Embo78
Mum of five
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- Jan 3, 2010
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I woke on Friday the 27th November at 42 weeks pregnant after yet another crap nights sleep. I'd only been sleeping four hours a night and felt I was slowly going insane. My pelvic pain was horrendous. My sciatica was throbbing. I could feel baby getting bigger every day. I doubted myself right up until the day though. I didn't want to force baby out when he wasn't ready. I seriously contemplated refusing induction. At least for the weekend. The decision to go ahead with the induction proved to be one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life.
I rung the induction ward to make sure they had a bed for me at 3pm. The midwife asked me if I'd like to come in at 1 which I agreed to as I thought it'd give me a head start!! As soon as I put the phone down I got a sense of impending doom. Like I knew something wasn't just right. I put this down to the fact that I was exhausted and scared about the induction process after a terrible, drawn out process with Max.
We said our goodbyes to my mil and Max and I cried silently all the way to the hospital. I've only ever spent two nights away from him in his three years and was dreading being away from him. I was worried that he would feel abandoned and worried about where mummy and daddy were. Fortunately he has a wonderful relationship with his grandma so that made me feel much better.
When we got to the hospital there were no parking spaces so Gav gave me my notes and I told him I'd meet him on the ward. Big mistake. Walking onto the ward without him was horrible. The midwife said hello and I promptly burst into tears! Poor woman didn't know what to do with herself!! Once I explained how horrible my induction was with Max she understood my hysterics!! She popped me on the monitor for half an hour and Gav arrived with my bag!
After monitoring she told me that this time they're going to use propess. A 24 hour pessary rather than six hourly one. I was relieved about this because I knew that I wouldn't be forgotten during the night like with Max.
After it was inserted and being told I was 2 cms cervix still posterior but very very soft, I had another half hour monitoring and then Gav and I went for a nice long walk through the hospital. Walking was hard. I remember feeling so uncomfortable and heavy! I took my last ever bump pic!
At 9pm Gav had to leave. I was feeling mixed about this. I was so worried he'd miss our baby being born and I'd lose my rock but I was happy that Max would have daddy at home and daddy could explain that mummy hadn't abandoned him!!
At 10.30pm the mild tightenings I'd been experiencing since 6.30pm were getting a bit more painful. I loosely timed them and the were coming every three minutes and lasting 50 seconds. I remember thinking they're not real contractions and getting upset because they weren't painful enough but painful enough to keep me awake.
At 1am they were strong enough to bring tears to my eyes and I asked the midwife for some pain relief. She gave me cocodamol but it didn't really help. She put me on the monitor and I was contracting three times in ten minutes. The midwife assured me they were "real" contractions. I text Gav to say it might happen in the night so switch his phone up high.
At 2am the midwife gave me a very painful examination. I think I'd had a reaction to the propess as I was very very swollen and tender. My cervix at this point was still posterior. She couldn't tell dilation because I was so tense and in pain. I start to lose it but I was assured this was completely normal (pain/contractions with propess)
I was given some diamorphine at about 2:15am.
I couldn't stop crying because I couldn't control the pain. Hearing the woman next door and her husband talking really fast in their own language seemed to make my contractions more painful and harder to breathe through.
At 2.40am I seemed to pull myself together. Told myself to man up and get it done cos no one will do it for me and take control of my situation. The Diamorphine was helping to relax me. I seemed to be able to breathe through contractions better.
2:43 I put my headphones on. Getting in the zone. Staying relaxed. Visualising each contraction takes me closer to meeting my beautiful boy. ��
0328 still breathing through. Enjoying elbow. Finding it harder to stay calm. Feel nauseous.
At 3.45 I smile as I feel my waters go but I check with my hand and realise it's not my waters but blood. At this point I panic. I know blood is not good but the diamorphine is stopping me from making any sense of it. It's keeping me much calmer than if I hadn't had any!
I go to the loo and feel something plop out of me. Midwife is worried that it's the propess but doesn't seem concerned about the blood.
4am horrendous examination from doctor. Only 1cm dilated (how did I lose a cm?). Pessary out. (Soaked in blood as well as docs hand) Refusing to have another. Want to go home. Still contracting. Not sure on frequency yet cos I've only just started timing again. Baby absolutely fine on trace. Refused to have cannula put in.
I'm going to ring Gav to come pick me up. I'm going home.
