Baby won't breastfeed and heartbroken :(

[cleo2408]

Hello,

I gave birth to my son 3 days ago afer a very traumatic emergency c-section and had my heart set on breast feeding him. Unfortunately he has other plans. As soon as he latches on and sucks twice he falls asleep. He seems to think boobs are pillows and are for comfort only. Whilst in hospital he was so hungry I was eventually persuaded to give him a bottle by a nurse who made it clear that I was a darn nuisence (and the only breast feeder on the ward). By this point I was so distressed I agreed panicing that he would starve to death. Distraught I have now bought a pump in the hope that when my milk comes in I will be able to feed him that but doubt he will ever accept my breast now he is taking bottles. I am pumping but as I am not producing milk yet nothing but a few small drops of colostrum are coming out. Will this mean my milk will never come in now? I am also doing lots of skin to skin in the hope I can encurage him but I am holding out hope for a lost cause and just accept that he will have to be bottle fed? Any advice greatly received.

 

[stephie_corin]

Don't be depressed! My son did not feed from me until he was a week old. We had to give him formula as he was in NICU and it was hospital policy. I kept pumping and on day 4 my milk came in. He was bottle fed up to day five or so, when I got the help of a lactation consultant and he latched on and fed. I gave up the bottles cold turkey. We had one night of screaming and crying but that was it! We have been successfully breastfeeding ever since. I think the sooner you stop giving bottles the better, although you may want to do it more gradually than me.

The fact he is latching is great. Keep offering the breast all the time and either stop with the bottles now (when he is hungry he will feed from you) or gradually decrease the number of bottles you give. I would always offer the breast first before giving a formula top up if you decide to make the switch gradually. For us though, it took less than 12 hours to make the switch happily! Good luck!!! X

 

[Rah]

Your milk can still come in with my 1st it was day 4into day 5
I would keep to the breast as much as poss latch on when he falls asleep change his bum mess with him anything to disturb him
Its still early days don't give up when you get checked out by the midwife get her to help you go to baby groups
I went to a sure start breast feeding group spent 2 hours and came away with so much info and tips I had no idea about

 

[misspriss]

My milk came in really slow after my C-section, I was having to pump exclusively to bring it in though. I didn't have "full" milk in until 7-10 days, which is not unheard of for c-sections. They were tube feeding LO though.

It is normal for new babies to fall asleep at the breast, I had to fight to keep my LO awake up until last week probably, but he was preemie. There are several things you can do:

- feed LO in only a diaper
- rub LO's back, play withtheir hands & feet, touch them a lot
- rub a cool wet washcloth on their feet
- do breast compressions (also helps baby get more milk)
- burp often and switch breasts

Pumping is not useless, I had to completely establish my supply with a pump. It was hospital grade though, which makes a difference. If you are having trouble with your pump, see if you can rent a hospital grade one, even for a couple weeks.

 

[kerrie24]

You can absolutely breastfeed,and dont let anyone tell you different!

Newborns are sleepy,and if he falls asleep feeding thats fine,he will either continue suckling while asleep or he will wake up hungry.
I know you were scared and got no help at the hospital but you really need to stop the bottles now.
Babies survive on stored energy and your colostrum for the first 3-5/6 days until your milk comes in (it WILL come in),and this colostrum is the stuff they call liquid gold,its the best thing he can have right now,even if its only 3 drops.

You are doing great with the skin to skin,but as baby is still so young,encourage him onto the breast at the same time.He will take it,its only been three days.It might just take a bit of perseverence,but its worth doing if you do want to breastfeed.
Google tips for latching him on,youtube have videos too.

Please comeback and ask for help if you need it.

I hate to think of a mother and baby missing out on breastfeeding because of not having anyone to help.Unfortunately you hear of it far too much these days,midwifes are so busy they just want you feeding and checked out!
Tell your midwife you want to breastfeed and ask for help.

 

[shambaby]

I agree with what the other ladies have said - persevere with latching him and hopefully he will start to feed from you. BUT if he doesn't and you are really determined to feed him breastmilk it is possible to exclusively express (there is a sticky thread at the top of the bf section). I did it for 7 months with my first, and would only recommend it as a last resort, as it really does take all your time, but it can be done and I'm glad I did it instead of resorting to formula. You really need a double pump, ideally hospital grade, which you can hire "I got a medela symphony from my local breaststart group, the nct also hire them out).

I only say this to give you a plan b, if it's something you want to do, I really would keep persevering as long as you can, especially if he's still latching. Your milk will come in - it does even if you never breastfeed - and hopefully that will kick start him into feeding from you.

Good luck x

 

[lemongrass]

Just keep trying! The more times he sucks the more it will help your milk come in. My newborn was really sleepy and I had to keep waking him up. I would blow on his face (gently!) or rub his neck and ears. It is completely natural for you to only produce colostrum at this stage, that stuff is all your baby needs! Their tummy is so tiny that with a proper latch it may not take your baby long to get all that it needs. Just keep the baby on the breast as frequently as possible. Call a lactation consultant too. Good luck!

 

[Mizzy]

please please please dont give up, i had to express for 3 weeks before lo would latch! we are now in week 4 of being purely breast fed. if its what you want then keep trying x

 

[TigerGalLE]

https://www.askdrsears.com/topics/breastfeeding/common-problems/techniques-waking-sleepy-baby

Please don’t give up. Follow these tips to wake up a sleep baby! That is the beauty of colostrum. They don’t need much!

 

[Elmo5]

Sounds like a poor hospital. I had similar issues but they would not discharge me till baby was feeding effectively from the breast. Did they check for tongue tie and also explain how to cup feed?

