best friend isn't supportive. different lifestyles. i need advice please):

[thecurlymama]

I'm 16 weeks along with my first. I'm 16 years old and just trying to figure things out....

I have the best best friend in the world, let's call her Tina (it's a nickname and sounds nothing like her real name but whatever) Anyways, Tina is not being very supportive. Mostly she just calls me fat and whenever my family and I, my boyfriend and I or even her boyfriend and I (him and I are close friends) talk about my pregnancy or what it's gonna be like when my baby gets here she seems disgusted. She just says stuff like "ew." or "Yeah you're gonnna be really fat" .... It just seems so immature. She's the person I usually talk to about every thing, but I just feel too uncomfortable to approach her to talk about anything that has to do with my pregnancy. It's really taking a toll on me and our friendship.

Another thing is, my life has drastically changed. Our "crew" as we call it consisted of her, her boyfriend, four of our guy friends, one other girl and me. We'd usually all come home to our place (Tina lives with my family and i), go up to "the loft" aka "the sanctuary" and get stoned, talk, listen to music, just hang out... My boyfriend is older than our high school buddies (he's 19) and usually didn't hang out with us cause he was always at work. These days I don't hang out with the crew anymore- and most of them don't even know I'm pregnant. I spend most of my time with my boyfriend who is reallly sweet, funny, supportive and a really good hard working guy. But of course.... Tina doesn't like him. She says she feels really weird about me being pregnant BECAUSE she doesn't like him that much. I really don't understand it, he's been nothing but nice to her... trying to get to know her, talking to her, us four (tina me my bf and hers) even partied a bunch together this summer! It's really getting to me. Now she just smokes weed most of the day and we barely ever hang out.

I feel like I need some girlfriends who understand but she's really the only one I have!

Sorry for the really long post, but i could use some advice pleaes?

 

[jozylynn896]

A lot of teen girls lose friends once they become pregnant. Just look at it as she wasn't a true friend!

My friends and I used to get fuuuucked up together, partying smoking what not. But honestly I haven't talked to either of them in months. Not because they don't accept it, but because they understand that my life is so much different now.
I know they'll be here for me and my son, help me take care of him and what not. But they also know that things won't be the same.
They're smart, they love me and accept it!
If Tina can't do the same, then she mustnt be toogood a friend.
I know it sucks but some people just aren't.
But on BabyandBump you can make a ton of friends who won't judge you
Good luck
Btw, I'm 16 too and 27 weeks along with a handsome son

 

[thecurlymama]

A lot of teen girls lose friends once they become pregnant. Just look at it as she wasn't a true friend!

My friends and I used to get fuuuucked up together, partying smoking what not. But honestly I haven't talked to either of them in months. Not because they don't accept it, but because they understand that my life is so much different now.
I know they'll be here for me and my son, help me take care of him and what not. But they also know that things won't be the same.
They're smart, they love me and accept it!
If Tina can't do the same, then she mustnt be toogood a friend.
I know it sucks but some people just aren't.
But on BabyandBump you can make a ton of friends who won't judge you
Good luck
Btw, I'm 16 too and 27 weeks along with a handsome son

i have heard this before and I see where you're coming from. However, Tina and I have been friends since we were really young, she's like a sister to me.. we're family and she lives with me. It's nto that she's not a true friend... it's just that i need some other people that can relate. It's comforting knowing there are people on here but I want people i can hang out with, ya know?

 

[ClairAye]

Soooo like my ex-best friend!
I got fed up of her being an immature bitch so told her I didn't want to be her friend any more, I was just sick of her.

Hope she stops saying stuff like that to you!

 

[lizmageeful]

Ugh, most of my friends did that. A lot of them just dont realize that its not the same. You cant go out and party all the time anymore, cause you have another life that you have to worry about. You will lose friends. I dont think anyone here is disputing that. But you will also be able to make mommy friends soon! Idk where you live, but a lot of areas (at least where I am) have groups for teen mothers that know what you're going through. I mean, my best friend since kindergarden started being a total bitch to me once i got pregnant, calling me a whore and stuff. Its awful. But its ok, cause in the end you're gonna be a better person for it.

