Best friend is pregnant again :(

[katy1310]

Hi

I'm not even sure of the point of this thread but I just needed to write it down I think.

We are desperate for another baby but terrified in case the same happens as last time (pre-eclampsia discovered at 25 weeks, LO born at 27 weeks when I was one hour from organ failure).

My best friend had a baby in March, and she has just told me she is pregnant again. I struggled all through her last pregnancy and I just don't feel quite ready to deal with it again! I found it so hard seeing her with a huge bump and bringing her baby straight home and being pregnant and now it's happening again.

Pointless thread I know but I'm sure people here will understand....I feel so unbelievably selfish - of course I'm really happy for her but at the same time, it feels so difficult

xx

 

[sbl]

Although I didn't have a very preemie baby, lo was born at 35 weeks I am very high risk for preterm birth due to only having half a uterus.
I would love to have another baby but I can't not now and maybe not ever.
I struggle with the decision all the time.
Its hard when people have easy pregnancies, straight forward births and go home with the babies on the same day.
I envy them but I am still so happy for my friends when they tell me they are pg. I just wish I could have a straightforward pregnancy but alas that is not the hand I was dealt.
xx

 

[Cheska]

Have you spoken to your hospital about ttc again? X

 

[sunnylove]

I am very hesitant to get pregnant in the future because I am at high risk for another preemie as I have an incompetent cervix. Around the time I had my LO one of my sisters got pregnant with her 4th child and she is currently 26 weeks pregnant, which is when I had my LO. Maybe I'm different from most people, but it doesn't bother me. I am so happy for her and so happy that she will very likely go full-term and have a perfectly healthy baby. Hopefully it's something you get over eventually

 

[katy1310]

I am very hesitant to get pregnant in the future because I am at high risk for another preemie as I have an incompetent cervix. Around the time I had my LO one of my sisters got pregnant with her 4th child and she is currently 26 weeks pregnant, which is when I had my LO. Maybe I'm different from most people, but it doesn't bother me. I am so happy for her and so happy that she will very likely go full-term and have a perfectly healthy baby. Hopefully it's something you get over eventually

Maybe it's me who's different from other people, I don't know.

I hope I didn't come across as not being happy for her or not happy that she will probably go full term again and have another perfectly healthy baby - of course I want all that for her, and of course I'm happy for her - it's just part of me struggles every time someone close to me gets pregnant....partly because of seeing people go through all the stages I missed out on, seeing them get to bring their baby straight home when mine had to stay behind in hospital, and also now thinking about whether we will ever have another one, when we want one so badly. I just keep thinking I wish it was us. I guess it's just something I will need to work through and hopefully will come to terms with it eventually. xx

 

[sunnylove]

I completely feel you, I've had the same experience! It's been difficult at times for me to see someone in their third trimester (I never made it to 3rd tri). I was actually sitting in church next to a woman with a huge belly that she kept rubbing, and I had to get up and move because I actually started tearing up really bad! I can think "I wish it was us" all day long, but it's not and it will never be and I just have to be thankful for the LO we have now and think positively and not "it could have been me"

 

[Cheska]

Katy if you haven't I think you should get a pre conception appointment perhaps with your consultant who looked after you with Sophie?

I didn't have pre e but did/do have bp problems. We lost our first little one as she was too small to deliver so had to just wait for her to pass.

I went to a hypertension clinic at the hospital and had an appointment prior to ttc again. I had to try again I was so desperate to have a baby I could take home. I had a list of questions as long as my arm and came out feeling positive and reassured that this time I would get the best possible care for me and my baby. I was there every two weeks after 20 weeks it was a scary journey and I didn't really enjoy pregnancy but my beautiful boy was born premature but did amazingly well.

Sorry for rambling what I guess I'm trying to say is through an appointment before hand you might get the confidence to try for Sophie's brother or sister. They will watch you like a hawk knowing you've had it before so even if you did get pre e again it could be a totally different experience in getting further down the line before it creeps up on you and being spotted as soon as.

I also feel jealous pangs of full term ladies and get sad when I watch maternity things when the baby pops out and gets put straight on their mummy's chest. I haven't had this experience and probably never will. But then I hear other things in life and think get a grip Francesca you have a little boy who is perfect in every way.

 

[AP]

katy no advice at all , big huge HUGE hugs because I know how hard it was for you when she was pregnant before xxx