BFP Chasers...........Feel free to join....

[Wish2BMom]

Lee - happy birthday, Lily!! I cannot believe she's 3 already!! time is flying, i swear it! Have fun - are you doing a birthday party for her? School?? nooooo not yet!

wanting - you could lose your progesterone levels early, which would cause any sort of implantation to fail (I think?). I only had a 9-10 luteal phase and needed progesterone supplement after O or my IVF transfers.

miki - how are you doing?

ttc - anything new on the sticks??

wanting - what would ya like to know? I've been on BnB since Jan of 2014, a few months after we started to TTC. I thought it would be easy even though I was a ripe old age of 38. Incorrect! We went through 2 yrs of trying ourselves and then through testing I found that I had Diminished ovarian reserve (DOR) and would need assistance. Went through many rounds of IVF and IUI when my ovaries weren't creating enough follicles for extraction, had my first miscarriage on our first try. I think I got pregnant once more through IVF but it didn't last either. Once we basically tried everything we could with IVF, all the tests, etc, we decided on donor eggs. We went with frozen, so we got 6, and 5 fertilized! My first fresh cycle didn't work so I went through Endometrial Receptivity Testing to make sure that we were transferring on the best day/hour possible - had to do that twice b/c the first time the test was only 80% conclusive. After those, transferred again and it worked but failed again. Down to 3 embies left and then we were calling it a day. For the next round, decided to transfer 2 embryos. They both took and hung in there. I had an amazing pregnancy, especially since I was 'geriatric' at 41 and had twins. They were born at 38w+1d via c-section and now I have 2 beautiful (if I do say so myself ) boys who are thriving!

 

[mikihope]

Thank you so much for taking the time to give me ideas and support, Wish! I have done some of what you have suggested, but I haven't tried becoming more extreme. Maybe I should try that! I've avoided the "well I did it as a kid" thing because I know that would not help my case with DH, plus I do try to keep my mind open and live only in the present (trying to follow current advice) when it comes to what's best to do for Kai.
I've toyed with the Dr idea (yes, DH always goes for the appointments), but I'm deathly afraid that she'll say something that DH will latch onto. Knowing how anxious he gets, he'll find the one little thing that the Dr mentioned which matches with his fears, and then he'll decide that it's really too unsafe for Kai to do this or that. So that's still on the back burner for now. Although... I really like your idea of getting the doc on the same page before going, never thought of that!
You definitely sound like you're on the same page as I am. I wish DH would be too! So funny that we fight a similar battle with our DHs. Oh yes, I too think that it's not terribly likely that the pool is terrible for Kai. Of course, germs could always survive the chlorine, but we can't keep thinking of worst-case scenarios our whole lives! Oh yes, I now make sure to wash Kai’s hands after he touches things and before dinner, etc. DH is much happier seeing me do that, so that’s good.

We definitely had some free-wheeling days as kids! I've been shocked to discover that DH had a much more sheltered childhood even though he grew up in Mauritius, which seems to me like a typical laid-back island. I too sat on the back of a pickup truck while my parents drove over big bumps. And my grandparents let me take off my training wheels when I was 4 and they were looking after me while my parents were out of town. I rode all over the neighborhood and was covered in scars by the time my parents got back! I used to go with my family to swim in the ocean once a week, and we'd swim for hours and lose sight of each other. Too crazy, Kai is definitely not doing those things!

So DH has calmed down and is now fine with Kai's swimming class. The day after his tirade against swim classes, I wrote him an email which started with how caring he is and how great a caretaker he is to Kai and myself. And he is. He's really amazing at that, he’ll go out in the middle the night to get stuff for us if we needed it. So I told him that the flip side is that he gets anxious about Kai's well-being. And I told him that I felt like a "bad parent" for wanting Kai to do things that expose him to germs and harm. I went on to say the stuff about immune system and development, etc.

DH wrote a great email back about how I take amazing care of Kai and he knows that I want what's best for him, and that he knows I'm right about building an immune system early on. He gave the example of how his mom sheltered him, and how he was very sick through elementary school. So he does hear me, it's just that it's hard to see our child suffer. It's easier for me to imagine the benefits and not feel as afraid for Kai, because I had such a free-wheeling childhood with a zillion hours spent outdoors on the neighborhood road/playground and underwater. DH is so protective of Kai that he's upset our daycare/preschool takes the kids out for neighborhood walks daily, and that they have tons of outdoor and water play. Just simple stuff that kids get to do makes him worry! So it's a work in progress, but I'm happy to see that DH does try to keep his mind open.

Lee- Nice to hear from you! Happy birthday to Lily! I bet she's wonderful, and so much fun now. I can't believe that you have battled similar issues with your DH, funny how common it seems to be after all. Sigh, it sure seems hard sometimes to make sure both spouses are on the same page in parenting.

Wanting- I think Wish has made a good point, low progesterone could cause the spotting. I hope progesterone supplements could help you. My short intro is that I started trying for my first child at the advanced age of 44, delayed by life situations, and found that I had to move to donor egg as I only had a 1% chance with my own eggs. I was successful with the first try and had Kai at 46. I just turned 48 and am almost 16 weeks pregnant!

Went for prenatal appointment yesterday, but it was just a listen to the heartbeat with the Doppler. The anatomy scan is set for end of October!

 

[wantingagirl]

What lovely story’s..... this is my worry it is progesterone but I’ve always spotted since my daughter who is 6 but I managed to have Leo with nothing. And last month I only spotted on two occasions a tiny bit. I had a super short cycle last month that has never happened. Over the 6 years I’ve ranged from no spotting in 2ww to a little to loads so I don’t know how that could be progesterone. They don’t believe in giving it out saying it doesnt help but I have a doctor willing to try but only at bfp. Maybe I should call him to ask or try the progesterone cream a bit longer. I’m changing my diet too as I heard too much refined sugar could cause hormonsl balance and I figured maybe cause spotting?

 

[Wish2BMom]

miki - what a WONDERFUL email exchange between you and DH! You nailed it!! i'm so glad you took that step - you guys have great communication. It's all tested by the babies but you sound like you're figuring it all out just fine. And I know your DH is a wonderful Dad - he seems so caring of both of you, I'm sure he's just so crazy freaked out to lose either of you, as much as he loves you both!

wanting - I think anytime anyone wants to change their diet for the better, it's a good idea. The food system doesn't care what they feed us, we have to watch out for ourselves. And refined sugar is definitely one of the main culprits of a LOT of ailments. And it totally has an impact on hormones!

 

[mikihope]

Thank you for your kind words, Wish! While it's stressful during the moment, when DH tends to freak out and get upset, it's great that he manages to hear my concerns when he's calmed down. I never try to reason with him in the moment as we're both usually upset, but he's generally receptive the next day. After years of being with abusive and/or invalidating guys, I finally found a guy that would hear me. Of course, I make sure to validate his feelings and say positive things about him before I tell him how I feel. You're right, he cares a lot about us, and I try to remember that this is the root of his anxiety.
Kai had a random fever that reached 102 on Wednesday, and DH still wanted Kai to go for swim class on Saturday. Kai had no symptoms of a cold, and the fever broke that day. Still, it was a big step forward as in the past DH would have disallowed Kai to go swimming later that week.

Wanting- I hope that changing your diet or progesterone does the trick. It's so stressful trying to figure these things out!

Mum- how are you feeling? Are the stretching exercises helping your sciatica? I'm feeling better, but there's still nausea at times and smell/food aversions. I do think I'm starting have an actual bump now, and not just belly flab!

TTC- Any news?

I'm now quite sure when I feel Beanie move, the "tapping" feeling has been more obvious the past couple of days! And Kai is doing well, he's such a friendly, outgoing and happy boy. He makes such silly voices and faces, and does really funny walks to make us laugh -- he's such a comedian! Of course, he can be maddening as he seems to be in the midst of the terrible twos, but luckily he makes up for it with how animated and adorable he is!

 

[Wish2BMom]

miki - hooray for breakthroughs!! that's awesome!!
Oh and the pitterpatter of internal baby feet - swoon! I miss that part the very most!!

We all got hit with colds and a chilly weekend this weekend so didn't do a whole lot. My Gym and playground Saturday morning and then we kinda hunkered down the rest of the time. Yesterday was a full blown PJ day. I went out to lunch with a friend, though - we'd been trying to get together for like 4 months! it was great.
Last night, I think Timothy got hit with the cold in the middle of the night and he woke up and had trouble getting back to sleep. So I brought him into the spare room to sleep with me. Well he slept great but I did not. So now I'm completely bushed and trying to figure out if I can nap at all today! Plus I'm still sick! blah. Coffee to the rescue!

 

[mikihope]

Wish- Thanks, breakthroughs are always great, they remind me that good communication works and it’s worth putting in the effort! Oh yes, the little taps are so awesome and adorable, I definitely savor every one of them.
Oh no, sorry to hear that you guys were sick again! I hope that you all are better now. At least you got to have lunch with a friend, that does sound great. Because of all our moving, life events, and only being in the US for the past 5 years, we haven’t made close friends like the ones we had in Singapore. I miss that, but I do love my new life here too. I’m hoping that now that we’re more settled, we’ll find good friends and also little friends for Kai!

DH and I are at home, we’ve been unable to go to work since yesterday. The power company shut down power to huge numbers of customers in the area due to possible fire danger, and our lab had the power shut down. I spent all of Tuesday afternoon shutting down the equipment in the lab, as they are complex (plus old and unreliable) pieces of machinery that need to be shut down properly in order to not act up when we bring them back up. Although... there are always loads of problems when we bring them back up anyway!

Anyway, the power company can’t say when they’ll bring the power back up, so we’re just twiddling our thumbs waiting. We were lucky our house wasn’t one of those with the power shut off. I managed to do some pretty back breaking work in the garden yesterday, so that was pretty satisfying. We’re both working from home today.

 

[Wish2BMom]

oh I heard about that on the radio!! A woman called into a segment of the morning talk show saying she and a group of her friends were having a Girls Trip to Napa and they were just informed by their AirBNB rental person that there is no power!! Crazy!! That's great you can work from home, at least you still get paid. I didn't know if you would b/c you work in the lab. I'm glad they are taking this proactive step in avoiding a potentially horrible fire again. That was such a disaster last year.

I'm sure you guys will starting making new friendships soon enough. From what i've seen, it looks like it happens when your kids can make friends, then you sort of find the similar parents that you jive with. Unfortunately, we've been on the other end of this where our former friends found new sets of friends due to always being at their kids' activities (dance and such) and now no longer hang out with us. It sucks.

 

[mumof1+1]

Mum- How awful for you, surely there’s something they can do for your sciatica now that you’re in the 2nd Trimester! I hope it gets better for you.

Nothing was mentioned at my last physio appointment, just a couple of extra exercises added so who knows. Not back until November now as she was fully booked. Luckily at the moment it seems to be easing off. Fingers firmly crossed it stays that way!!!!

I’m thinking I’ve definitely popped now haha.

Good luck TTC fingers crossed for a sticky bean really soon

Hows everyone else doing? Xx

 

[TTC74]

No news is not good news from me. Oh well.

Anyone have any thoughts on potty training a 2.5 year old who gets the potty, puts her babies on the potty, etc. but screams if you try to put her on the pantless?

 

[Wish2BMom]

mum you look lovely!! I'm glad the sciatica is wearing off too - I'm sure you feel so relieved! You must have your big scan coming up right? are you going to find out gender?

TTC - I'm so sorry!
I wish i had advice for you - I've heard of stickers, candies, all but throwing a damn party whenever the potty has been used successfully but never screaming before one is even on the throne!
I've been thinking of maybe trying out the boys on the potty already. Or at least having it around and starting to talk about it. Kinda thinking of making it a part of conversation before they get even more strong will and opinions! And they are somewhat like clockwork with their pooping so maybe if I suggest going to the potty after breakfast or something, they might make that part of their routine. Tough thing is, though, we currently only have one. So I need to get another. In fact, I'd like to get 3 more - 2 for upstairs, 2 for downstairs. I don't envision screaming but I also don't envision anyone sitting down for longer than 5 seconds...so both will probably happen.

 

[mumof1+1]

mum you look lovely!! I'm glad the sciatica is wearing off too - I'm sure you feel so relieved! You must have your big scan coming up right? are you going to find out gender?

Awww thank you. It’s on and off at the moment. Luckily more off than on! Yes my scan is Monday and fingers crossed I’ll be finding out x

 

[mikihope]

Wish- Unfortunately, I couldn’t really work from home the entire time, I did maybe half a day’s worth of stuff (mostly email and paperwork). It was so frustrating, plus it is awful to bring all equipment and electronics down and up again. We lose so much time and there are always several pieces of (expensive) equipment that are faulty or completely broken when the power comes back on. The power company didn’t keep up with maintenance and spent money on themselves and shareholders. Now we pay for their mistakes with higher bills and random planned blackouts. Boo.
Oh, I hope we can make some new friends soon. We have some friends here that are just too far away to drive to, due to us constantly moving, so we’re down to seeing them maybe twice a year now. That’s sad for you, I never thought about losing friends that way. I guess I always had the naive thought that everyone in the same circle of friends would have their kids playing and going to school together. It’s sad when friends drift away, I'm sorry you've had that experience. But I guess it’s exciting when we make great new friends!

TTC- So sorry it wasn’t good news for you. I’m hoping for a sticky bean for you and Bella in the near future! I hope potty training goes well too, it has always scared me for some reason. I’m really impressed that Wish is already ready to tackle potty training for her two boys. I’ve been putting it out of my mind and telling myself it’s way too early for Kai.

Mum- Your bump is lovely! Mine still looks to me like I only have some awful flab around my middle. I’m excited for your scan, I hope you find out the gender of your little bean! Are you feeling movement these days? The movements are actually now strong enough to make me uncomfortable. I feel strong kicks, and all of a sudden after dinner tonight there was so much kicking and moving for so long that I got worried. It seems so early to feel uncomfortable, plus I worry about so much movement. I got really afraid that he was distressed. Ugh, so much to worry about!

How is everyone else? Wicky, I hope you're doing ok, haven't heard from you in a while...

 

[Wish2BMom]

Hi all! I hope you've all had a great week!

mum - hooray for the big scan! GOOD LUCK!! I hope you get to find out gender too! Please share if you're open to it! Have you all started thinking of names yet?

miki - are things up and running again? yeah, the CA power company has not gotten good reviews in the news this year - weren't they the reason that HUGE forest fire started earlier this year? faulty, old wiring or something? So awful. I get so sad when I see all of the environmental issues happening and they all stem back to one thing - money. There is so much greed in the world.
You are such a worry wart, it's cute Your baby kicking you around I'm sure is just fine - just a dancing baby. I remember getting concerned when Baby A (Timothy) wasn't rustling around after breakfast once. Food always got them going and he just wasn't responding this time. I drank a little root beer and he started moving around a bit. He was fine, just sleepy that morning, I guess! It's so hard not to worry, huh?
I know, I'm thinking about potty training probably too early but those I ask who have gone through it say no way, start now. It can't hurt! And I don't mean stick them on the potty for 20 mins at a time now, I just mean bring the thing into the bathroom, start showing them what it's for, start talking about it. Sounds gross but I showed Timothy his poopy diaper this morning b/c he's starting to point to all diapers or his bum after he does anything and say 'poop'. So I want him to see there is a difference and so he knows what I'm referencing when I say it. I foresee a lot more 'poop talk' in our future!

TTC - speaking of, any progress?

wicky - we miss you!

wanting - how is your journey going?

Not much new here - packed weekend coming up. My Gym for the boys, of course, lunch with a friend tomorrow, a bday party for a daughter of those aforementioned friends that have all but forgotten us. I guess we are still invited to bday parties. Neither DH or I really want to go but the boys will have fun. It's at another indoor gym-like place. But for us, it'll be filled with 'how are you guys? we miss you! we should get together soon! omg the boys are so big now! you must be so tired!' blah blah blah...
I know what you mean, miki, about having that vision for you and your friends all having kids. But it seems if they are not all the same age, then that's where the issue comes in. And because it took us so long to have kids, we have an age gap between the boys and everyone else's kids. And the age gap between a 4 and 1 yr old is HUGE when they are little. Then the older ones get into their activities while you're still weaning off bottles and whatever. So the part of the timeline you are in doesn't match your friends' and they just end up gravitating towards other people in their situation, who they can hang out with while their kids are occupied and hanging out with friends of their same age. Though we do have other friends who have older kids (ages 4-8) and we all manage to stay in touch quite well. We don't see each other as often as we'd like but there are group texts, attempts at girls nights or dinner. And even one of those couples lives 2 states away (this is the couple who celebrated a 40th in Vegas this summer that we went to). So - this really just shows to us that the friends we lost, we lost b/c our friendship wasn't strong enough to begin with. And now we are just Birthday Party invitees. Booo.

 

[mumof1+1]

mum - hooray for the big scan! GOOD LUCK!! I hope you get to find out gender too! Please share if you're open to it! Have you all started thinking of names yet?.

Thank you. Yes I’ll share if it’s a certain answer. Leaving names until I know what baby is.
Soon be Monday! Xx

 

[Wish2BMom]

Good luck today, Mum!! it's such a cool scan to have!! I loved it so much i'm still living vicariously through you two so you have no choice but to share!

how is everyone this fine Monday? it's gloomy here but that's ok. I love me a gloomy, rainy fall day. Weird like that.

 

[mumof1+1]

Bless you wish.
Well I can safely say this little one is the most un co-operative little one I have ever carried!!! Baby was laid awkward and refused to move! The lady struggled to get the spinal view and measurements she wanted so it was touch and go if I’d have to go back! But, after running up and down 3 small flights of stairs baby moved so the lady got what she needed! It was good though in a way because it meant we got to see lots of baby thrashing about which was nice. All looks very well.
Consultant I didn’t like to be honest. He seemed very smug and a bit arrogant. He doesn’t want me to go ahead with my planned homebirth. Apparently because my 1st baby was only 5lb 13oz they’re making me have 3 more scans (not that I’m complaining! Get to see baby more!!) so booked for 28, 32 and 36 weeks and he mentioned discussing induction at 39 weeks ish. I suppose the advantage to that is we’ll know roughly when baby will be joining us and it may mean baby is a little smaller so will get a bit more of the newborn phase. Who knows. She measured baby to be around 12oz today. Awwwww. Bought a little snowsuit type thing when I got home. In order to help me accept the gender I believe maybe???? Well. I wanted a boy. But we’re having a princess instead! Xxx

 

[TTC74]

No progress here. Her school said they were finally able to get her pants down and get her on the potty and went on to illustrate. So, I got her home and tried the same thing. Melt down.

 

[TTC74]

I quit keeping a chart a couple of months ago after keeping one for 2 years prior to Bella's birth and 2.5 years after. So, I know what my normal temps look like, but didn't confirm date of O this month. I am going strictly based on OPKs.

Any chance I geared up to O and did not O? I had some spotting 10 days ago. Could that have been O spotting? I think I've only gotten that once previously but this whole situation is just so weird. My bbt is 98.4. My normal LH bbt is 97.8 or a tad higher. And where the hell is AF? If I'm 14 DPO, I should have spotted all day 12 DPO and started a full flow yesterday.

I know it's possible that AF is just late, too. The bbt thing has me thrown for a loop, though.

 

[Wish2BMom]

mum - congratulations on the pink little bundle!! That's so funny how you had to work for a proper scan! she's already being defiant! oh the little coos and toothless smiles you have in your future again. I've been watching videos of my pumpkins only days or weeks old and it all seems like such a blur.

ttc - ugh, i'm so sorry!! Miss Bella, listen to your mommy and give her wallet a break so she doesn't have to buy diapers anymore!!
And I think it's altogether possible you didn't O. Crazier things have happened, could be the season changes, could be hormonal. Could just be regular old 'being female'. I hope AF gets here soon so you can start again, though. Or NOT come and give you a surprise!

I think I'm going to give myself the gift of no more hormones for my 44th bday this year. It's in December and I think I'm going to get my IUD out. Periods be damned, I'm kinda all set with experiencing every other little part of AF except the bleeding part (chin breaks out, water retention, exhaustion, headaches, etc) and I realized that as of 44, i'll have been in a hormone-enhanced state for 30 yrs of my life. So I'm going to end that. Go me!

ugh, sickness season has started! Malcolm has been home 2x in the past week - last week with a fever and yesterday for vomiting at school. He got sick Sunday night too but we just thought it was from overexcitement/running around at the bday party we went to later in the day. Nope. Little stomach bug, I guess. Without the fever. But he was fine the rest of the day, took over a 3 hr nap, and went in today. All is well for now!