At 5am I'm transferred to the birth suite and ring Gav to come back. He was so funny and asked me to ring Ella. I said I'm a little busy love!! He doesn't even remember saying this. He must've been half asleep and confused!!
I remember feeling so happy that I was still contracting because the pessary had been out an hour so my body had obviously taken over.
Gav arrived at about 5.45am and I was so annoyed with him because he'd forgotten the baby bag with all the baby's clothes and nappies in and he hadn't put enough money on the car. I think he was just in a bit of a daze and shocked that it was happening after it taking three long days with Max!
0600 waters broken by doc. On gas and air. Gav being amazing and supportive and wonderful. Still only 1-2 cms.
At 7.15 I'm 4 cms and in established labour. I was out of control with the pain. I was struggling so much. I couldn't get a handle on it and was feeling overwhelmed and like I wasn't doing it right or fast enough. After reading my notes I wish I could've chilled out on myself. I was progressing beautifully. Gav and the midwives were trying so hard to spur me on and keep me positive but I just wasn't having any of it. I was HORRIBLE to Gav. How he didn't snap back at me I'll never know! Even the student midwife farrah commented on how supportive he was when she saw us after it all.
At 7.30 baby was getting distressed so I had to have the first oxygen test. Comes back fine.
At 8.45 I noticed a change in the staffs attitude. They're whispering and faces look a bit worried. Obviously I pick up on this and literally shout at one of them, "why did you just shake your head? Is my baby ok? What's going on?"
At this point they did another oxygen test on him and soon after attached a monitor to his head to keep track of him better.
The oxygen tests were excruciatingly painful for me but I knew I had to suck it up to make sure he was ok and the gas and air helped!
Throughout my time on the birth suite my waters were gushing out and I kept saying to Gav, "is that blood?", he'd check and with a scared look he'd nod. I think I was so out of it on gas and air that I didn't realise the magnitude of the situation.
At about 9.30am a doctor or consultant came to speak to us and said that as I was still only 5-6 cms and baby was showing signs of distress and the heavy bleeding I should consider a c section. I looked at Gav and he looked at me and we both agreed almost immediately. I said I feel in my heart something is wrong in there. I really don't want a section but something is wrong and I want my baby here safe.
By 10am I was in theatre and the anaesthetist, Fiona, (who was the loveliest lady I've met in a long time) was doing my spinal. I was sucking on the gas and air like a mad woman as my contractions were coming thick and fast. Oh man the gas and air in theatre is something else! The staff joked that they keep the good stuff in theatres! I was sweating profusely due to the pain and all the things they were trying to stick on me kept dropping straight off! Fiona said that once the spinal numbed me I stopped sweating like she'd switched off a tap. She said she's never seen someone stop sweating so rapidly!!
Once the spinal kicked in I was still going for it on the gas and air thinking that I'll never get the chance to have it again cos it's my last baby and the theatre nurse practically had to wrestle it off me haha! She said come on now Emily. You don't need this anymore
The relief when the spinal went through my body was amazing. I was completely tense and in so much pain I can still imagine it right now. We had a joke when Fiona asked me to lift my leg. My brain told it to move but it was completely unresponsive! Such a strange feeling!!
Once I was on the operating table the consultant peered over and said are you getting the urge to push because you're now 9cms!!!! I said am I heckers like! I'm numb from my boobs to my toes!!
I started to get worried they'd forgotten my hubby and I was almost crying thinking about how worried he'd be feeling about us. When he walked in with his scrubs on I remember feeling peace wash over me and he made me laugh by positioning his chair with his back to the eight people about to bring our baby boy to us!!! He's very squeamish. Fiona joked that she'd catch him if he fainted!!
Fiona kept us occupied and calm by talking to us about lots of mundane things. She was absolutely wonderful.
At 10.33am our beautiful son was lifted into the world. He weighed 1 oz from 10lbs and was 55 cms long.
His shoulders got stuck on the way out so they had to rip me on the right side and the bleeding was caused by placental abruption. My placenta had started to "come away". When they removed my placenta there was a huge blood clot that had formed underneath it.
I had skin to skin with him straight after they checked him over. I remember feeling gutted that all these people were touching him before I could. I was even annoyed when my husband stroked his arm! The desperation to touch and hold my child was immense. My chest felt heavy. I just needed him.
I kept him with me the entire time in recovery and tried to latch him on but I couldn't get in a good enough position as I wasn't allowed to sit up.
