Bedtime bottle help

[AlwaysPraying]

I think we have a problem. My guy is 14 months and eats well, drinks water through the day. The issue is that he takes a 10 oz bottle at bedtime. He's supposed to be getting 16oz in an entire day, including cheese and yogurt. So I give him 5oz during the day in a cup, plus cheese and other dairy, so he's getting more than he should.

Fast forward to bedtime. He will not go to bed without a bottle. I've tried so many things to get him weaned off the bedtime bottle, but I think we got lazy somewhere and he learned to soothe himself to sleep with a bottle. He goes to bed perfectly during nap time, so I know it's just habit. Also, I give him his 10oz bottle an hour before bed and he still demands at least 4oz in bed or he looses his mind.

SO, ladies, what do I do? Do I have to break him of this? Part of me wants to let him continue, because he goes down so easily with a bottle. Without a bottle we've tried everything and he screams so hard. He's gone on for 20 mins before we gave in this week and he took a bottle and was out in minutes.

Help!

 

[hardworknmama]

IMO there are two ways to handle this. Number 1 is to just take the bottle cold turkey and let him CIO or do a modified version of CIO. Number 2 is to slowly cut back on the amount that's in the bottle. Start with giving 2 ounces less, then the next week take away another 2 ounces, and so on. Eventually there will be no more in the bottle and you can be done with it. Personally I think that by this time they should be off the bottle but I know other moms that are okay with letting the child decide when they are done with it.

 

[shortie1990]

Riley has 6/7 oz at bed time in a bottle, he's 16 months, and I haven't even considered taking it away from him, he doesn't understand, and why does he NEED to stop? There's no reason, he's happy, I'm happy, and I'm not gonna mess with that, especially when he won't understand why he's not allowed a bottle any more.

 

[QTPie]

DS had a bedtime bottle (although wouldn't fall asleep on it unless REALLY tired) until 20 months. He had 200ml (he also had the same first thing and after afternoon nap, in beakers, although the amount he actually drank/drinks varies...). We swapped the night time bottle fir a night time soft spouted beaker at 19 months NO PROBLEM!

So I don't think that you should sweat the timing or the exact amount of dairy in his diet (unless he is showing signs of getting really overweight). Do you give him the other milk feeds in bottles or beakers? If they are not in beakers/cups yet, then look at swapping those first....

 

[smelly07]

My youngest still has milk in the morning and at bedtime, i will let her cut it out herself, i have no problems with her having it at all.... she is the same as your LOL....she can fall asleep without her milk but still asks for it when its bedtime....she enjoys it and yes it probably is a comfort thing also........as my eldest daughter went off milk and ALL dairy products at 16 months old and getting calcium into her diet was a nightmare........i think im pretty easy going and loving the fact my youngest is still enjoying her milk.
so if i was you i would let him continue he is still young and he will eventually grow out of it. xxx

 

[AlwaysPraying]

His bedtime bottle is the only bottle he gets. The rest of the day he drinks milk and water out of sippy cups.

My real issue is his needing it to help him to sleep. When you guys say your kids had or have a bedtime bottle, does that mean giving it to them in their crib to hold themselves? I guess I'd even feel a little better if he at least drank it, gave it to me and then fell asleep. But he really enjoys drinking it alone and tossing it aside and sleeping.

There's all this scare mongering out there about teaching them to self soothe (which he can because he does it perfectly at nap time without a bottle). So I don't want him to only be able to sleep with a bottle and not know how to fall asleep without. I don't know if I'm splitting hairs, but does that make sense?

 

[QTPie]

No, I breastfeed until 11 months before switching to the bottle.

Before we moved (when LO was 9 months old), our living room and bedroom were on the 1st floor (the floor above the ground floor). So we kept the nursing chair in the living room and he slept in with us (in his own cot). From birth, I would always feed him in the living room (basically until he passed out ) and then we would carry him in the bedroom. When we moved, living room on the ground floor and DS went into his own room on the first floor. So we would still feed him in the lounge and then carry him up to bed. By this time he wasn't always asleep by the time we took him up and we would generally pat him on the back or hold his hand until he fell asleep. When we then swapped from breast to bottle, we just carried on feeding him downstairs in the nursing chair, carrying him upstairs and then staying with him until he fell asleep. So he has never had a bottle in the cot (he was always in our arms in the nursing chair).

Have you tried feeding him in a chair beforehand (right before bed) and then putting him in his cot? Try back patting or hand holding? Once you get him settling regularly like that (without the bottle), you can slowly (over time) move away from the cot and then out of the room - so he self-settles.

