Biggest shock ever.

[WantingABubba]

Hi, I've just left my teens but still feeling extremely overwhelmed. I'm 20 and have just found out I'm pregnant. Clearblue puts me at 5+ weeks.

I have been seeing this guy for just over 8 months. However, due to his commitment and 'Mummy' issues, we have not been official. He had changed a lot in terms of being responsible and showing his care, but we were working on things. However, after being let down numerous times by him, I finally decided it was time to walk away once and for all.

I called the Father and he sadly doesn't want to know :'( he was trying to tell me to have an abortion, knowing full well I can't do that. He then said he's not involved. I don't even want to be in a relationship with him now, knowing how irresponsible he is. I just want my child to have a Daddy who loves them. It breaks my heart to think they're unlikely to have that and I blame myself for it.

I haven't been able to confirm my pregnancy with a medical professional yet as I just found out, clinics and doctor's are closed. I am desperate to confirm it, though, because I still don't believe it. Will be going doctors tomorrow.

I was supposed to be starting university in September, and I still am determined to go, but it's going to be VERY hard now. I don't know how I'm going to do it. I've always wanted children but not now, not as a single Mum, not when I am building my future. I am angry and ashamed at myself for letting this happen. I should have been more careful.

On the other hand, this is my BABY and I am excited. My aim is to become a midwife and I have always lived, breathed and farted pregnancy and baby. I love my little bean already.

I just can't believe this

 

[missl1]

Hello hun im Lauren and im 19 congratulations hun.ignore him it might be hard at first being a single mum but plenty of people do it better than being in a unhappy relationship I have friends who have done it on there own and done it really well the baby dad needs to realise the bond we have like im at stage I see and feel my baby and he responds to mine and his dads voice its the most amazing feeling ever.and when you have your scan all you will wanna do is protect that baby and it won't matter on your own or not maybe he is just shocked and he will cons around when you show him the scan hehe should of thought of the consequence before having sex.it might be hard but it will be the best decision you.makeq to keep.and look.after your baby hope all works out for you Xx

 

[skyesmom]

hey hon! congratulations on your pregnancy!

that said, don't make conclusions too fast on how FOB reacted! i've seen grown up men well in their 30s' who WANTED and PLANNED to become fathers COMPLETELY freak out when the baby is actually on the way. see how shocked you are? he' as shocked as you do. plus, he lacks all the instinctive hormonal strength you are having now as the baby is all yours and inside of you!

so give him time, he may as well come around to the idea and to you and your baby. you never know what can happen! and if you really want to be a midwife, maybe having a baby at your age is the best thing ever: sure, it will make your studies and your career harder, when it comes to learning things on the books. BUT it will give you an EXPERIENCE of being a mother and a woman who has carried a child AND given birth. AND THIS is a PRICELESS thing to have when you work as a midwife. you can empathize with your patients, help them better as you'll understand first hand how it feels and u will be able to communicate with them better, which makes u a better midwife in the end.

and remember: there's no better way to learn then doing it yourself.

 

[rosesmummy]

Hi

CONGRATULATIONS MUMMYYYY TO BE!!!!

Sorry to read about the father but you know what theres lots of people who do it on there own and sometimes I think at points it would be easier (because you dont have to 'argue' over who's doing all the night feeds or nappy changes etc!)

I think you will be hard pushed to start uni this sept with a newborn. I would suggest waiting until your LO turns 1 year old before starting uni. Of course its all your choice but that first year of bubba is pretty damn hard. First year of uni is easy but it will be pretty difficult when you're completely sleep deprived.


good luck x

 

[Mummy2Be_at20]

congrats! I am also 20 and pregnant i'm not sure how far along I am yet, but I think I am around 4-5 weeks. I also haven't been to the doctor but i've taken 5 clearblue tests so any doubt i had is gone. I am also really scared, I was attending college to get a pre-law degree but i'm taking this semester off to work and save up for baby also changing to a less time consuming degree (criminal justice). If you need any advice or anyone to talk to, i'm here since we'll probably be going through the same things around the same time.

 

[x__amour]

Welcome and congratulations! I'm Shannon, 21, and I have a 2 year old named Victoria "Tori"!

 

[ClairAye]

Congratulations and welcome :wave:

My name is Clair, I'm 18, I have a 14 month old son and I am 20 weeks pregnant with out second baby - Team

Sorry about FOB, but it's great you're still determined!

