Lunabelle
Mother of one
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2015
- Messages
- 249
- Reaction score
- 49
We did an FET for an embryo that we had had frozen for years. It was meant to be a perfect quality embryo so we were too sure it would work, I couldn't help but think about that embryo almost daily. Waiting that we could do the transfer. Around the same time of the transfer my best friend told me they dropped contraception to see if they would have a baby. Now she is due a baby the same week my due date would have been.
I had a miscarriage before which lasted a little longer than this time, but this time was the hardest because of the attachment I already felt for the embryo/ child.
When she first told me she is pregnant I was so excited for her, there's no reason for me not to be. I wouldn't wish this hardship to anyone, especially not to my friends. But when she told me the weeks and I quickly calculated the DD which happens very fast when you have been TTC for so long, it was a bit of a shock. It's just it's a constant reminder for the baby I lost. I would now be this far along, the baby would now be this old... and because we are so close I am going to be following the pregnancy from near too. In a month or two I might be pregnant too, but the grief for the baby we lost will still be there.
At the same time I am so happy and excited that she is going to have a cute little bundle of joy and I can't wait to find out if it's a girl or a boy, to see the ultrasound photos, see the bump growing and to meet the baby. But at the same time I can't hold the tears for the baby that we could have had. I just wish there had been at least a little more time between the two, so it wasn't a constant reminder.
This is infertility.
I had a miscarriage before which lasted a little longer than this time, but this time was the hardest because of the attachment I already felt for the embryo/ child.
When she first told me she is pregnant I was so excited for her, there's no reason for me not to be. I wouldn't wish this hardship to anyone, especially not to my friends. But when she told me the weeks and I quickly calculated the DD which happens very fast when you have been TTC for so long, it was a bit of a shock. It's just it's a constant reminder for the baby I lost. I would now be this far along, the baby would now be this old... and because we are so close I am going to be following the pregnancy from near too. In a month or two I might be pregnant too, but the grief for the baby we lost will still be there.
At the same time I am so happy and excited that she is going to have a cute little bundle of joy and I can't wait to find out if it's a girl or a boy, to see the ultrasound photos, see the bump growing and to meet the baby. But at the same time I can't hold the tears for the baby that we could have had. I just wish there had been at least a little more time between the two, so it wasn't a constant reminder.
This is infertility.