 

[summer rain]

I had similar with my eldest. There were only two women BF in the whole maternity unit when I was discharged and one of them was me. The staff were completely unsupportive of BF even the lactation consultant. I wasn't helped at all with feeding and my son was unwell, they forcibly discharged us even though I begged for help saying if BF isn't going well then just put him on formula. When we got home he couldn't latch at all and I expressed milk and gave it to him by bottle but he struggled to feed well from that too. A midwife came who was very supportive of BF and she went on to become the BF policy advisor for that NHS trust but by the time we got things ok (he still needed a lot of help latching) he had to be readmitted with very high bilirubin levels and a weight loss of 14%.

In the SCBU they told me not to bother BF and just 'let us feed him' I expressed quite a lot of milk in a short time on the only pump in the hospital though which made them think twice a bit, but they still insisted on pretty much switching him to formula and IV fluids for the next 4 days. When we were getting discharged he was rooting and I put him to my breast and he latched on by himself for the first time ever, I had to sit like a statue as he had a shallow latch and kept bobbing off but I managed to BF him from then on.

I did give him formula a couple of times a week thinking it would give me a break (it didn't as he had reflux and it would make it worse) but other than that I BF until he was seven months. We now know he had a very severe tongue tie and lip tie which in most cases if not snipped would result in not being able to BF at all so I am quite proud that we managed to go as long as we did. Good luck! Xx

 

[Janers]

Don't give up! I had an emergency c section and my LO went straight to the NICU, I didn't get to hold her for 6 hours, and even then she was hooked up to lots of monitors, and had just had her heart shocked to bring her heart rate down, and was extremely sleepy from that, and the drugs she was on. That being said we struggled to breastfeed, she was discharged after 7 days and it took 5 weeks for her too latch on, and it was 9.5 weeks before i was able to quite pumping and weaned her off bottles and onto the boob.

Keep it up, the hard work WILL pay off! I would strip my baby down to a diaper to try and wake her up long enough to eat. I also swear skin to skin contact made a world of difference, I would have her in her diaper against my bare chest, and we would cuddle, sleep on and off and it really helped. Breastfeeding is a learning experience for both you and baby, so take it one day at a time.

You can do it!

 

[jessicaR4bbit]

As the others have said do not give up! I had a traumatic 24 hour labour which resulted in an emergency c-section (man I thought I was going to die and I passed out on the operatimg table from sheer exhaustion). I didn't meet baby until 2 hours after delivery but I was lucky in that he latched pretty much straight away after some skin to skin. However he has always had a very shallow latch caused by a lip and tongue tie. My milk didn't come in until day 5 and my mature milk came in at day 7. I was the only women who was breastfeeding on the ward and I had no help at all. The midwives there gave me a bottle of formula becauase his blood sugar was reading low rather than trying to help me and I ended up feeding him a small amount (about 1oz) before realizig how dumb that was and just gettig on with it myself. He lost 11% of birthweight and had urine crystals for much of the first week. Just keep putting baby to breast, round the clock. Nappy only and tickle feet or whatever else works to encourage wake time feeding but know that babies do fall asleep on the breast often because it is natural. Wean him off the bottle gradually and seek help if you can. You can do it, it is so early yet x

 

[lemongrass]

I'm thinking about you- are things going any better?

 

[Smanderson]

Cleo i have had a similar experience with the traumatic emergency c section (really feel for you cos its a lot to cope with mentally and physically) and baby falling asleep at the boob, he has since gone on to scream every time i try to get him to latch on and i have had to resort to exclusively expressing.

However, i have continued to attend bf classes and they have detected tongue tie and we are in the process of getting a referral so im hoping things will improve from there. Also, the trauma from the birth becomes a little bit less each day

Im interested in how you get on and wanted to let you know your not alone and keep on trying

 

[pinksmarties]

I hope things have gotten better in the last couple of day. As the others have said please donlt give up. I had EMCS and it can take a little bit longer for your milk to come in. My LO was a poor feeder/latch and lost 12% of his birth weight. I expressed one breast and bfed him from the other then topped him up with the expressed using a cup NOT a bottle. I only had to do this for a couple of weeks and then we managed without expressing. He was also very sleepy as he was a bit jaundiced so I had to wake him, strip him off to keep him awake long enough to feed. It is hard at first but it does get better, hang in there.

 

[kerrie24]

Hope its going well x

 

[sevenofnine]

That's super normal! My LO would fall asleep within minutes of feeding as well. I was in the hospital for 4 days, and didn't have a c-section. My milk didn't start really coming in until I left the hospital.

I had to feed her in a diaper, and honestly it just took a little while before she would stay awake enough to feed longer!

 

[DaisyAnne]

We had to use a bottle a lot in the beginning as well, but now he is EBF. He had his last bottle at 7 weeks (he won't even take a bottle anymore). I think it was by day 3 or 4 he was exclusively formula fed for several days until we could get some things sorted out. We went from baby refusing to latch and screaming when you put him in the position to feed to feeding all day long no problems after seeing a lactation consultant (one that was recommended to me... I saw some in the hospital that were super unhelpful). We did continue to have more issues even after that, but just by sheer persistence of putting the baby to the breast over and over, the help of the lactation consultant, and the support of my husband...we made it and he had his last bottle at 7 weeks old. Breastfeeding is such a breeze now, but it did not start out that way- I think I thought about quitting every day for 6 weeks (and I wouldn't blame anyone for it if they decided to, either).
I say go with your gut (mommies know best), keep educating yourself, see a lactation consultant if in any way possible, and feel confident in whatever choices you make! Like my lactation consultant told me- the #1 rule of breastfeeding is to feed your baby, however you feed them-bottle or breast. And from my experience, feeding your baby a bottle does not necessarily mean you won't be able to exclusively breastfeed.

You're doing a great job taking care of your baby, keep going momma!