cheryl i dont know what to say i really dont - theres nothing that will make u feel better but at least you have ur other kids to help get you through and make u stronger. good luck for the future hun, will you try again? stay on here with us all and keep us posted..........we are still here for u!!!!! i was thinking about you all day on wednesday and when you didnt post on here my heart sank.i knew what had happened and i knew how u felt because i felt the same tuesday night. i was convinced he has gone but i got lucky - theres still a long was to go though and i wouldnt have been able to get through any of the last few weeks without all you lot.........take care, big hugs.....xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx