BFP Chasers...........Feel free to join....

[Wicky78]

It's so great to see you, TTC! Congratulations on the weight loss! As the other ladies said, that's a lot of hard work and determination on your part. Way to go! I love the picture of the family. Bellamy is adorable - I can't get over how fast these kids are growing. So happy to hear all your good news Also, so much empathy for your mom situation. I swear, people who haven't had at least one parent live with them in adulthood just don't know how stressful it is. I find it feels like parenting a teenager, except the power dynamic is all screwed up because the teenager is your parent and they have always "been in charge." Some days DW and I laugh about it, some days we yell/scream, and other days we cry. It is a roller coaster. Then add in some toddler emotions and WOW it gets dramatic fast!

Miki, I'm so sorry to hear you didn't get the job... but it seems like you might have dodged a bullet if the hiring manager didn't even have the decency/respect to tell you until you chased her down. That's just not cool. I really hope you get something great when you get your new job! DW and I are still struggling with our varied approaches to parenting/limit setting, too. Sounds like that's par for the course with toddler parenting! After the last time I posted, I found a positive parenting class and signed us up for a free intro session online. We both agreed it was a great idea because we could each learn from our current place and come together with one plan, so we went ahead and enrolled for the full course. However, it's self-paced online and we are TERRIBLE at scheduling ourselves. So now I get more frustrated when DW loses her cool with Miriam/about Miriam because I know we have this great resource that we're not using (yet). But I do keep reminding myself that DW had never been around kids much and knows nothing about toddlers. She takes things personally that M says or does and attributes a level of intention/control that I don't think toddlers actually have (like intentional manipulation or trying to get under your skin with the way they react). Yes, toddlers manipulate us and yes, they get under our skin and push our buttons, but only because it WORKS not because they knew what to do and made some calculating move. I really want DW to go back to talk therapy because I know there are old childhood and adult issues at play, but she feels too overwhelmed with everything to add one more thing, even though she agrees and wants to go back to therapy. Sigh. All I have to say is I am glad these kids are so adorable and sweet because even when those moments are minimal (like on a bad day), they still make it all worthwhile!

Wish, I hope your interview went well. Fingers crossed for you to find the right job for you at the right time! I am so glad I found a good work situation when I did. If I were job seeking now, I would lose my mind. I have so much compassion for what you and Miki are going through with that!!! The boys sound like they are giving you a run for your money and being all toddler-y. I hope the potty training situation works out. Like you, I'm very ready to get rid of the changing table, diapers, all of it. Unlike your boys, M HATES having her diaper changed, but absolutely is NOT interested in the potty, either. She screams and carries on about not wanting us to touch her or use wipes when she has a dirty diaper, and that just isn't reasonable. So it's a struggle, but I also don't want to push her too hard to go in the potty if she's also totally freaked out about sitting on it because of the "bump" (splash guard). You'd think we were pulling out her toenails the way she screams and tries to get away from the potty if we even suggest she might try sitting on it. I have no idea where that came from?! We will miss you here, but since I'm not exactly consistent about posting, I can't really talk, can I?

As for us, M just had her 3rd birthday... themed with kitties. She had a blast and played with another 3 year old for the first time ever. She weighed in at 27 1/2 lbs and was 35 inches tall. Still in the 13th and 18th percentiles or something like that, but at least the percentile has stayed fairly consistent. We are looking forward to getting her into preschool IN PERSON in September so she can have some normal social interactions with people outside of our house. I thought I'd also share a link to my choral concert, since we were virtual this year. The result was better than I expected and the music is really moving. No pressure to watch any of it, let alone the whole thing, but it has been such a relaxing/comforting background to my work this week that I thought I'd pass it along to you ladies. Feel free to share it if it moves you. There is a suggested donation but it is NOT required and we expect a lot of people to listen for free, as it's readily available on YouTube, not behind a paywall.

 

[Wish2BMom]

WOW, wicky!! that was GORGEOUS! I got goosebumps all over!! Just beautiful - thank you for sharing! I found myself trying to find you too but I can't remember if you've ever shared a pic of yourself. So I picked the person that looks like Miriam!
I had a few mins after a busy day and before I start the busy night with the buggers so thought I'd pop in. I love your update! Sounds like you and DW are doing better (maybe?). That's great you signed up for that class, but yeah - takes that last little step to actually GO! HA!

POTTY TRAINING HAS STARTED!! I haven't changed a diaper in over a week! I've done a sh*t-ton of laundry though b/c of all of the accidents, but we're getting there! I'm just frustrated with their school and I know I shouldn't be. I think I'm just overly wound lately about everything b/c work is crazy, I want the new job, Timothy has SEVERE allergies to the pollen which is at its max right now here, and then potty training. They have quite a few kids in their class and only 2 teachers, one of which isn't really a teacher and is just filling in for right now (she's awesome, though - seems to be doing a good job). But when my kid has to go potty, they have to go NOW right now. So there have been a lot of accidents. I know I probably feel worse about this than they do so I'm trying to keep my own emotions at bay and just keep cheering them on. We just took the potty outside 2 weekends ago after visiting the friend across the street and the boys said they wanted to do it! So we haven't done diapers since then, I took down both changing stations, hid the diapers in the closet. They do pullups at night and for naps at school and still wet both, but we'll get there. This is a huge step for them. I think we've maybe even graduated from the smaller potty to the bigger stool/big toilet insert for both of them. That'll clear out some foot space in the bathroom!
So anyway - big wins here lately!! lots of M&Ms and jellybeans being doled out and I have a cupcake for them to split when they get no accidents at school. But I think they'll get it tonight b/c their 'accidents' had to do with either missing the potty (timothy pees straight up so he has to hold himself down) or not getting there on time. I gotta give them a break, they are trying.

no word on the new job yet but I think my interviews went well. As well as they could have so - fingers crossed!!

I hope you're all well. I hope you had a great Mother's Day!
I'll be back in a few weeks for updates! Take care!

 

[mikihope]

Well, I accepted a job offer yesterday! This company moved fast with me (and gave me an offer half a day after my onsite interview), but it was a ton of work. The initial phone call with the hiring manager was 1.5h long, then I had to take a zoom exam (! 4 questions in 1h), then an onsite interview where I gave a presentation and was grilled, then the tour! It was very technical, but at the same time they were trying to figure out if I would be too "academic". It's an industry job, which is different from all the research lab jobs I had in the past.

I think I've found the solution to my problem of my skillset not being recognized. I've been trying to fit in the wrong places. I love research and science, but my hands on skillset is appreciated in industry. In a research lab, I end up being the person who just makes a device for a scientist to do experiments on/with. They don't look at how I get there. And it's easy for me to get used by unscrupulous bosses. Now I got hired for my actual skillset, and the team needs me to shine at it for everyone to do well. The pay is insane, more than twice my current pay. And they gave me a fancy title that contains both "scientist" and "engineer"! Even though I never cared in the past about titles, this somehow makes me already feel like I'm valued.

And the crazy thing, I ended up having to turn down another company. I actually cold emailed this company as I saw a great fit, even though they had not posted a job opening. Sadly, they called the day after I received the offer. I had a great chat on the phone, and they followed up the next day trying to come up with an offer that would make me change my mind on my offer in hand!

I spent a lot of time on the job search, but I was still floored by the interest in hiring me. I have another company in the wings, but they don't have their funding in yet. My boss put the blame for his failures on me, and I almost believed that I truly was that bad. I only looked for specific jobs in my region, and there were just a handful of them. The bulk is in silicon valley, and I refuse to work there. Commute, and I just don't like the work culture. Anyway, I got interest from all but one of the companies I applied to, and landed a job doing what I love and excel at, 7 miles from where I live!

And my boss is sinking already. He has refused to give me much work, so the lab output has slowed to almost nothing. And almost all the equipment is breaking or about to break, as I have let things slide. On Monday, I'm going to let his boss (the director) know what he did to me, and then I'm going to tender my resignation that day, and then leave the next day. He has no idea. Really, I'm just giving him a taste of his own medicine. He's going to struggle, then the lab will fall apart. I almost feel like I'm in a movie, with this sort of ending! Oh, and I'm heartened that companies didn't even blink an eye at my obvious advanced age. It's nice they don't discriminate.

Sorry for blabbing on about myself, but it's the first real job I've gotten that actually didn't grossly underpay me. I guess I'd been trying to fit into a system that I didn't fit into. I'm sad I don't get to |ub shoulders with Nobel Prize winners, but now I have my family to think of. And yes, I already have started really enjoying my wonderful boys. I'd been so worried about the future for their entire lives.

Thanks so much for your encouragement, Wicky and Wish! You both were right, even though it is really upsetting to have the first opportunity fall through, iy was not meant to be. She is an awful person who uses people, which I was aware of but was desperate enough to overlook. I took your advice and I remembered to think like I was interviewing them too, and it really helped keep those nerves down a little. Wish, any news.... Did you get the job you wanted?

I love the music too, Wicky. So beautiful, thanks for sharing! I'll catch up with the posts soon, I'm going to finally have some time on my hands before I start my new job!

 

[Wish2BMom]

CONGRATULATIONS!!!
I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy for you, Miki!!!!! That's incredible!! Look at you!! You're SO WORTH SO MUCH!!! Oh this is exactly what I was hoping for when I logged on today!!!! I hope you are celebrating largely with your family! When do you start the new job?
Screw your old boss - he sounds worse and worse!

gush away, I love it. You've been in such a hard spot for so long, I WANT to hear you gush! Talk about those beautiful boys and how much fun you're having! Talk about how your worries are no more!

I did not get the job I interviewed for but I am sure it's also a blessing in disguise. I've created a good network now and a few people know I'm looking, and they are on the lookout for me too.
Maybe I should take a page out of your book and look at other companies too. I really hate to leave Fidelity at this age b/c I'd love to retire from here and reap the benefits they have for another 15 yrs or so. But I need to get out of my GROUP I think. I know I'm just not in the role I need to excel and feel good about what I am bringing to the table. And this job that I didn't get, it wouldn't be too far off from what I do now. But there could be something on the horizon in a couple months - I can stick it out that long. We'll see what shakes out.

I think I can claim that the boys are potty trained now!! Malcolm still has a little issue with pooping in the potty, or timing it right. He'll go a couple times and nothing, but then 3 mins later he'll go in his pants. So working on that. But he also takes it upon himself to go pee by himself now. No help in the bathroom! And he flushes!! haha
Timothy is doing great all around but still requires some help. And sometimes forgets to hold himself down when he pees so he sprays the wall/floor (and sometimes me) a bit. Thankfully we are also interviewing cleaning ladies so we'll have clean walls and bathrooms HAHA!
But overall, it's fantastic being at this stage!!

Otherwise, the most exciting things has been allergies. The pollen is AWFUL right now and Timothy is apparently allergic. Plus he got poison ivy this weekend. So he's been a bit of a mess, but I brought him to the pedi and we doubled up on Claritin, gave antihistimine eye drops, got some extra strength Rx hydrocortisone cream and have been bathing them both every night after we come inside. He's doing much better - poor kid's eyes were so puffy they were almost closed, they itched, his nose was so stuffy he couldn't sleep (we did the hot shower steam bath at 2am one night!). Rough times. But he's better now. Malcolm - nary a reaction! So weird how different they are.

 

[mikihope]

Thanks, thanks, thanks Wish! I really appreciate how supportive you’ve been through this awful job situation thingy, and you too, Wicky! I’ll update more in a separate post, there’s more stuff to say about the whole crazy situation.

I’m so disappointed for you that you didn’t get that job, Wish. But as we’ve all been saying, that just means it wasn’t the right one, and somehow when you get that job offer that you want, it will be clear that it is much better than the “one that got away”. This is so true in my situation. You’re right, Wicky, that the hiring manager is not a person that I would like to work with. And her little 3 person company is set up for failure. I was just desperately thinking that I sucked and nobody would want to hire me. And Wish, it definitely pays to cut losses (like your Fidelity) and pursue a job that you will be happy with. I hope you find something soon!

Congratulations on the potty training, Wish! Isn’t it freeing when they actually want to use the potty/toilet? Interesting how rewards work so well with your boys. I never use tangible rewards because I’m terrified Kai will keep whining for those things all day long. He’s terrible about that! Wicky, I’m sure Miriam is getting there too, it always feels like they’re far from “getting it” and then there’s a big breakthrough around the corner! Anyway, Kai is still always having pee accidents during nap time at home and sometimes at school, but he's doing great otherwise. We’ve now resigned ourselves to the fact that post nap time is wash the clothes/bedclothes time. I guess he’ll get there sometime… hopefully soon!

Happy belated birthday, little Miriam! Sounds like she had a blast, I love birthdays for the little ones as they’re so thrilled with everything!

And that’s great that you signed up for the parenting class. I wouldn’t dare as I know DH wouldn’t want to go, and he might get annoyed. He has that same reaction as your DW, where he assigns grown-up intentions to Kai’s actions. He gets so angry at him sometimes, but he does feel bad afterwards. I’ve been talking to people and reading up tons about parenting at this difficult age, and he just looks at things from the surface as he sees them. I think he’s starting to realize that I do know what I’m talking about, as Kai has started to respond to the parenting methods. Finally! I really thought we were going to have to divorce over it. Ridiculous!

Oh no, poor Timothy! So glad he’s better now. I was asthmatic and allergic, so I know how that feels. And it seems like Aiden has more of an issue than Kai too. Aiden has had eczema since he was a newborn, and I have eczema too! We have the same horrible itchy spot on the top of our right foot… sometimes I forget that we are not genetically linked.

And yes, I want to enjoy and gush about my boys! Today is the second day of my “Freedom”, and I have so much more energy. It’s the first time I’ve been alone in the house since Kai was born, and it feels good even though I love my boys to death! I hope I can now be the mother than I want to be to my boys. Aiden is finally walking around, he went from not walking at all to just nonchalantly walking around while drinking milk. He was ready a long time ago, but just didn’t do it. He’s the most jolly boy I’ve ever seen, but now he’s doing things like throwing tantrums and trying to climb where he shouldn’t. Sigh. Luckily Kai is getting better, and DH is starting to really enjoy spending time with him.

Got to work on my update on the crazy job leaving story. Fingers crossed for potty training going well for all our LOs!

 

[mikihope]

Ok, so the job leaving update… I did what I said I would, and I wrote a resignation email to ex boss’ boss (the director) on Monday night detailing the treatment and how I was strung along for 3 years. On Tuesday morning, the director wrote back and said that he was very sorry about that, and that I should have come to see him. He also asked whether there was any way he could change my mind.

So my suspicions were right. My ex boss lied to me, and had NEVER talked to him. He just wanted to use me until my postdoc appointment duration ran out, and dangle that job thing over my head so that I would work as hard as I could.

He also got rid of the service engineer for our main piece of equipment, a guy who had a very close and good relationship with us. This engineer was dedicated and went above and beyond to help us repair and take care of the tool. Granted, we paid him to do that, but he really was dedicated and helpful. So his service contract was running out last October, so he’d been in talks with ex boss (EB) about how to extend it for maybe a couple of years as he was about to retire (he’s in his 60s). He was a bit desperate for the extension because of that. But EB kept saying that he was talking to the director, and he disallowed the engineer to talk to him. In October, he texted the engineer and said the contract was not extended. That was it. The reason he dropped him (again, never letting the director know) is that he felt he didn’t need the service as there was a shiny new tool coming up.

And then on the same day he texted the engineer and asked him for a favor regarding something on the tool. Yes, he’s that gross. Since then, EB’s tried to get the engineer to give him troubleshooting tips for free. The new tool isn’t up and running, so EB’s in desperate need of help.

And my ex colleague who is probably close to 70 years old, I emailed him about what happened and he told me that he found out accidentally through a union representative that he was being terminated in August. EB didn’t bother to warn him that this was going to happen. This guy went to university for the first time in his 60s, to try to better his life. After he graduated, the director gave him a job in our group. He lives 75 miles away, so he spends a crazy long time trying to get through the ridiculous traffic just to get to and from work. And he is so nice and quiet and helpful. How could someone do this to him? Apparently he was also being mistreated, as he wrote that he thought he was the only person who was being mistreated by EB.

So that sucks, but the good news is that EB can no longer mistreat people secretly! I told everyone who works with him, and they were all (except one, who used to loudly claim to everyone he was my friend but I never liked him) sorry for me. And the director sent my email to HR, as he was very concerned about EB’s actions. So I had to do this exit interview with HR on my last day, and his “management skills” are now under a microscope.

So on Tuesday morning, I emailed EB that I was leaving and that Wednesday was my last day of work, and he wrote back immediately in a panic. It basically said that he thought he would have been given more notice. Then he called me, saying the same thing. That’s all he could say, he didn’t ask me why, or where I was going. And it turns out “more notice” meant that he thought I was going to stay until my postdoc appointment ran out in October! After 3 years of begging him to give me a job, he actually thought I’d stay around in that crappy low paying job to do his bidding after he’d told me that he didn’t have a job for me. Disgusting.

So now EB is left with equipment falling apart, and the work that he thought he could force me to do. Oh, and his boss and HR know that he’d taken away all my responsibilities, save for that project he didn’t want to do, before I left. He thought that he could butter up the service engineer as he seemed to need the money before retiring, but he doesn’t know that the service engineer is also in touch with me and that we both have been talking about how badly he treated us. And the other lab he uses, the director knows too, and DH works there. DH is in charge of the lab and most tools, and it’s the lab where the shiny new tool that EB needs is. So… goodbye cushy life for EB!

So that's the long crazy story. I really hope there is no more crazy at my new job!

 

[Wish2BMom]

that's INSANE, miki!!! Karma is a B, EB!!! I'm so glad it's all crumbling in on him now. He deserves it. I can't believe all that he's put 2 older employees and a new mother through!! He deserves what he has coming to him.

When do you start the new job? i'm so happy for your quiet day!! YAY!!! And sounds like you're taking a little time in between - that'll be good for you. I never get to do that, haha. I always leave a job on Friday, start the new one on Monday. Boo.

aiden's walking!! Go get 'em!!! so exciting - now you're going to have your hands full b/c he'll be running in no time!! HA! That's awesome that Kai is chilling back out now too. We've just gotten Timothy out of his tantrum ways and now Malcolm has grown a backbone or gotten a shot of testosterone or something b/c he is STUBBORN as a mule and is being very vocal about it. So we're trying to get through that. DH goes pretty straight to the 'time out' but with Malcolm, I feel like I can easily call him out on saying No/Now/Mine/whatever easily enough and be like 'no, we don't do that' instead of turning to a timeout. But he is also talking with a WHOLE lotta sass, so we need to let him know he doesn't talk to us that way. The last thing I want to bring up is a bratty kid that talks down to his parents. No thank you.

Yeah, potty training is still going great! I guess I can say they 'are' trained now, but with accidents. We do pull-ups at night and during nap b/c I need to build myself up to having to wash even more clothes/sheets than we do now. Malcolm has woken dry in the morning a couple of times but Timothy never does. I know I probably need to take that safety net away from him though. They wear a diaper at naptime at school and I think maybe we just won't replenish those when they run out. Surely they can go 1.5-2hrs without an accident soon. I just wish the teachers could pay a little more attention to them - doesn't seem they offer for them to go potty (maybe they offer and the boys decline? ) before naptime/after lunch. And of course they're going to have to go - they just had milk with lunch. So I don't know. Something to tackle soon but not today.

My folks are finally coming up next week! I'm so excited!!! I'm actually more excited for them to see the boys!

 

[mikihope]

Are your folks with you yet, Wish? How long are they staying? I wish mine could see the boys too. My poor sis has never seen Aiden as the entire area was locked down a few days before she was about to fly here to help out right after his birth.

Thanks so much, Wish! It feels so great to finally be free of his mistreatment. I too can't believe that he could treat us this way, and not even pretend to feel anything about it. DH is one of the people in charge of the other lab that ex boss (EB) can use when equipment in his own lab is down, and ex boss is now booking several time slots each week for equipment use. It tells me 1) stuff in his lab is broken 2) he is forced to work harder!

I forgot to mention that my older colleague was actually due to be able to collect his pension in 2 years, that's when he was planning to retire. So now he is left with nothing. EB really deserves what I did to him, he is despicable.

So anyway, DH took a week off, and we had a kind of holiday by visiting places in the region and eating out. We haven't eaten out since the day before Aiden was born, and we needed couple time together. We had an amazing time! I also had a day alone at home, basically the first time since Kai was born!

Unfortunately my days are now filled with "house" stuff. Tackling old drip systems and trying to fix a horrible kitchen sink clog, both issues inherited when we bought this house over 2 years ago. It's been exhausting. I hope I get to relax next week!

I start work a week after the upcoming Monday. I too never take breaks in between jobs, so this is very refreshing for me. Even when I left a job in Singapore to relocate to the US, I only had a couple of days tops in between. I had a ton of things to take care of in those days (no phones, bank account, car), and we were staying in a motel 6 with our cats!

Funny how Timothy is mellowing and Malcolm is getting feisty! Timothy and Kai seem to have had similar time frames for their difficult behavior. I think most kids have to go through a difficult stretch, and the ones who start earlier, get out of it earlier. That was what I hoped for Kai, anyway!

Glad to hear that potty training is going so well! Kai is still struggling with staying dry during nap time. I imagine that your boys are encouraged to go before and after nap time at school? We have the hardest time convincing Kai to go as he says he doesn't need it. And yet they do it with him at school every day. Sigh.

Exhausted as I am, I feel so much better emotionally these days. I'm enjoying the antics of Kai and Aiden these days, despite their many tantrums! I must admit that I find Aiden's tantrums pretty hilarious at the moment, but I know it gets much worse before it gets better.

I hope everyone is doing great, and hopefully getting out more!

 

[Wish2BMom]

My folks are here!! it's been a fantastic week - they leave tomorrow. I really wish they lived closer but there's no chance of that. We'd have to move to NC and we're not doing that either so it is what it is. Hopefully the boys will be ready to fly or make a long drive soon enough and we can get down there for visits instead of my parents always being the ones to come up here.
We kept the boys out of school yesterday and went to one of those trampoline parks, then out to lunch (the boys love going to a restaurant - such a treat) and then they baked cookies with my mom. They were up at 5:30 though so they were BEASTS by 5. No naps at home!
I really hope you get to see your family soon!! And they get to meet Aiden!
Speaking of naps - the teachers still put diapers or pullups on them for naps so I don't think they are following up with them before/after naps for potty. It's kinda frustrating - I'm going to need them to help with this to get over this hump.
As for nighttime - def still need pullups. I was fighting with Malcolm to put one on last night (he was out of his mind tired, though) and I'm glad I did b/c it was almost full this morning. Sometimes they'll wake in the night to go pee, and sometimes they are dry in the morning. We're slowly getting there.

I'm so glad you have so long to refresh yourself!! That sounds awesome! Even tackling that house stuff - you'll feel so much better after checking things off THAT list that you haven't been able to get to. And adult time with DH!! magical!! I'm really so happy for you! I'm glad things are opening up over there finally. Things here feel almost back to normal. A lot of places allow you not to wear a mask if you're vaccinated but we went into one store the other day and the employee asked us to - totally fine with that!

 

[mikihope]

Just popping in here to say hello! I love your update, Wish, it's so full of positivity!

I've obviously been so busy after starting the new job! Work is so different now. First, I moved from a lifetime at research workplaces to industry for the first time. Also, the others on the team are very young, fresh Phds and masters, and one straight from college. They're so good in the theory and book part, I feel stupid. I've been brought in to be a big picture person, making sure the processes all work as a whole as we're pushing to start manufacturing in a year or two. All team members present updates twice a week, and the CEO {also the founder} attends all meetings. Our group was created to work on the next possible flagship product for the company. I feel like their hopes are pinned on me, so I'm terrified. My self esteem is so low, and I've been so demotivated and hidden away in a dark lab for so long. It feels weird to have such a huge role. The good thing is that people have been very helpful and friendly. I can barely remember what my ex boss was like anymore.

Wow, Wish, I haven't begun to think about night at all with potty training. I'm impressed with your boys' progress! Life must be getting easier with the boys! And what a fabulous update, your folks being there, going places with Malcolm and Timothy.

I've always been sad that we don't do as much as I'd like with the kids because DH is so overly careful and germ averse, even before the pandemic. At least we're going tomrrow to visit his cousin who lives an hour's drive away. It's our first social gathering since my parents left last March. Poor Aiden has never interacted with anyone outside of daycare and home! He's such a sweet and jolly boy, I can't wait to finally bring him out and about! I love that things are slowly returning to normal, but DH is still nervous.

Happy 4th of July, to those in the US!

 

[Wish2BMom]

I can't wait to hear about your time at DH's cousins!! it really is such a wonderful feeling being back around people and getting out without MUCH worry. There's still a little bit but we're being careful enough. There haven't been any outbreaks recently and with summer being here and most things outside, I feel fine.

Your job sounds AMAZING and like all the things you need to get your confidence back in shape. The spots I'm interviewing for are somewhat like that - if I get them, I'm really going to have to 'lean in' and take control again. I want that, but then I'm a-scared too! Right now I can kinda hide and it's ok. But then I'm getting frustrated at not shining b/c I love to shine at work. So I know I need a new role to feel better about myself for sure. I think once you realize what you have to bring to the table (years of experience in the big world, having been involved in the actual research they were only reading about, etc) over the newbies, and allow them to teach you too, you'll all be a wonderful team and you'll just glow, like they were able to see in you when they hired you! you got this!

We had another wonderful weekend with the kids - we went to the Jurassic Quest dinosaur expo that is traveling the country on Sat. The kids loved it! then we went to a new place a brewery we love opened up - they changed locations to a newer, larger and more beautiful place so we got lunch there. Sunday we went to a local parade - the kids' first - in my old hometown. It was cheesy and awful and great all together! The kids loved the fire engines, of course. Then we just hung with the neighbors that afternoon. Monday, we went back to that trampoline park and we all bounced, then out to lunch and then to another family's house to hang out and have the kids play. Jam-packed but oh so fun!!! I'm falling in love even more with my little family! I can't wait to take them to the beach next month for our long weekend in Old Orchard Beach in Maine.

 

[mikihope]

How is everyone? I've been so busy trying to get up to speed at my new job, but I always wonder how everyone's doing on here.

How's your job search going, Wish? I hope that you find a great job that motivates you and you can shine at! Or have you already found that new job?

I've been so nervous about my fast rising responsibilities. I am already in charge of coordinating most of the device development. We have to get prototypes out by December to prove we can manufacture this. I have to get the other process engineers and technicians to run their processes well, improve processes and cut time taken. I am good at managing the processes and time taken when it's just me, but I have never managed a team of people! Plus I've always been one to downplay my abilities and was content to be in the background. I've been so afraid to have to be in the forefront of things, and my already low self worth was battered to almost nothing. I'm terrified half the time, and excited the other half! I think this may be what my self esteem needed.

My team and the other people around my office are extremely young and fresh out of grad school, and a couple are right out of college. They're all in their 20s. I've felt down about my age as I turn 50 next month! Still, I get along very well with everyone, and I have joined people on 4 Friday lunches so far. I'm coming back out of my shell, and being more myself again!

So far, people have been helpful and friendly. I like people and make connections easily, so I quickly felt at home here. It's weird, but I don't know how many of my coworkers really look like. I know those in my office and those I go out for lunch with, but everyone else has always been masked when I see them. Plus I work in a cleanroom.

Turning 50 makes me feel old and afraid of the future, though. I sometimes wonder if my age means that I can't be close friends with the other moms/dads. There's lots of things I worry about now, maybe because of that scary number. Ugh!

On the kiddies front, the boys are exhausting! I feel like I will never have any down time, ever. Aiden is still a very big boy, and strong, and he loves to wrestle with his big brother. He is also starting his terrible 2s phase. He's easier than Kai was, but having 2 of them is so tiring. Still, they're tons of fun and so cute. Kai is such a funny boy, and Aiden laughs loudly at everything! Sadly, my sister has never seen him in person, as lockdown last March happened just as she was supposed to fly over from Singapore. I hope she sees him by his 2nd birthday... I have no paid time off for the 1st 6 months of my job!