Who knows what would've happened if we hadn't agreed to the c section or even worse if I'd refused induction.
I'm trying not to dwell on that though and two weeks after his birth I'm completely and madly in love with our fifth and final baby. Baby Benjamin
Sorry it's so long!!
I rung the induction ward to make sure they had a bed for me at 3pm. The midwife asked me if I'd like to come in at 1 which I agreed to as I thought it'd give me a head start!! As soon as I put the phone down I got a sense of impending doom. Like I knew something wasn't just right. I put this down to the fact that I was exhausted and scared about the induction process after a terrible, drawn out process with Max.
We said our goodbyes to my mil and Max and I cried silently all the way to the hospital. I've only ever spent two nights away from him in his three years and was dreading being away from him. I was worried that he would feel abandoned and worried about where mummy and daddy were. Fortunately he has a wonderful relationship with his grandma so that made me feel much better.
When we got to the hospital there were no parking spaces so Gav gave me my notes and I told him I'd meet him on the ward. Big mistake. Walking onto the ward without him was horrible. The midwife said hello and I promptly burst into tears! Poor woman didn't know what to do with herself!! Once I explained how horrible my induction was with Max she understood my hysterics!! She popped me on the monitor for half an hour and Gav arrived with my bag!
After monitoring she told me that this time they're going to use propess. A 24 hour pessary rather than six hourly one. I was relieved about this because I knew that I wouldn't be forgotten during the night like with Max.
After it was inserted and being told I was 2 cms cervix still posterior but very very soft, I had another half hour monitoring and then Gav and I went for a nice long walk through the hospital. Walking was hard. I remember feeling so uncomfortable and heavy! I took my last ever bump pic!
At 9pm Gav had to leave. I was feeling mixed about this. I was so worried he'd miss our baby being born and I'd lose my rock but I was happy that Max would have daddy at home and daddy could explain that mummy hadn't abandoned him!!
At 10.30pm the mild tightenings I'd been experiencing since 6.30pm were getting a bit more painful. I loosely timed them and the were coming every three minutes and lasting 50 seconds. I remember thinking they're not real contractions and getting upset because they weren't painful enough but painful enough to keep me awake.
At 1am they were strong enough to bring tears to my eyes and I asked the midwife for some pain relief. She gave me cocodamol but it didn't really help. She put me on the monitor and I was contracting three times in ten minutes. The midwife assured me they were "real" contractions. I text Gav to say it might happen in the night so switch his phone up high.
At 2am the midwife gave me a very painful examination. I think I'd had a reaction to the propess as I was very very swollen and tender. My cervix at this point was still posterior. She couldn't tell dilation because I was so tense and in pain. I start to lose it but I was assured this was completely normal (pain/contractions with propess)
I was given some diamorphine at about 2:15am.
I couldn't stop crying because I couldn't control the pain. Hearing the woman next door and her husband talking really fast in their own language seemed to make my contractions more painful and harder to breathe through.
At 2.40am I seemed to pull myself together. Told myself to man up and get it done cos no one will do it for me and take control of my situation. The Diamorphine was helping to relax me. I seemed to be able to breathe through contractions better.
2:43 I put my headphones on. Getting in the zone. Staying relaxed. Visualising each contraction takes me closer to meeting my beautiful boy. ��
0328 still breathing through. Enjoying elbow. Finding it harder to stay calm. Feel nauseous.
At 3.45 I smile as I feel my waters go but I check with my hand and realise it's not my waters but blood. At this point I panic. I know blood is not good but the diamorphine is stopping me from making any sense of it. It's keeping me much calmer than if I hadn't had any!
I go to the loo and feel something plop out of me. Midwife is worried that it's the propess but doesn't seem concerned about the blood.
4am horrendous examination from doctor. Only 1cm dilated (how did I lose a cm?). Pessary out. (Soaked in blood as well as docs hand) Refusing to have another. Want to go home. Still contracting. Not sure on frequency yet cos I've only just started timing again. Baby absolutely fine on trace. Refused to have cannula put in.
I'm going to ring Gav to come pick me up. I'm going home.
At 5am I'm transferred to the birth suite and ring Gav to come back. He was so funny and asked me to ring Ella. I said I'm a little busy love!! He doesn't even remember saying this. He must've been half asleep and confused!!
I remember feeling so happy that I was still contracting because the pessary had been out an hour so my body had obviously taken over.
