our control as well as the norm tired with new baby routine etc so I was like nope thats all thats wrong. I said to OH and he said "I think so too" then said maybe the better word was down and that when bubs is upset I stress feeling helpless and hes right. The day before I think it was I ended up emotional sitting on our bed crying & feeling so hopeless just because she was having a crying hour (seems to have one a day). Im not feeling anything but love for her Im not pulling my hair out or stressing in a negative way towards her but I do find myself emotional and useless and hold back my tears!

    She has an ikky tummy today - she defo does lots of noises, crabby, looks uncomfy and a bad nappy! Tonight I had plans to relax OH was taking over bless whist I had a little drink a chat online a lie in and not worry about any of it basically and I couldn't relax coz she couldn't and ended up going over asking if I can hold her :( and again felt so teary!

    Is it just me? Is this normal? I feel so low when shes upset and stuff!
     
  2. Suz

    Suz ~ I are a Nerd ~

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    :hugs: Awe Hunni....I know Im not a Mom Yet...But being a woman who wants to be a mom I think I can totally understand your feelings. It has to be normal. Caitlin is still so young and she cant tell you what is wrong with her. And you are felling that because you are Mama, you are supose to just know what is wrong and protect her from that. But you dont know what is wrong and that is hard for you to comprehend. (sp) that has to be normal. Give it time, and when your baby is felling Ikky you will learn her and she will start to be able to tell you how you can help. You wont always feel like you are a helpless mom. And right know please find comfort in knowing that Caitlin is learning that when she feels Ukky, Mama is there to comfort her. :hugs: Big hugs for you and for little Miss Caitling....I really hope she starts feeling better soon. :hugs:
     
  3. Arcanegirl

    Arcanegirl Bazinga!!

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    Catn add anything more to what Suz has already said :hugs:
     
  4. ablaze

    ablaze lucky mum of one of each!

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    totally normal hun :hugs:

    very frustrating when babies are too little to tell you exactly what they want,

    even harder to cope with!!!!

    it will get better though hun xxx
     
  5. mickey

    mickey Well-Known Member

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    Wobbles, maybe it's just the baby blues.

    this comes when the hormon level from the pregnancy suddenly drops and will settle by itself again.

    I was in tears for one and a half days!
     
  6. marley2580

    marley2580 Well-Known Member

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    I've been like this as well. It's just nature's way of making sure that the baby will survive. You have an instinct to make sure that your baby is ok, and it's upsetting if you can't fix things for them.
     
  7. sweetsammi

    sweetsammi 1st time mummy and WTT

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    I feel exactly the same. It must be normal..its such a challenging time. Your life has been turned upside down and its so much to take in at once! As a mother i think we feel so many emotions towards our kids it can get very overwhelming at times. Your baby is a part of you..when she is upset or huting you feel it also. Caitlin is only very young and your bound to worry and feel protective of her. I know i feel useless when Oliver cries and i do not know what to do for him. You can only do your best babe. I do know how you feel. xx
     
  8. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    Thanks girls :hugs:

    OH is really good when shes like that as far as making sure her & me are ok so I don't get in a tizzy or nothing which I can imagine to be quite possible if it was just her & me.
     
  9. Tilly

    Tilly Guest

    You have gone through so many changes really quickly, your life really does change over night.. it just takes some time to settle into your new routine. I know exactly how you feel! I even get it now, Bethanie is ill and I feel helpless and it gets me down so much.

    It will pass and you will soon feel more confident, it's hard when they're so young too! You're doing great with a baby only a few weeks old!
     
  10. KX

    KX Well-Known Member

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    aww hun well done to you for keeping ur cool :hugs:

    Rebecca was a shocker of a sleeper and when she screamed for hours on end I used to be climbing walls etc, and get aggetated (sp) bad I know, but I like to think Im a better mum htis time round.

    When ur getting upset get OH to pace the room with her, and you go get a cup of tea or something. wont be long and she will have u wrapped round her little finger (if not already!)xxxx
     
  11. Tilly

    Tilly Guest

    Im not blaming the OH's but sometimes they can't understand, especially if working full time and getting some break from the baby and not being stuck inside with "goo goo gaa gaa" as conversation lol. If you're with a screaming baby 24/7 it can be very stressful and you get so angry and stressed (obviously not at your baby, but in general). A lot seems to be expected of the mum as well and sometimes (well I have felt like this, don't know about anyone else) you just want to storm out the house and go do something on your own for a while.

    You said your OH is good though Wobbles, and mine is too.. very supportive and tries his hardest even when he is tired from being at work all day. I couldn't imagine being a single mum, it must be so hard.. my mum brought 2 of us up with nothing and it's only since having my own baby that I can really understand how hard it must have been and appreciate what shes done for me!
     
  12. Jamie

    Jamie Well-Known Member

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    aww *hugs* i'm sorry caitlin isnt feeling well! have you tried some gripe water for her tummy? I've heard it works really well for gas etc!

    I wouldnt worry too much about being down- its hard as a mommy to see your baby in pain or not feeling well! Even now- Jack is a year old- and i still feel sad and worried and down when he is sick! He has a cold right now and i look at him and just want to cry bc i feel so bad for him bc he cant breathe out of his nose, its stuffy and hes coughing :(

    I hope she feels better real soon!

    ** Oh and i agree Tilly - there have been MANY times when Jack is just crying full on (moreso lately, before he got sick) and id love to hand him over to someone and just go out and do whatever! Being a mommy is tough work!**
     
  13. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    Shes too young for gripe water :(

    an thanks girls your words mean alot :hugs:
     
  14. shamrockgirl4

    shamrockgirl4 mom of 4

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    hi wobbles hope ur feeling better today and baby too i know is hard to say try not to get too stressed coz baby can sense stress and may cry more which sometimes makes it easier for somebody else to calm her but then that makes u think why cant i do that and u may end up feeling a bit low its understandable and u have a very supportive oh im sure u be ok hun xx
     
  15. Mynxie

    Mynxie Well-Known Member

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    Wobbs sweetie, it just shows how very much you love your Caitlin, that you're upset when she is. It's natural to feel frustrated and upset when you can't do anything for her, cause she's your baby and you love her so very much, you want her to be happy, you hate it when she's upset - it's a mothers love sweetheart

    Really hope Caitlin is feeling better today x
     
  16. Imi

    Imi .

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    Try a little boiled water .... may settle her hun ...

    totally understand where your coming from it's upsetting when your baby is crying and you wonder why!!

    Hope she is feeling ok, your a wonderful mum darlin ....

    xxx
     

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