Birth is not only...

[JayDanny]

i'm afraid to say MY personal believe is the same as the OP's


but its my view and i respect that of others, its your body you do what you want with it.

for me i am going to try and be as natural as possible, i've just completed a degree in anthropology so know the workings of the pelvis, childbirth etc etc, how the pelivs has changed since becoming bi-pedal and is not adapted of large headed babys.....

but i belive that 500yrs so there were no epidurals etc and woman coped with the pain just fine..... they strangled their husbands given half the chance


my view is this is what my body is deisgned for, however i also had added compications of spina bifida and a previously broken back. but i will give it a damned good shot at doing it with no pain relief.

if i need drugs however i will be taking what i can get my hands on, but i would just like to try the whole experience, i was told last yr i couldn't have kids and my first thought weirdly was but i will never know if my body can cope with labour, i felt like i had been robbed.

Understanding what happens to your body during childbirth makes it easier to accept the pain, relax and allow your body to do what it is supposed to. I hope all goes well with your labor. Remember there is no such thing as "chickening out" so don't feel bad or guilty if things don't go according to your plans.

 

[DaisyBee]

I had an epidural and don't feel like I'm any less of a mom or didn't find my inner strength. I was induced at 37 weeks because they thought Megan had stopped growing. Medically they thought it was necessary to get her out ASAP. So being strapped to the iv for the pitocin and my other arm attached to a blood pressure cuff I wasn't allowed in a tub, I wasn't allowed to walk. My only options were to be 2 feet away from my bed either standing leaning against the bed, on the birthing ball, or on my bed. After they broke my water I did not have the strength to get off the bed. My body was shaking so bad that I couldn't stand. I then was in bed. I was not tolerating it well. I made the decision to have the epidural and very glad that I did. I don't feel bad or guilty at all about it. I then was able to enjoy my delivery as was able to be present. Otherwise I would not have been....

I don't think it's fair of the op to put judgment on women that choose something different than what she would choose.

 

[JayDanny]

Birth is also about screaming bloody murder at whoever dares to come near you

The only person I yelled at was my poor DH. Poor guy, he had really bad gas and his burps were literally making me vomit! It's funny now but at the time I was pd.

 

[sequeena]

Birth is also about screaming bloody murder at whoever dares to come near you

The only person I yelled at was my poor DH. Poor guy, he had really bad gas and his burps were literally making me vomit! It's funny now but at the time I was pd.

Oh no!!

I was monitored quite a lot during labour because of the problems I had during pregnancy and it got to the point that I did not want to be touched at all so when the midwives were monitoring Thomas' heartbeat I begged them to stop touching me... in the end I called them c*nts! It stopped them touching me though poor OH didn't know what to do, one minute I'd hold his hand and he'd wet my forehead the next I've be trying to bite his hand off

 

[NaturalMomma]

Hmm, I've never took that quote as for NCB. I took it as women are strong and instinctive mothers, regradless of how you gave birth.

 

[JayDanny]

Birth is also about screaming bloody murder at whoever dares to come near you

The only person I yelled at was my poor DH. Poor guy, he had really bad gas and his burps were literally making me vomit! It's funny now but at the time I was pd.

Oh no!!

I was monitored quite a lot during labour because of the problems I had during pregnancy and it got to the point that I did not want to be touched at all so when the midwives were monitoring Thomas' heartbeat I begged them to stop touching me... in the end I called them c*nts! It stopped them touching me though poor OH didn't know what to do, one minute I'd hold his hand and he'd wet my forehead the next I've be trying to bite his hand off

Lmao! Yeah, I was the same way. Finally I just told him to leave because I didn't want to stress him out and/or say something mean I would regret. But in the end when she started to crown his face was the only one I wanted to see and the only hand I wanted to hold. I NEEDED him at that point of no return! lol Oh man he loves me. I need to give him a kiss now.

My mom is a midwife and she said that one time a woman was so uncontrollable that she tried to deck my mom! Barely missed my mom because my mom grabbed her wrist and got into her face and said that if she tried that again my mom would press charges against her and that being in labor was no excuse for violence. The story still cracks me up but my mom doesn't think it's funny.

 

[nov_mum]

I took the post to be offering encouragement to women and celebrating child birth : )

 

[cupcake]

I know I am going to be slated for saying this but I don't care, since when has giving birth been a testimony to who you are as a woman? sometimes i think all these birth plans and philosophies are focused on way too much, its about having a baby, that is born healthy and then raising that child the best way you know how. nobody cares how i gave birth ( except for other expecting moms who want to know what their experience might be like), no one is going to give me a medal for having an epidural or not, no one is going to see my kid misbehave and be like, "oh he must have been a epidural baby" or "he must have been a natural birth"

yes we have all had good experience and bad ones, sometimes things go the way we would like it , sometimes not and we have to get over it and work through it, thats the way life is. I'm sorry if its a bit of a rant, but I am a little annoyed by all these signatures too stating a bajillion things about you as a mom, you are either a blw, co-sleeping, bf, etc etc.. lets just be moms and not judge each other

I am sure op was just trying to give some encouragement for those who want to do natural labor, so lets not turn this into an argument, at the same time OP statements like you made were not fair to those who cannot or don't want to birth naturally.

Edit: obviously my statement about things not going planned is not meant to be insensitive to those who have gone through tragedy, I am just stating that if something doesn't go as we want , somehow we have to deal with that in our lives, I mean no insensitivity to those in pain and hope it won't be perceived that way

op your post
It should have gone in the natural parenting section.

 

[nov_mum]

I think labour,birthing, mothering are all wonderful things that we as women are capable of. I don't think it's abut gratification from others. Most don't have home births to prove anything to anyone. It's about your personal experience and what it means to you and your family. I don't think it is unfair to talk about labour and birth around those that have opted not or had no choice in not being able to labour. One woman's experience shouldn't detract from another's and it shouldn't make going through labour something to be ashamed of or seen as an 'alternative' that gets relegated to sub forums. There are plenty of threads about c section that don't attract controversy fpr being unfair to those who choose vaginal births.

I personally am really proud of my body for growing and delivering two, nearly three children. I think that is worth celebrating and my medals I get to cuddle every day. I don't expect anyone else to care but it's not about anyone else is it?

 

[cherryglitter]

I'm not talking about you I am talking about the 66% of women who have epidurals. And less the 5% of women actually need a C-section. It's not my fault if you take offense to something that OBVIOUSLY doesn't have to do with you.

Cheeeeers!
it is to do with me and i will take offense.

i felt like complete shit after having jake because i felt like my body had completely failed me and him. i ended up with a forceps delivery, after an induction after being 2 weeks late.
and i believe that these attitudes made it a lot worse for me.

 

[nickyXjayno]

Not all mothers can birth naturally, it's not a question of inner strength, sometimes it's a medical impossibility or just plain dangerous to both mother and baby.

You're unfairly belittling women who don't give birth naturally.

Oooh for goodness sake get a grip!

Why can't women who want to be give birth naturally be praised for fear of offending those who can't?!
Just because one person does something another can't doesn't mean she shouldn't be made to feel great for it!!

oooh am sick of this forum and comments like that!!!

 

[cherryglitter]

^^ also doesn't mean someone else should be made to feel crap because of it either?! swings and roundabouts.

 

[nickyXjayno]

I am in no way against natural labor!! What I was saying is that people should be able to make their OWN PERSONAL CHOICE and not get put down for it whether it be natural or with epidural.

Where was she putting someone down?!

Why does praising someone for something automatically mean we are putting down another?

 

[nickyXjayno]

^^ also doesn't mean someone else should be made to feel crap because of it either?! swings and roundabouts.

where the hell is she making someone feel like crap?

If someone has an insecurity and takes offense to it then that's their problem because NO WHERE has she said you are a crap mum if you didn't give birth naturally.

 

[cherryglitter]

It about making mothers, strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strengths

OP is talking about women who have epidurals, who basically 'wimp' out of a natural birth. So yeah, i find that offensive. i take it as implying women who dont have natural births as not being the above?

