BFP Chasers...........Feel free to join....

TTC- Thank you for sharing your experience. It must have been so hard for you to ignore the weird sensations. I asked my sister about the cramping, and she apparently never experienced them in her pregnancy, and that was why she suggested it could be ectopic! Sigh. I will try to relax and enjoy my pregnancy when I can.

Wish- I think it’s good that you’re transferring two! Well, that was going to be my plan if this didn’t work. I’m sorry about your losses, you so deserve this cycle to work :hugs: I’m thinking good thoughts for you!
Thanks, I’m trying to enjoy being pregnant, even though it’s hard to fight the annoying negative thoughts. Oh that’s a good way of thinking about the allowable activity level, that it should not be a problem to do activities that my body is used to. Although, I seem to be suddenly overcome by narcolepsy these days. I am barely able to think and type now, so forgive me if I don’t make sense! Or less sense than usual, anyway…

Ask- I’m so sorry that you are going through this. I hope that they can test the tissue as well as help you figure out what your next steps to success would be. It’s great that AF came, though! Thanks for your support, I hope you get your sticky bean soon!

AFM- I was worried this morning when I woke up feeling much better than the day before. I know symptoms come and go, but they are also comforting! I decided to come up with a list of things to do when not at work, to occupy my mind, but I was way way too tired today after I got back home!
 
haha miki - so your list is short - 'sleep'. That's one giant symptom so hold on to that one! Thank you, as always, for your support and positive thoughts for me.

ask - you could definitely be right about the HCG, so perhaps it was not a CP and just a late AF from having the flu last week. I hope you're able to talk to your doc and get some answers too. I know the percentage of women having miscarriages is high - it happens to almost all women. But if you feel it's time to start looking into things, then i'd call up for a 'wtf' appointment with your RE. It's the not-knowing that makes us nutty!!

I was up until 1:30am last night working! had a 7am deadline. I've now treated myself to an Almond Joy iced coffee and a bagel sandwich. So there.
I need a new job. :haha:
 
Haha, Wish, I you're right that sleepiness is a giant symptom! My sister told me that she realized she was pregnant when she was 6 weeks along, because she felt ill and very tired. Wow, your work is crazy. I remember that you were hoping that things would let up a bit, but work still seems to be very busy for you. I guess it’s great for taking your mind off the 2ww, but it won’t be good when you’re pregnant and need your sleep! Do you have a transfer date yet?

Question for anyone… How does one get through the long wait to the first ultrasound? Mine is in 2 weeks. I have planned stuff to do when I’m at home, to get my mind off things, but my thoughts seem to get very negative at night before I fall asleep. I start to feel that it will all be over when I go for that ultrasound and get bad news. And last night I read something that made me remember that having symptoms isn’t even a “sure thing” :dohh:

I have to stay positive when I don’t know whether things are going well or not. I’m up and down, sometimes very happy and positive, and sometimes very afraid and negative. I almost regret doing so much reading up as I don’t think knowing what can go wrong helps. I’m not sure it has prepared me for a bad outcome, as I imagine I’d still feel bad anyway. I try to tell myself that this is a good, strong embie, and there are many things about this cycle that have been positive. It works sometimes, but negative thoughts creep in when I feel tired. Boo to those useless thoughts!
 
Miki- mood swings at so natural with all the hormones raging through your system right now. I struggled w anxiety too and what helped me was acupuncture and then doing things like visualizations of happiness - like imaging myself floating in pink cotton candy clouds or something. It also helped to talk to my baby(s). Tell your baby that you have faith that it knows exactly what to do. Welcome it and imagine it nestling in on soft warm pillows. Tell your body that it's strong and capable of creating and supporting life. Imagine you can talk to your organ systems reassuring them that your heart is pumping nourishing blood, your lungs bringing oxygen, your muscles ready to carry a child... breathe, listen to calming music, try calming scents like lavender, vanilla, cinnamon.... making myself fall asleep already!! Have your husband talk to your belly before you fall asleep. You are capable of more than you ever imagined, my friend!!!

And with donor eggs the odds are really good too, so that helps put ones mind at ease. If all else fails, watch reruns of Friends!!
 
Wow, thank you for your wonderful advice, Rain! I'm sorry that you struggled with anxiety too; it really is tough to deal with as it seems to follow you around in your mind. I found what you wrote so inspiring. I’ll definitely implement those things in my daily routine. DH already talks to “embie” before I go to sleep, hehe. Yes, donor egg is such a wonderful gift. I feel so lucky to have been given the chance to embark on this journey!

I have thought of a couple of things to try out starting today. One is a simple celebration type journal where I just type a few words or sentences per day, to celebrate another day being pregnant with “embie”. I’m horrible with journals and that’s why I’m keeping it to short entries. I’m sure I’ll stop doing it halfway, but I’m hoping it will help me in the beginning. Another thing I want to do is to list all the positives regarding the cycle and my chances, and also to list the negative thoughts that I have. For the negative thoughts, I will write down at least one rebuttal or counter example that is positive. This way, I hope to have positive thoughts ready to replace those negative ones as they come up. I doubt I’ll end up sticking to the journal, but I like the idea of the list.

Thinking back…I have had such a positive experience with my entire cycle so far, and I am very grateful for that!

I hope everyone is doing well! Vonn and MsR, how are you feeling?
 
oh rain - you almost put me to sleep too, and that's not an insult! ahhhhhh... I love all of that!
what do folks think about miki using a digital HPT to see the '3+' on it? I know that calmed some ladies' nerves to still 'see' they are pregnant. Almost as nerve-wracking as not knowing for sure, but if that's up your alley, there's that.

my transfer date is 5/12.
First blood draw on Monday, 5/1. Hop on a plane after that for a trip to CA until Thurs. Fri another blood draw and u/s. I think a quick trip to PA week of 5/8, Mon-Tues or -Wed. Then transfer/day off on 5/12. Then a week of work and trip to NO on 5/20 and taking the whole next week off. Then a wedding on 5/27. Holy moly.
(not that you all needed to know my schedule for the month of May - that was more for me! :))
 
Rain, I never watched Friends that much, but when I was exhausted during the first tri, I watched Friends all the time! For hours over a period of days. Baby might be soothed not by my voice, but by playing Friends reruns.

Wish- that sounds like a wonderful way to pass the tww! :) Transfer is coming up very soon!

I think the CB weeks estimator for Miki could be good, but my guess is you will just take it and just go back to anxiously waiting for your ultrasound :). Plus, when I looked around for them in the store in January, I could never find any.

Oh, and AFM, I could feel baby move from the outside the other night! It was super awesome. Plus I am in general feeling kinda ungainly, but good. Moods have evened out, which has made a huge difference. Now getting into the stage where we have to actually start planning (cue the making of excel spreadsheets).

Edited, to add: Yum, burrito
 
MrsR - congrats on feeling the baby move on the outside! That's such an incredible feeling.

Miki - I wouldn't take the weeks estimators. Mine took forever to change to 3+. That just added to my anxiety. It was at 2-3 for so long, I was sure something was wrong but nothing was.
 
Thanks for asking about the CB weeks estimator for my anxiety, Wish! I did consider it, but then I realized that I would be even more anxious if it somehow didn't read the "correct" number of weeks! Wow, May is a super busy month for you! How exciting, I can't wait for your cycle to start!

TTC- Thanks for your experience, that scenario is what I was afraid of. I'm sorry that you were so worried, I'm glad everything turned out wonderfully in the end!

MsR- Thanks, I think you're right. I may get a moment's reprieve if the weeks estimator reads the correct number of weeks, and then I'd be anxious again! It's wonderful that you can feel baby burrito from the outside now, how amazing!

AFM- I had another thought today, that I could think of my sister's two easy pregnancies to help ease my anxiety. She had no worries about the ultrasounds, and everything went super well. I don't know what my own outcome will be, but at least I can try to replace the dread of the ultrasound with some nice thoughts! It seemed to help today, as I felt pretty upbeat and happy about my pregnancy after I thought of her pregnancies and the adorable ultrasound pics that she showed me.
 
I’m now feeling really depressed… just when I was doing so well yesterday. I was so upbeat, joking around and back to my normal self. Then I woke up in the middle of the night with very bad cramping. It felt like menstrual cramps, but it was so severe that I kind of felt like I needed to use the bathroom. I was panicking that something was happening, and even felt “flow” down there. But when I checked, there was no blood. The bad cramping went away after maybe 10-15 minutes, but now I have a kind of pulling/throbbing/stitch-like feeling on the right side of my lower abdomen.

I was really beside myself last night. With the pain and the horrible cramping sensations, I was sure something bad was happening. DH was fantastic and helped me through it. After he gave me a Tylenol and a fizzy drink (I have been having a lot of bloating), I felt fine again.

But now I feel awful. I tried to google (bad girl, I know) to assure myself that this wasn’t a sign of something bad, maybe an ectopic pregnancy. Instead, I felt much worse. I now can’t shake the feeling that it could be an ectopic pregnancy, or something else that’s bad news. I think I’m also exhausted as it took me an hour to get back to sleep, plus I was really freaking out. I’ve dropped an email to my nurse…. I don’t know what else to do.

Sorry for the selfish post, I really am struggling. I remember how I felt after my bike crash almost exactly a year ago, where my severe pain took me to a very dark place. I actually believed that I would never walk again. Now this scary experience has once again taken me back into a dark place, and I am afraid that it will take me a while to get out.
 
oh miki, i'm so sorry you had such a scare!!! Please do keep us posted on what the nurse says or if you go in for an early ultrasound. My thoughts are with you that this is just a crazy little uterus thing. i think it's a GREAT sign that there was no blood. All I've ever heard is if there is blood AND bad cramping, watch out. And even then, it's not bad all the time.
 
Thanks, TTC. The nurse called me and said that she wanted to set my mind at ease. She said my beta numbers don't point to an ectopic pregnancy, and that cramping and twinges can happen in a normal pregnancy. She said it could possibly be bowel related too. Also, since the cramping was for a short period of time and Tylenol seemed to work to stop the pain, it wasn't anything to worry about.

Thank you so much for writing, Wish! I really appreciate your support. I am mildly relieved that the nurse didn't call me in for an early ultrasound, as it would seem that they consider this sort of cramping "not unusual". Still, I remain afraid and generally down. Maybe my bad feelings stem from the exhaustion and the trauma of last night's experience. Plus I have this constant muscle pull feeling on my right side. I can't wait to go back home at the end of the day to rest! Hopefully I'll feel more upbeat after that!
 
I'm sure you'll feel like a new woman after a good night's rest. I actually liked the little muscle pull when I had that. It was like my own little secret sign from 'embie' that it was there. Enjoy the little messages. :)
Remember that these emotions are hormone-driven as well. Try to give yourself a break. I know it's hard b/c it's all going on in your head but hopefully there is some calm, ice cream and netflix in your future for the night, followed by a good sleep. :hugs:
 
Thanks so much for your uplifting words, Wish! You have a knack for that!

Hehe, I know what you mean about "embie" reminders. DH and I say that "embie" is working hard. It was nice... before that horrible traumatic experience. Now I'm on edge when I feel stuff happening in there! Hmm... I guess it's true that hormones could be causing me to feel this gloomy/doomy way. It's so not me! Mindless TV and nice food are definitely in the plan for tonight!
 
Miki - it's easier to say than do but try to relax and not worry. I'm the last person to do this however. I worried so much when I was pregnant with Seren. Every time I had stretching cramps I convinced myself I was miscarrying. When I had no symptoms I convinced myself I was miscarrying. When I was 12 weeks I thought my baby had died but happily the midwife found a heartbeat (we both cried. I'd convinced her too). 5 days later i went to my 13week ultrasound and expected the worst. I had my tissues in my hand so I could blub into them. I googled every story. It's not easy when you've been through so much to get pregnant. I have lots of hugs for you and I know its cheesy but I'm sending you lots of happy and healthy baby vibes. Seren is now 15 months and was a strong baby through the whole pregnancy and birth.

Ask - I'm sorry that this was not your cycle. Good luck for your next one.

Wish - I haven't found your post but from reading others I see you're transferring 2 embies. Yay. I'm excited for you.

Afm - I'm enjoying the photography. After a month I'm still mediocre. I really hope I improve soon.
 
Spud - I had forgotten you were learning photography. I'm 3 weeks into my basic photography class. About a week ago, I started project365.org (a photo a day).
 
Thank you so much for your comforting and caring words, Spud! I am so sad that you suffered so much with your prior losses and your fears when you were pregnant with Seren. I am so happy that Seren turned out to such a strong baby! Enjoy your photography, you must have some great scenery to practice with over in New Zealand! I enjoy photography too, but it has taken a back seat in my life these days.

TTC- I hope you're having fun with the photo a day project!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend! I have just come home from my hike, which I used to do weekly until just before transfer. DH works weekends, so I hike near his workplace, and meet him for lunch. My spirits lifted the moment I was out there walking. I wish I could do this more!

I actually had a great night last night, despite waking up with a crampy stomach. I was prepared, so I didn't feel afraid, and after a little while I realized the discomfort was bowel related. It was the kind of discomfort that I get with an upset stomach. It was a bit bad and crampy, but nothing that I couldn't deal with. TMI, but I felt a lot better after I "went". I went back to bed happy. I wonder if the cramping I felt the night before was also (at least partially) bowel issues related. It seems that the previous night's scare has made me more relaxed and zen about things, and may have been what I needed!
 
that's wonderful to read, miki!! i'm glad you're zen now! remember, too, that gas, constipation, diarrhea - all symptoms as well. All those hormones are doing a complete number on you, not just your brain! :)
 
I agree with Wish! Those are totally symptoms! Your uterus begins stretching quickly. It just takes a while for it to outgrow your pelvis. Early on, though, it begins to invade on your intestines which can affect your digestive system.
 

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