 

[Jossy]

It seems to me like she's jealous especially if she's saying ew or calling you fat! It's not fat it's a baby for crying out loud! Only 20% of the weight you gain during pregnancy is you, the rest is support for the baby! Anyhow if you're happy with your man and he's happy with you and supportive then stay with him because any support especially from the baby's daddy is always a huge help and makes you feel on top of the world.
Another thing that bothers me about her from what you said is how she doesn't like your bf... That's really strange considering how he's being more supportive to you than she is by the sound of things! Just focus on little things like that and know she's not that good of a friend by the way she's acting or treating you.

 

[jozylynn896]

My friend and I were friends since the first day of first grade.
Some shit we just have to be really strong about, ven though it sucks.
If she doesn't get over it how are you gonna live with her AND the baby?

 

[Court and bub]

Your friend sounds stubborn but she is probally just trying to look out for you in her own wiered way witch isn't helping you at all , she also may be jealous of you because you have a loving boyfriend and a baby on the way your gonna be a family and grow up , she may secretly want that , I know how you feel when you say you feel like she is the only one you have because I really only have one friend who is a true friend and she also smokes weed constantly we both did it together all the time but I stopped for my little one and found it so much better in life not having drugs and she still does it all the time even when I'm around her and that's all she can do and I can't so we have drifted apart but where still friends , every body will loose friends when there pregnant but it is the ones who stay and make the effort to talk to you about it be support and help you who will stick around they are your true friends you will gain new friends sweetie , one that understand you , you can go to mothers groups and find friends that are going thru the same thing that you are everything will be all right , just give your friend some time to ajust or everything she may not know how to react to you and when you talk about pregnancy things because she finds it unusuall , but once the baby is born youll know if she is a true friend or not

 

[xolynn]

Honestly that is extremely immature for her to say things like "Ew" or "you're fat". You really dont need people like that in your life! I know shes your bestfriend and all, but you should ask her if shes your best friend, how could she treat you so poorly in a time of need like this? At age 16 she should be a lot more mature about it than that. You need to talk to her and tell her if she was really your best friend through everything she would be supporting you, pregnancy can be a really tough time and you need supportive strong people to back you up! Wish you the best of luck! I hope it works out and she comes around!

 

[magic93]

Trust me most times even the closest people that have been friends for yearrrrs end up growing apart.. But you bein pregnant now jus makes it even more likely youll grow apart from allottt of people. Jus remember if she really is a real best friend she will come around once she adjusts to the fact that your having a baby, n if she doesnt you dont need her in your life anyways. You need to jus worry about whats best for you and your child, everything else will happen on its own. N also youll make new mommy friends too

 

[MummyMana]

I think you should talk to her about it and find out why she's being like this I'd say it's possible that this could be a similar thing to older sibling syndrome, and that these acting this way because she's scared the new baby is gonna take all your attention and she'll not get a look in, I don't know for sure that that's the case but it's worth considering. Talk to her, tel her how her attitude is making you feel but also find out how she's feeling

 

[thecurlymama]

Thank you everybody! This has really opened my mind to the fact that I need some friends that are going to be more understanding to my situation... I live in Bellingham, Washington... I haven't really looked into any mama groups or anything like that but I do know that they exist... My mom says I've been seeming really lonely lately. It's true.. between my man being at work all day and my friends seeming to be way too busy for me, I really don't have anybody to talk to during the day. I go to school monday-thursday (community college), but I don't go until 1:30pm on mondays and wednesdays so I feel like I have a lot of free time.
I think I need to reach out to people who I can relate to - and more importantly who can support me. If anybody has any ideas I'd really appreciate it. I want to reach out to somebody but I don't know where to start.