Gav arrived at about 5.45am and I was so annoyed with him because he'd forgotten the baby bag with all the baby's clothes and nappies in and he hadn't put enough money on the car. I think he was just in a bit of a daze and shocked that it was happening after it taking three long days with Max!
0600 waters broken by doc. On gas and air. Gav being amazing and supportive and wonderful. Still only 1-2 cms.
At 7.15 I'm 4 cms and in established labour. I was out of control with the pain. I was struggling so much. I couldn't get a handle on it and was feeling overwhelmed and like I wasn't doing it right or fast enough. After reading my notes I wish I could've chilled out on myself. I was progressing beautifully. Gav and the midwives were trying so hard to spur me on and keep me positive but I just wasn't having any of it. I was HORRIBLE to Gav. How he didn't snap back at me I'll never know! Even the student midwife farrah commented on how supportive he was when she saw us after it all.
At 7.30 baby was getting distressed so I had to have the first oxygen test. Comes back fine.
At 8.45 I noticed a change in the staffs attitude. They're whispering and faces look a bit worried. Obviously I pick up on this and literally shout at one of them, "why did you just shake your head? Is my baby ok? What's going on?"
At this point they did another oxygen test on him and soon after attached a monitor to his head to keep track of him better.
The oxygen tests were excruciatingly painful for me but I knew I had to suck it up to make sure he was ok and the gas and air helped!
Throughout my time on the birth suite my waters were gushing out and I kept saying to Gav, "is that blood?", he'd check and with a scared look he'd nod. I think I was so out of it on gas and air that I didn't realise the magnitude of the situation.
At about 9.30am a doctor or consultant came to speak to us and said that as I was still only 5-6 cms and baby was showing signs of distress and the heavy bleeding I should consider a c section. I looked at Gav and he looked at me and we both agreed almost immediately. I said I feel in my heart something is wrong in there. I really don't want a section but something is wrong and I want my baby here safe.
By 10am I was in theatre and the anaesthetist, Fiona, (who was the loveliest lady I've met in a long time) was doing my spinal. I was sucking on the gas and air like a mad woman as my contractions were coming thick and fast. Oh man the gas and air in theatre is something else! The staff joked that they keep the good stuff in theatres! I was sweating profusely due to the pain and all the things they were trying to stick on me kept dropping straight off! Fiona said that once the spinal numbed me I stopped sweating like she'd switched off a tap. She said she's never seen someone stop sweating so rapidly!!
Once the spinal kicked in I was still going for it on the gas and air thinking that I'll never get the chance to have it again cos it's my last baby and the theatre nurse practically had to wrestle it off me haha! She said come on now Emily. You don't need this anymore
The relief when the spinal went through my body was amazing. I was completely tense and in so much pain I can still imagine it right now. We had a joke when Fiona asked me to lift my leg. My brain told it to move but it was completely unresponsive! Such a strange feeling!!
Once I was on the operating table the consultant peered over and said are you getting the urge to push because you're now 9cms!!!! I said am I heckers like! I'm numb from my boobs to my toes!!
I started to get worried they'd forgotten my hubby and I was almost crying thinking about how worried he'd be feeling about us. When he walked in with his scrubs on I remember feeling peace wash over me and he made me laugh by positioning his chair with his back to the eight people about to bring our baby boy to us!!! He's very squeamish. Fiona joked that she'd catch him if he fainted!!
Fiona kept us occupied and calm by talking to us about lots of mundane things. She was absolutely wonderful.
At 10.33am our beautiful son was lifted into the world. He weighed 1 oz from 10lbs and was 55 cms long.
His shoulders got stuck on the way out so they had to rip me on the right side and the bleeding was caused by placental abruption. My placenta had started to "come away". When they removed my placenta there was a huge blood clot that had formed underneath it.
I had skin to skin with him straight after they checked him over. I remember feeling gutted that all these people were touching him before I could. I was even annoyed when my husband stroked his arm! The desperation to touch and hold my child was immense. My chest felt heavy. I just needed him.
I kept him with me the entire time in recovery and tried to latch him on but I couldn't get in a good enough position as I wasn't allowed to sit up.
Who knows what would've happened if we hadn't agreed to the c section or even worse if I'd refused induction.
I'm trying not to dwell on that though and two weeks after his birth I'm completely and madly in love with our fifth and final baby. Baby Benjamin
Sorry it's so long!!
