Bff being a cow, once again!!!

[Jessicahide]

Why am i bloody surprised?!! Bff is once again being a right cow because i am pregnant, last time she cried because she was so jelli ( she was preggo at the same time) This time she was "really happy, even though i don't sound it!!!" Last week she was saying how she wishes she could give her little girl another sibling and she is "very aware that she cant" Then today she was going on about how she would be "shitting it if i were you...." Its SOOOOOOO hard, her children are horrible to her because of them having a small age gap (errr since when never ever said anything like that before?!!) She can't ever be happy for anyone, honestly she would be gutted if my leg fell off.....

Sorry for the rant she is just doing my head in i love her a lot but she is a bloody brat!!!!!

 

[ChickenMommy]

Doesnt sound much like a friend I would want to have, honestly.

 

[Tweeks]

I agree with chickenmommy. Get rid of her.

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

Have had so many "friends" like this. They are toxic, it will never change and one day you will realise with some sadness that you can't have them in your life xx

 

[Kiwiberry]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time with your friend and I'm sorry that she's going through so much. I disagree with the previous posters I don't think you should stop being her friend sometimes people have s*** that happens in their lives and it makes it really hard to focus on what's important. I actually think it's really common for women who can't have kids or can't have anymore to get upset when they see someone who's pregnant. I think it has less to do with you and more to do with her own feelings. We are all human and we make mistakes. Only true friends stick around for the nitty-gritty because in reality friendship is not just rainbows and unicorns.

 

[keepinitreal1]

I agree with PP. I found it incredibly hard when one of my best friends had her baby (scratch that, it was hard from the moment I found out she was pregnant) because my DH didn't want to TTC at the time and I wad very ready to have a baby.

But I got through it and supported her throughout everything, although it was hard and I was jealous. I cried many times when I got home. But in the end, she is my friend and worth it.

So you should explain your feelings to her imo. If she can't be supportive, you should do what's best for you and the baby.

 

[Jessicahide]

Just for some clarity, there is no reason she can't have anymore children except she doesn't want anymore.... She told me her last daughter, who she wanted for 6 years was a mistake, as she hoped having her would make her partner ( only been with for two of those years) stay with her... She has done nothing but complain about her daughter being a "little bitch" since the day she was born, so this was just in reaction to me being pregnant again, she doesn't really want another.

My other friend has been struggling for years to conceive and i know her struggle, and its made me very conscious of plastering stuff all over facebook and things like that xxx

As to why i stay her friend, i don't really know, she constantly competes with me ( i don't take part) in competitions she makes up, then sees herself as losing them and gets upset?!! I allow her away with more than i should as she has Bi-polar, and i do love her a lot, i have known her since we were 5 , i suppose that is not a real reason....

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

Yes there's a big difference between a friend who is struggling unable to have a child and the sort of friend you describe. I am hugely understanding on a friend who is struggling because of her own longing for a baby and I myself have been that friend but I didn't get the impression from you post that this applies to her. I understood where you were coming from xx

 

[hunni12]

Yeah I would slowly cut her off as when pregnant you really don't need the stress

 

[nevergivingup]

I have a sister just like your friend (awful I know) so I tend to keep my business from her and all my m/s complaint from her Bc she's so (jelli) I love her with all my heart but everyone is not for you friend or family.

Sometimes you have to love people from a distance!

 

[MrsKatie]

Of course friendships and relationships aren't all sunshine and rainbows, but there is a fundamental difference between sticking with someone through challenging times and putting up with someone who deliberately makes you feel bad. This woman sounds toxic. Anyone who would refer to their precious child as a "little bitch" (god that makes me shudder) is deeply disturbed at best. This woman is not a good friend. I have had to walk away from long-time friends whom I loved dearly, because they did not make my life better. They weren't there for me on a deep level.

You can leave a romantic relationship that is unhealthy even though you still deeply love that person (I've done it)-- this happens with friends too. This woman sounds like bad news through and through.

 

[Jessicahide]

I know you are right, i have walked away from her before when she chose to stay in a very bad relationship to the detriment of her children, i worry what would happen if i did that now.

 

[MrsKatie]

Her bad choices aren't your responsibility. You are a mom-- you are only responsible for your kids. Staying in a shitty relationship (friendship or romantic) because you're scared of what the other person will do if you leave is a hallmark red flag of an unhealthy dynamic. Here are the questions to ask yourself: does she make you calmer or more anxious? Does she make your life happier or more stressful? Better or worse? Do you trust her? Does she build you up or break you down? when you imagine life without contact with her, does that bring you sadness or relief?

 

[Jessicahide]

Her bad choices aren't your responsibility. You are a mom-- you are only responsible for your kids. Staying in a shitty relationship (friendship or romantic) because you're scared of what the other person will do if you leave is a hallmark red flag of an unhealthy dynamic. Here are the questions to ask yourself: does she make you calmer or more anxious? Does she make your life happier or more stressful? Better or worse? Do you trust her? Does she build you up or break you down? when you imagine life without contact with her, does that bring you sadness or relief?

If i am completely honest... Anxious, stressful, worse, i don't trust her, she lies a lot, breaks me down but thinking of life without her makes me feel sad, its pathetic i know but i sort of like the fact that she needs me?!! Makes me as sick as her i suppose, i don't have many friends and i suppose i feel like because i support her she will be my friend.... God i really am pathetic!!

 

[ElmoBumpToBe]

Oh Hun that doesn't make you pathetic is makes you human and you sound like a kind loving person. I get exactly where you and coming from and have been in the same situation. I now don't have the friend in my life, and honestly it's so much better, I have some sadness but I just can't trust her or deal with the unpredictability x

 

[Jessicahide]

Oh Hun that doesn't make you pathetic is makes you human and you sound like a kind loving person. I get exactly where you and coming from and have been in the same situation. I now don't have the friend in my life, and honestly it's so much better, I have some sadness but I just can't trust her or deal with the unpredictability x

You are right, i am going to stop calling her as keep myself distant, it wont be too hard as she has been off with me since i told her about little bean..... ( i say all this now lol)

 

[MrsKatie]

Yeah all of us get entwined in friendships or relationships like this and when you're in it it feels like it will be SO hard or impossible to get out. But then when you're on the other side you're like wow life is so much easier now!

I had a couple of those friends too I was always trying so hard to make things feel better between us. Finally cutting ties was the only option and it was SUCH a relief. It still is, 5 years later!

 

[Jessicahide]

I didn't call her today, she sent me some im on facebook, talking about her new bra lol but that is all xxx