Being intimate again...

[Simon'sMum]

Ok, I apologize right away for this. I'm already embarrased but simply have to ask for input...

My baby is 6 months old and every month that goes by reminds me that we still haven't resumed our "bedroom activities". I just think it may be a little abnormal...

When Simon was first born, we both felt great, weren't yet tired and were looking forward to the healing to be complete. At my postnatal checkup, the doctor said the stitches weren't done perfectly which caused some area to be more painful and reddish. So we put things off 'til that was better.

Well, our life is now extremely busy with big projects so we rarely even get to go to sleep at the same time. We get 2-3 hours together maximum, during which the baby needs our attention of course! So where the heck are we headed??? It seems like we put things off too long and now don't know where to begin. Are we all alone like this? Should I fear the pain that much? Any advice for us?

Thanx for your help! We're feeling bad about this but don't know how to be intimate again...

 

[Wobbles]

We haven't long been intimate for first time! I thought I was being way OTT because I was uncomfortable & paranoid about my body changes! Between the fact we rarely in the same bed now baby work etc (even though we both work from home) it was avoided which was a relief to me. Wasn't him at all just how I felt & too was like where do we start

Glad we did ........ I feel much better about myself now! Although it helped that he approached me and it just went that way

But it was fine nothing felt different to me at all!

 

[Kellz]

I think you're normal hun - judging by the comments I get from people.
I think most people are well into the 6m+ before they start getting back to bedroom activities.

Plan an evening for the two of you, make sure you have some nice water based lube on hand "just in case".
Regardless of how intimate you get you need to make sure you still communicate.

Have you err experiemented alone to see how uncomfortable you may or may not be right now?

When you do start getting intimate again just make sure hubby knows to take it slow and steady and that he won't be offended if you ask him to stop for a bit.

 

[Simon'sMum]

Thank you so much Kellz!
Seeing you're expecting an 8th little monkey, I figure there's hope!
I purchased the lubricant like you mention, OH and I have talked about the discomfort and how things aren't just like they were before and everything. I think the option of planning an evening will be a must. It's odd, but I think this first time since the birth will have to be planned rather than spontaneous. Also, from the moments spent being a little intimate, we both know that there will be a few issues. Sorry ahead of time for sharing so much info.... When my son was born, I felt a tearing feeling towards my clitoris. Anyway, it seems like there actually was a tear which reduces sensitivity. I knew that sensations would probably change, but I didn't expect that one. There was also some tearing the opposite way but I didn't feel that until the Dr. began sutures. Things healed but not perfectly. At our post-natal appointement, the Dr. said that sutures had caused a bump of excess skin like it was pinched in one spot. That could be removed with dry ice or something but the idea scares me... So now, I feel sort of broken... I guess that's nothing to make things better in the bedroom!
Sorry for going on so much, but I'll make sure to speak with OH about making plans... He'll be more than happy as he's been asking that we have Simon's grandma babysit for the night. Thanks for your advice.