It's tough doing stuff with the boys due to Aiden's age, but I love reading the updates about what you're doing with your boys, Wish! I can imagine how fun it is, and I keep telling myself that we don't have too long to wait before we have adventures like that with our boys. Ours are just little walks or a visit to the nearby little farm in the hills. We're going to the zoo with them for the first time on Sunday, that's a big deal for us!

Boy was that long... Someone else chip in with an update!

 

[Wish2BMom]

your job sound amazing and just what you needed!! I think everyone has a certain level of anxiety about one thing or another so don't be so down on yourself. Whether it be age (too young? too old? too fresh out of college and not enough experience? too much experience?) or tenure or whatever the case may be - you're not alone!

I got a new job! still waiting for the official offer but it's in the works. But it's not the one I REALLY wanted - I applied for 2 and was in the running for both. In all of my interviews (like 7 of them...), I talked about the other one like 90% of the time. Then they picked me for the 2nd one! I have no idea what they saw or what but maybe there was just someone better for me for the 1st job but they didn't want to lose me so they took me for the 2nd one. Anyway, I'll be a program manager, which isn't really anything i've ever done so now I get to do kinda what you're doing - project managing and making sure people stay on track and deliver what they need to in the right time, to cost, and don't miss anything. At least I'll be out of the minutae! it'll be loads better than what i'm doing right now, for sure.

The boys sound awesome! YES, it's all tiring but it's so worth it. We just got back from our beach vacation and it was fantastic. The boys, mostly Malcolm, were a bit overwhelmed the first day - a giant vast beach/ocean to see for the 'first' time again, lots of new people to meet (DH's extended family), the pier rides/food/crowds - so much fun but M couldn't take it and had a couple meltdowns. The next day he was great, though and we fully enjoyed our time. We even took them to an amusement park nearby called Funtown USA. M was the first one on rides, it took T about 3 rides to actually get on one but then he loved it!! I attached a couple pics

 

[mikihope]

Finally got some time to post! The boys and the new job are taking up a whole lot of time and energy. But it's a lot of fun - at home and at work!

My coworkers are really friendly and helpful, and so far I like our boss, he seems to be a good manager. The sad thing is that the team members are so young, so they are leaving one by one for greener pastures. I like that I can be my silly self at work, people are not pretentious. We sing, we skip into the cleanroom, we laugh. The other day I was singing "The Sound of Music" songs in an operatic voice with a coworker, she's from China but knows and loves the movie. Sadly, there is one super annoying person on our team, he joined a couple of weeks after me. Arrogant, selfish, rude, not a team player and really not good at this job. We'll see what happens, maybe he'll leave as he isn't performing up to par or interacting well with others so far.

Wow, I love your update, Wish! Your boys, and a new job! Have you started yet? Is the job interesting?

I love your photos, you all are adorable! Such a nice joyful life... Malcolm and Timothy look so happy! I remember how I was dreaming of starting a family, and now I have 2 little boys. Aiden is now going through his tantruming phase, but he is still a super jolly boy. And he's so cuddly and affectionate! He runs to people to cuddle and kiss them. Kai's still spirited, but I think the difficult side has started to subside. He's so funny and animated. The other day, he sang along with "Do you want to build a snowman", and he put in so much passion and emotion in his voice, face, arms... It was hilarious.

And we finally went swimming in the city pool this morning, it's conveniently located on the next block from us. We've been so stressed out from the pandemic, from not having any help, and from the new job. We finally found the time and energy, and luckily Aiden loved it. Kai couldn't remember swimming, so he got out in a hurry at first, then asked to come back in when he saw Aiden having fun. It was a great morning at the pool!

I hope everyone's doing well! It would be so great to hear updates, I often wonder how the former regular posters are doing!

 

[mummy_ellie09]

Hi is it ok if I join?
I'm Helen. Turned 36 in September. I'm a mother of 2 boys, Josh who will be 12 on Saturday, and William who will be 2 on Boxing Day. Been actively trying for #3 for 3 months after a short break. Tried to do a test yesterday afternoon but got a book error. Now feeling somewhat deflated, got to 2 days late - with the last 2 AF coming smack on time - and then starting this morning