 

[WantingABubba]

Congratulations and welcome :wave:

My name is Clair, I'm 18, I have a 14 month old son and I am 20 weeks pregnant with out second baby - Team

Sorry about FOB, but it's great you're still determined!

Thank you and hello!

Congratulations to you

 

[WantingABubba]

Hello hun im Lauren and im 19 congratulations hun.ignore him it might be hard at first being a single mum but plenty of people do it better than being in a unhappy relationship I have friends who have done it on there own and done it really well the baby dad needs to realise the bond we have like im at stage I see and feel my baby and he responds to mine and his dads voice its the most amazing feeling ever.and when you have your scan all you will wanna do is protect that baby and it won't matter on your own or not maybe he is just shocked and he will cons around when you show him the scan hehe should of thought of the consequence before having sex.it might be hard but it will be the best decision you.makeq to keep.and look.after your baby hope all works out for you Xx

Thank you. He is slowly being more understanding but now he's talking about working in Dubai! I just want him to support me and love our baby still, at least he is talking to me and he did come down to see me today. Only time will tell, but I am expecting and preparing to do this alone.

And exactly! That's what I said to him today. We both knew I could get pregnant, I knew that if it happened, I have to take responsibility. He knew that too but today he said he 'completely forgot' that I could get pregnant! Grr.

Thanks hun xx

 

[kailynn]

Welcome and Congratulations! Sorry to hear about your FOB, but things will work out for the best with everything else.

I'm Kaleigh, 20, and 24 weeks with our first, a little girl called MaKinley Grace

 

[skyesmom]

today he said he 'completely forgot' that I could get pregnant! Grr.

hahaha LMAO!!! men can really come out with some silly things to say!

my best friend came out with "omg, how did THAT happen???" when they fell pregnant after 2 months of TTC. everyday.

 

[WantingABubba]

today he said he 'completely forgot' that I could get pregnant! Grr.

hahaha LMAO!!! men can really come out with some silly things to say!

my best friend came out with "omg, how did THAT happen???" when they fell pregnant after 2 months of TTC. everyday.

I know, right?! Like, come on

 

[WantingABubba]

Welcome and Congratulations! Sorry to hear about your FOB, but things will work out for the best with everything else.

I'm Kaleigh, 20, and 24 weeks with our first, a little girl called MaKinley Grace

Thank you! I hope so. Maybe he'll warm to the baby when I'm showing, I can show him scan pics, recordings of heartbearts etc?

And hi, congrats!

 

[WantingABubba]

congrats! I am also 20 and pregnant i'm not sure how far along I am yet, but I think I am around 4-5 weeks. I also haven't been to the doctor but i've taken 5 clearblue tests so any doubt i had is gone. I am also really scared, I was attending college to get a pre-law degree but i'm taking this semester off to work and save up for baby also changing to a less time consuming degree (criminal justice). If you need any advice or anyone to talk to, i'm here since we'll probably be going through the same things around the same time.

Thank you! You're so pretty! Is your baby going to be biracial? I'm biracial with black Mum, white Dad and FOB is Bengali! No idea what bubba's gonna look like!

I know what you mean about being scared. I would LOVE to be bump buddies! We can support each other PM me if you like xx

 

[WantingABubba]

Welcome and congratulations! I'm Shannon, 21, and I have a 2 year old named Victoria "Tori"!

I think I remember you from when I was TTC!

 

[WantingABubba]

Hi

CONGRATULATIONS MUMMYYYY TO BE!!!!

Sorry to read about the father but you know what theres lots of people who do it on there own and sometimes I think at points it would be easier (because you dont have to 'argue' over who's doing all the night feeds or nappy changes etc!)

I think you will be hard pushed to start uni this sept with a newborn. I would suggest waiting until your LO turns 1 year old before starting uni. Of course its all your choice but that first year of bubba is pretty damn hard. First year of uni is easy but it will be pretty difficult when you're completely sleep deprived.


good luck x

Thanks honey!

Yeah, you're right. I plan to cloth diaper, breast feed and babywear and I can see myself getting annoyed with him. The conventional way is hard enough and I don't know if he would have the patience. Still, I really, really want him to be involved.

Yeah, it would be very, very hard. If I have a place (I find out next week) I'm going to ask if they can defer me for a year. However, if not, I'm going to risk it and go for it, because it's a really good uni and I fought so hard for the place!

I just hope, hope everything works out for me!

xx

 

[beanzz]

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

 

[WantingABubba]

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Thank you!