QT

 

[AlwaysPraying]

I think I'm ignoring my own instincts. We used to NEVER feed him in his crib. I'll be honest, I gave in when I found out my husband was doing it. He was starting to fight me giving him his bedtime bottle in the chair, but would only take it lying in bed, so I went with it. He is able to go to sleep without it IF one of us rocks him, or stays with him. I really think that I have to do this enough times so he disconnects the bottle. It's just hard because it's a solid half hour of soothing, rocking and crying before he'll sleep. Or, I can give him a bottle, read to him, sing him a song, and walk out to him sleeping in minutes.

That's where I bounce back and forth, why is it so wrong to let him drink it in bed if he'll give it up eventually anyways? We've worked so hard to go from bottle to cup, mushy food to solid, sleeping through the night, three naps to two to one nap. So much has happened this last year that I think I'm holding onto this one little piece of him being a sweet little baby. I know it's not this complicated. I just need to either cut it out, or tell myself I can wait a month or however long and cut it out then.

 

[QTPie]

Bringing up a baby (or maybe a "first time baby" - or so I am told ) is a bit like that isn't it? One challenge to the next.

Different people do things at different rates and in different ways: there isn't a right or wrong providing you and your LO are happy with it.

I think that whatever you do, you need to be consistent with it (both you and your husband do it). IF you wanted to give him the bottle in the chair, then settle him, it WOULD get easier if you did it consistently.

I guess that the whole "bottle thing" is the worry about it damaging their teeth (why HV in the UK try to get you to move to cups starting at 6 months and off of bottles completely by 12 months). But - like your son - ours only had one bottle a day (from about 12 months). I didn't see it as a big issue (he found that one bottle, before bed, soothing) and he was VERY easy to wean onto a spouted beaker at 19 months (he literally didn't notice when we replaced the bottle with the beaker one night).

If your little one drinks the bottle and discards it straight after and doesn't wake up (in the middle of the night) looking for another bottle, then not a huge issue I (personally) think.... If he keeps sucking on the bottle and/or keeps waking looking for more milk/bottle then more of an issue

I think that maternal instincts are a great thing: you know whether it is a challenge that you want to tackle now or not.

QT

I think I'm ignoring my own instincts. We used to NEVER feed him in his crib. I'll be honest, I gave in when I found out my husband was doing it. He was starting to fight me giving him his bedtime bottle in the chair, but would only take it lying in bed, so I went with it. He is able to go to sleep without it IF one of us rocks him, or stays with him. I really think that I have to do this enough times so he disconnects the bottle. It's just hard because it's a solid half hour of soothing, rocking and crying before he'll sleep. Or, I can give him a bottle, read to him, sing him a song, and walk out to him sleeping in minutes.

That's where I bounce back and forth, why is it so wrong to let him drink it in bed if he'll give it up eventually anyways? We've worked so hard to go from bottle to cup, mushy food to solid, sleeping through the night, three naps to two to one nap. So much has happened this last year that I think I'm holding onto this one little piece of him being a sweet little baby. I know it's not this complicated. I just need to either cut it out, or tell myself I can wait a month or however long and cut it out then.

 

[Lois]

My daughter had a full bottle of milk at bedtime until she was 2 years old...she has no twitches can walk in a straight line and only howls now and again. ;-)

On a serious note, your little boy is still so young and in my opinion if he finds comfort on relaxing with a bottle at bedtime then it isn't a big deal at hus age. My daughter is now 2yrs9months and I don't regret letting her keep her nighttime bottle until 2 years at all.

If however youare determined to get rid asap then I would advise introducing some other bedtime rituals that you are happy for him to follow first so that he has some comfort to fall back on when his bottle is gone completely. I also agree with the idea of gradually reducing the amount in the bottle.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do and just remember not to let it worry you too much. Noone ever died from having a bottle of milk at bedtime.

Lx

 

[QTPie]

My daughter had a full bottle of milk at bedtime until she was 2 years old...she has no twitches can walk in a straight line and only howls now and again. ;-)

ROFL!

 

[girlsmooch]

my lo is the same. its the only bottle he has in the day and i cant see the harm really. he goes down like a dream most nights, doesn't keep it in his mouth so its doing his teeth no harm and hes just starting to sttn about half the time.

i think all this baby stuff is hard enough without unnecessary battles, he can keep his bedtime bottle till he's 20 if he wants. he'll soon drop it when he's bringing ladies home from the pub!!