 

[aliss]

Not to be pedantic but the OP is quoting another author

Anyways, it implies that women who use epidurals do not trust themselves and their inner strength.

I am 100% against epidurals personally, as my son suffered a severe complication from mine - BUT - my own negative experience (or another woman's positive experience of non-epidural birth) does not reflect a woman's inability to channel her "inner strength" - it simply means she has chosen to give birth with pain relief and that is her choice.

Yes, all women can labour without one, that is clear. However, that does not mean that an "inner strength" can deliver women from a horrifically traumatizing experience either. I had over 2 days of pitocin contractions and a ripped abdominal muscle part-way through (from violent contractions) and 4 hours pushing, no amount of inner strength could have helped me from wanting to cut my wrists with the scalpel I saw across the room. I am 100% traumatized from labour because of it and still freak out/cry when I see any sort of labour show on TV (even in the description).

 

[nickyXjayno]

It about making mothers, strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strengths

OP is talking about women who have epidurals, who basically 'wimp' out of a natural birth. So yeah, i find that offensive. i take it as implying women who dont have natural births as not being the above?

But it's sort of true, how can you know how strong you are and how much you can endure if you have never reached your limits?
Not just in childbirth but life in general.
Until you say run a marathon you wouldn't know your true physical capabilities.

People will only find something offensive if on some level they think it too, no matter how subconscious.

Yes I want a natural birth but if I don't because it's too painful or complications then I won't see myself as a failure or that this post or ones like it are deliberately putting me down.

At the end of the day if some woman has gone through hell and back in labour with no relief I find it awful that she can't be congratulated on it incase it offends others.
My mam had a c section but she isn't any less of a mum to me, best mummy in the world and would do anything for me and my sister.

What's the saying it's not the mouth it comes out of but the mind it goes into...

 

[DJJ]

"Birth is not only about making babies. It about making mothers, strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strengths." Barbara Katz Rothman

Just some encouragement that ALL women can birth naturally and find that inner strength.

When I read the quote I didnt relate it to any particular type of birth but the very fact of giving birth which ever way will bring out a womans strength. all births will cause a woman to make desisions that cant be easy but in the long run make them stronger.
It was the OP comment after the quote that seems to have got peoples back up.
I dont know where the quote is from so dont know if Ive read it out of context.

 

[DaisyBee]

I took offense to the ops statement-not to the quote. And her 2nd post responding back was rude as well.

I feel this post is putting down sections and epis more that praising natural childbirth only because of the words the op chose. When she says "ALL" women it's implying things. When she states epi rates, etc it changes the whole tone of the quote and post.

 

[Eternal]

I took offense to the ops statement-not to the quote. And her 2nd post responding back was rude as well.

I feel this post is putting down sections and epis more that praising natural childbirth only because of the words the op chose. When she says "ALL" women it's implying things. When she states epi rates, etc it changes the whole tone of the quote and post.

^^ WSS

Also added, to whoever said why shouldnt women who go to hell and back to have a natural childbirth be congratulated? They are, but why shouldnt every woman, no matter what their experience.

I think the majority of us would love a natural child birth, but it cant happen for some of us for whatever reasons. As for reaching your capabilities and having to experience natural to know yourself etc etc. then babies die, mothers die, we make decisions on what is best for us individually, no one will congratulate you if you describe to do it naturally against medical advice and baby or mother die.

At the end of the day we all our our own thersholds, as for the pain factor, yes i am sure every woman can endure it, but epidurals are used for assisted deliveries, sections or where its likely to be a section and various other reasons.

I would have loved to have a natural water birth with my son, and i was deversated when i was transfered 40 miles to hospital. If i didnt my baby could have died, im a good mum, i did what as right and i wont have people casting judgments on me for "failing" to have a fully natural birth.

No one is casting judgements or saying anything against natural birthing, i am sure most of the ladies who commented would have loved to and thats why we feel strongly about it. Stop casting judgments or thinking your better than someone else just because you got the birth you wanted and others didnt.

No one is slating the quote, it was the comments made that got people upset.