Bad birth experience with first, good with second?

[HopefulPony]

Hi ladies,

I'm not pregnant yet but we are TTC our second baby and I'm hoping for a better experience all round this time. With our son I had a 4 week stop-start slow labour because he couldn't quite get into position and ended up with induction at 40 weeks due to sudden high BP, slow progression, pre-e in labour, failed epidural and then spinal damage with the second epidural. The epidural wasn't my choice, it was part of the pre-e protocol. I pushed him out myself in the end but it was 45 hours of hell. He was posterior until the last minute as well. I really want a better birth next time, I want a water birth but I'll be high risk because of last time so that won't happen, but I'm wondering what my chances are of being able to do it without the stupid epidural and without being induced. Anybody had a more positive experience with their second baby?

 

[tristansmum]

First birth induced with obstetrics cholestasis, ok labour, pushed 2 hours, in brow presentation, forceps in theatre, distressed baby so emergency c section.

Second birth- spontaneous labour at 40+6, 2 hour first stage labour, 1 hour of pushing, just gas and air. Did have mild shoulder dystocia but it was fine.
So a much much better experience! All my friends who had bad/difficult births first time round had a nice or atleast nicer time with their second. X

 

[HopefulPony]

Thanks mama! That fills me with hope

 

[ClairAye]

First labor - 38 hours from waters breaking (which resulted in a bad infection and me being really ill afterwards also there was meconium), 37 hours of contractions, didn't dilate on my own so was induced with a pessary, pushed for 1hr 5mins and he was delivered via forceps with an episiotomy, missed an EMCS by the skin of my teeth. I had so much pain relief including an epidural and it was topped up.

Second labour - 9 hours of contractions, my waters went 20 minutes before she was born and I pushed her out on my own in 8 minutes. Pain relief I had a warm bath, TENS and some gas and air for about an hour.

My second was a breeze, I loved her labour so much!

 

[Mrsb3]

I had an awful truly awful experience with my lil boy. It was very traumatic and hurt like hell I thought I was going to die it was that bad. I couldn't bond with him or anything I was in that much shock I was projectile vomiting and shaking. Funnily enough though with my daughter who is just 12 months younger than her brother was a brilliant birth! I was 7cm dilated and barley felt any kind of pain. I didn't even have to push she just came out lol I'm serious I said to the midwife something feels funny down there and her head just popped out! You couldn't get any more opposite x

 

[DolceBella]

We have a saying where I work.... "First baby vaginal, Second baby beautiful!" I don't think there's any reason to think you won't have a better experience next time.

 

[Celesse]

DD1 was a cat 2 section for fetal tachicardia. DS was forceps for persistant OP, followed by a PPH. DD2 was a cat 1 section for severe sudden onset pre-pre-eclampsia and a an undiagnosed breech.

So I've 3 traumatic deliveries. But what I've found is that the overall birth experience isn't dictated by the hand your dealt and the labour "challenges" you end up with, but how well informed you were, how well you were treated, whether you felt in control or if control was taken away from you by medical practitioners, if you could have done anything differently.

Of all my births my third was the most complicated and to an on looked most traumatic. But it was probably by best birth experience because I was in complete control of the things that could be controlled. Nothing I could have done differently would have changed the outcome for better, only worse. And we still got pretty much everything for the back up c-section plan such as delayed clamping, immediate skin to skin ect.

 

[HopefulPony]

Thank you very much mamas I'm planning to have a doula next time to help me remain in control and not let the staff fob me off

 

[Bubble Girl]

With my first it was 27hrs of labour all up and I chose the epidural a after 15hrs because I had so much trouble handling the pain, I vomited every time I contracted and even though they kept giving me anti nausea shots I kept vomiting and was becoming very dehydrated and tired (the labour began 8pm so no sleep all night). Having the epidural helped so much with the pain but it stopped the contractions so they had to put me on the drip to start them again. By the end bub was tired and during the pushing stage he became distressed so they cut me and used vacuum to get him out ASAP! I was terrified I would have a similar experience second time around but ended up quite the opposite. Went into labour 6am and just went about my day with my toddler. I was jumping on the treadmill to speed up contractions and by the time I got to the hospital at 7pm I was 10cm and ready to push. No drugs at all. 1000x easier than first time around and I really enjoyed it.

 

[HopefulPony]

With my first it was 27hrs of labour all up and I chose the epidural a after 15hrs because I had so much trouble handling the pain, I vomited every time I contracted and even though they kept giving me anti nausea shots I kept vomiting and was becoming very dehydrated and tired (the labour began 8pm so no sleep all night). Having the epidural helped so much with the pain but it stopped the contractions so they had to put me on the drip to start them again. By the end bub was tired and during the pushing stage he became distressed so they cut me and used vacuum to get him out ASAP! I was terrified I would have a similar experience second time around but ended up quite the opposite. Went into labour 6am and just went about my day with my toddler. I was jumping on the treadmill to speed up contractions and by the time I got to the hospital at 7pm I was 10cm and ready to push. No drugs at all. 1000x easier than first time around and I really enjoyed it.

That's brilliant!!! Well done

 

[shinona]

Another positive story from me. Was in labour with ds for about 45 hours in total, pushed for over 3 hours, had gas and air, epidural and spinal block then ended up in theatre having him by foreceps with an episiotomy and avoiding a section by the skin of my teeth and thanks to a wonderful midwife who talked the doctor into giving me a chance with foreceps. I couldn't talk about it without crying for several months.

Dd was so different. Was in Labour for about 11 hours, contractions didn't get really sore until about 9 hours in, used my tens machine then had gas and air for about an hour. My waters went and she was born about 2mins later after 3pushes. It was so quick that the midwife wasn't ready for her. I was up and having a shower within half an hour. I did tear but was stitched up where I had her. So different, it was lovely!

 

[ajarvis]

Oldest was a HORRIBLE induction. Spent 30 hours in labour. Epidural didn't even take properly. One side little bit of pain. Other side lots. Threatened c-section etc.

Number 2. Water broke at home. Laboured at home for about 10 hours. Went to hospital and had baby in 5. Back labour, but epidural took that time and it was no problem

 

[susan_1981]

I definitely did. When I think back to having my first, I would never, ever want to go through that kind of pain again. Yet the day after I had him, I was already talking about baby number 2, but then that's because they are worth every second of pain.

With my first, it wasn't the longest labour compared to some. I think it was about 15/16 hours. But for this 15/16 hours, I had constant, really painful contractions. It was almost unbearable and I remember thinking that I couldn't do it, but I just didn't have a choice. I didn't have any pain relief. No epidural because there was no anaesthetist available and no pethidine because my son's heart rate kept slowing down and pethidine I think can slow it down as well. So I just had gas and air which did nothing for me, other than give me a dry mouth. My contractions, from the get go, were lasting about 40 seconds and were coming every minute. I was lucky if I got a minute in between. I found the whole thing really traumatic and beyond painful. I knew labour would be painful but nothing prepared me for that. I remember trying to reason with myself while I was going through it, thinking if it was that bad, surely I'd pass out or die(!) which I obviously didn't.

With my second, I would go back through that experience in a heartbeat. Again, I had no pain relief. I got up to go to the toilet at around midnight, then I just felt like I had a really bad stomach ache, but I really suffer with my bowels in pregnancy so I thought it was this. So that was the first hour. Then I started to realise the pains were coming every 3 minutes. Went to hospital and he was born within 30 minutes of being there. Don't get me wrong, it still hurt but nowhere near as bad as with my first. My labour was about 3.5 hours in total and for an hour of that, I thought I just had a stomach ache! I remember the afternoon before I went into labour sitting over the park, it was a really warm day and I was so excited because I just knew I was going to have my little boy that night. I was a week late, had a sweep and lost my plug that day so that's probably why I was so psychic!

I think the raspberry leaf tablets could have helped to speed my labour up as well so I definitely recommend them x

 

[Eleanor ace]

My 1st was large and back to back and got a bit stuck. He passed meconium and I had to be on my back for constant monitoring as we were both tachycardic. I didn't get much of a break between contractions, there was less pain in between but the pain was very much still there. It took 2 hours to push him out and I tore quite badly. I had a spinal afterwards in theatre and got some back pain for a few months after. It was still a good experience but there were things I hoped would be different with number 2.
Number 2 I was high risk due to DH's delivery and a heart condition. I was able to argue my case with the consultant to get a waterbirth and it was really really awesome. Labour was a bit longer (about 9 hours to DS's 6) but very manageable for the first 7cm or so, and in between contractions I wasn't in any pain . I stayed at home until cm, got in the pool and then only pushed for 14 minutes beofre she was born . She had mild shoulder dystosia but she arrived as I stood up to get out of the pool and it had no ill effect on her . I had tiny 1st and 2nd degree tears and didn't even get any stitches .