bf and intimacy

[justkitty]

I can't believe I am asking this but when my ds was born I couldn't allow my dh near my boobs until my milk had dried up after I stopped expressing. It really creeped me out as he is such a boob man.

Anyway baby no.2 is due soon and I really want establish bf and know so much more than I did with my ds. But my dh makes comments about helping with my leaky boobs which make me feel cringey. I've told him no as I hate the idea of him tasting milk straight from the source. I think he is just joking and if all goes to plan with the bf I worry how I will ever let us be intimate involving breast play. I guess its associating boob with baby and disassociating boob from sex.

What are your experiences?

 

[missk1989]

I dont really like oh touching my boobs anymore as i dont see them as sexual objects. oh feels the same way and isnt turned on by them at all anymore. i dont know if this will ever change post bf but it doesnt really bother me.

 

[CupcakeBaby]

We just sort of carry on as ever.

DH is very much a boob man so I can't deny him that.

He doesn't seem to mind getting a bit damp on his chest so I just go with it.

 

[shanny]

they are off limits when feeding
it takes a while to adjust back for me for them to go from one thing to another


oh the joys of being a woman............

 

[lmp1505768]

I can't switch mindsets. If I'm BFing, they belong to DS. DF can have them back after I'm done lol

 

[girlnboots]

My oh wont touch me at all since i started leaking. He thinks I'm gross and its super hurtful. It's going to be a long, long year.

 

[ssjad]

Haha my man loves a drink of milk! It really doesn't bother me... very different feelings involved.

 

[justkitty]

Haha my man loves a drink of milk! It really doesn't bother me... very different feelings involved.

As in accidental mouthful or purposeful?

 

[NurseSooz]

We have quite a bit of fun with the whole lactation thing! He loves to play with the milk and has been known to drink it! I have to be in the mood for boob fun. Sometimes if I've had a bad day of feeding I want them left alone. Different strokes as they say! My husband says my boobs are currently "on a timeshare"!!

 

[Barbara_B]

As hard as it can be, try to relax and have fun with the whole experience. My dh is a real boob man, and it was a bit strange at first, but we now have fun with the whole experience. If it doesn't work for you - don't get stressed out - try again in a few weeks/months. Be reassured that this will only last whilst you bf.
Hope this helps.

 

[ssjad]

Haha my man loves a drink of milk! It really doesn't bother me... very different feelings involved.

As in accidental mouthful or purposeful?

Either and/or... both happen, depending on his mood...

 

[ChimChims]

Different people like different things. I can distinguish between the two very well, and could definitely go for more breast play. OH on the other hand, doesn't care for the milk, but is patiently trying to still be considerate in the 'not ignoring them' dept.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Mine were off-limits when I BF. I couldn't make myself share them any more than they already were being shared, lol.

 

[BabyCleo]

I just popped in to read cause i was bored.. im ttc so ive never bf but what if he was just gentle? instead of squeezing and all that and biting he could just rub and kiss? explicit i know, just a thought. im sure you will figure it out again ive never bf before so i could be totally wrong lol just some imput

 

[Rachel_C]

It depends on a couple of things for me. If LO has been feeding a lot I don't want OH anywhere near my boobs - I just want my boobs to be my own for a bit. When I'm pre-menstrual, I can't stand it either - I will be fine feeding LO as long as she's not on the boob all day and night but OH has to stay away as it makes me cringe, not because I think there's anything wrong with it, the physical sensation just makes me curl my toes.

At other times, I don't mind and OH doesn't mind, in fact it's something we both enjoy when we're in the right mood.

I think in your shoes I would try and work out how much of it is your own preference and whether any of it is because of what you think other people think i.e. is it something you've seen people saying is disgusting so that's formed your opinion? If it's something you've been told is gross, I would try and work on that and work out how YOU feel. If it's just that you don't like it, just say no, the same as you would for any body part you didn't want OH playing with My OH knows that when I say no, it means no. It doesn't mean it'll always be no but he has to respect it while it is.

 

[mrstrouble]

DH stays away from my boobs like they have the plague because I'm BFing but it annoys the heck out of me. I have no problem keeping the issues separate in my head, but I think the idea of milk potentially leaking rubs him the wrong way. Boo for me!

 

[girlnboots]

Mine too, mrstrouble. I understand if he doesn't want to suck/kiss them, but is it such a terrible thing to just touch them? My OH gets so squeamish. Ugh.

 

[3xpire]

I never have too much of a problem. My fiance has gotten a taste on accident, but he's gotten over the lactation fact really after seeing me pump and nurse several times already ha.

 

[TheNewMrs]

My breasts were off limits for the first few months. Then one night in the throws of passion, we got carried away. Orgasm was always a laughing point with us because I'd ALWAYS get a let down and leak everywhere. Well this night hubby was mid-boob play and it happened.

"Hmmm, never thought I'd find myself in a spit or swallow situation!"- was his words!


Breasts are very much a part of our sex life since then.

 

[minties]

If OH touches my boobs, I want to scream and punch him. I can't stand it at all! I grit my teeth, my toes and fingers clench and I have to close my eyes or a feel like I may vomit.

No idea why I get such a strong reaction. Even thinking about it is giving me the creeps.