Birth Certificate question

[teal]

I'm not going to put the babys fathers name on the birth certificate. My ex ended things when I refused to have a termination and I've not spoken to him since the middle of June.

I know it's a while away yet but I was just wondering if I would have to explain why I wasn't naming him?

(I'm in Scotland if it matters)

xx

 

[honey08]

not in uk, they have to be there anyways so if he aint they wont say nowt x

 

[teal]

Thanks - I just wasn't sure what would happen xx

 

[honey08]

might b different there tho ;?

 

[purpledahlia]

Its the same im sure, you cant put him on without him physically signing and he cant put you on etc. Both have to be there, if he isnt then you just leave it blank and sign... dont think they ask where or why its none of their buisness.. ive never heard of having to tell them.. if you do just say unknown, they wont ask anymore.

 

[edinsam]

ive just done it in Edin and not asked and no awkward questions

 

[teal]

Thank you for the replies

 

[Lexi's Mummy]

when i did mine and shyly said unknown, she just looked and said, "aww thats a shame"
patronisin cow lol, but that was all and im sure that was just her as a person xxx

 

[teal]

I appreciate all the replies
I think if they did question I would also say unknown. I'm glad it sounds like they won't be questioning it though. My ex has made it clear he wants nothing to do with the baby so he won't be there to sign anything.

xx

 

[purpledahlia]

at 16 weeks tho.. u never know. still a long way to go he MAY be in touch, be prepared if he does. x (FOB got in touch with me when i was almost 20 weeks and now wants to be at the birth and in her life)

 

[woadie]

Don't worry teal... had the same here, FOB told me to foop off he didn't love me, a few days after the happy happy joy joy acting (he was good lol, definate BAFTA) and I haven't heard anything since...

I won't say unknown, I'll say not interested, decided being a father was a job way below his life status of Play Stations, X-Box's and growing pansies... lol...

me win he lose. Baby gets the better surname

 

[teal]

Even if he is in touch again I doubt I would put his name on the birth certificate anyway.

He let me know he is changing his phone numbers so I can't contact him. At the moment I'm not feeling too comfortable knowing that I'm unable to contact him but he has the ability to just contact me whenever he feels like it.

That being said I wouldn't stop him if he did change his mind and decide he wanted to be a part of the babys life but in all honesty I don't think he will. It's still always somewhere in my mind that I might get a random text from him..

I agree woadie that we will win and they'll lose

 

[purpledahlia]

The reason some people have to say unknown is purely because thats legally allowed.. some places DO ask st the hospital but if you say not interested it will bring on more questions, you have to say unknown. nobody wants too.. unless they really dont know which wud be gash... :/ But its a legally accepted term when it comes to birth certificate's etc. If you just say not interested they will probe and i dont think its a term they accept when/if they ask.

 

[woadie]

So, if they probe... what do you mean? The hospital will ask more? I'm happy to give them all the info they want about the SOB lol, it won't make it any more likely he's going to be on the certificate or want to be really . I'm even happy to take along a print out of the email he wrote me where he states no further interest in the child. But I don't want to say unknown. I want to tell the world what a sh*thead he's been really. Not make it sound as if he was just meaningless, because at the time he was far from it. And I can add all the emails and texts and friends testimonials that it wasn't some meaningless unknown. All the statements of declared undying love until the bombshell of pregnancy, all the 'I miss you texts'.

So, not interested is not legally allowed but unknown is? That doesn't seem quite right from my position really.

Unknown is not an option in my world. I could never live with myself for saying it, regardless of if the certificate has a blank space under father.

 

[purpledahlia]

Im not sure the details but i read it in a couple of articles a while back. That if they ask where the father is or why hes not there then they get involved if you say not interested but if u say unknown - whether he is or not - then they leave u to it. Ill try find the article but it was before i fell pregnant. It was more the hospitals who asked .. i think it varies a lot from area to area, maybe you can ring your CAB just to ask what happens in your area with regards to singing birth certificates single, I just know that if u say '' unknown '' its '' recognised '' ..... Dont think anyone wants to say that we all want the world to knw the guys are shit's but in some areas some people are advised to just say unknown then thats it dropped. i dunno.

 

[woadie]

That would be great if you could find it, thanks... it would be interesting to read... the FOB would have a complete duckfit if they got in touch with him, actually, it would be worth it... that's made me laugh thanks! He doesn't even know if I kept it right now lol

 

[purpledahlia]

doesnt he?? haaha!! that would be interesting!! If your planning on going to CSA will he just find out he has a child then?? i think thats great. haha!

 

[woadie]

Ah no he hasn't a clue... I figured that he won't know until the CSA write to him. He told me if I decided to keep it, I knew where he lived for the CSA anyway! I've just carried on as normal; we were both moderators for a big forum... he has disappeared and my two close online friends know what he did, both utterly appalled and said he wouldn't show his face again for the indignity... it makes me laugh because everything is as usual and I am online as ever, so if he ever sneaks a look he won't know what to think... did she or didn't she? LOL! And what he has to live with...

The best bit is when the CSA get in touch... he lives with parents (ha! at his age!)... and Dad has HIS NAME! I want to know who opens the letter lol.... I wonder if the CSA mark their envelopes lol

 

[purpledahlia]

thats hilarious!!!! i hope his dad opens the letter!!! hahaha

 

[teal]

The reason some people have to say unknown is purely because thats legally allowed.. some places DO ask st the hospital but if you say not interested it will bring on more questions, you have to say unknown. nobody wants too.. unless they really dont know which wud be gash... :/ But its a legally accepted term when it comes to birth certificate's etc. If you just say not interested they will probe and i dont think its a term they accept when/if they ask.

Thanks for that. I'll keep that in mind when I'm going to register the birth. I know that I wouldn't really want to say unknown but if it's accepted and won't invite probing then that's what I'll go with xx