Birthday arty drama

[annio84]

so, my daughter and her best friend have their birthdays a few days apart and so her mum and I decided to have a joint party this year. It’s turning out to be a huge disaster though. We didn’t really talk about our expectations or anything before we went and booked and it turns out that they’re quite different. The other mum has invited a lot of her friends’ kids and because of that wanted to cap the number of school friends. I had assumed that a joint party meant a bigger party and that we would invite most of the class. Anyway, we managed to agree a guest list and sent out invites but now we’ve had 4 replies so far and they’ve all been no. I had a chat with the other mum the other day about it and suggested if we don’t get at least 7-8 school friends saying yes then I don’t think it’s worth having the party. She didn’t agree because we’ve already paid a deposit and she’s got enough yes replies from her friends’ kids. I’m feeling a bit stressed and annoyed about it. Even if 7 kids from school turn up in the end her daughter will still have twice as many guests as mine. I’m not really sure what to do about it, I don’t want to fall out with this other mum but I think she can’t afford this party without me contributing so she doesn’t care how my daughter will feel if her birthday party is mostly the other girls’ friends. The other thing is we’re having the party on a Tuesday in the first week of the summer holidays because she and her husband work shifts and I can’t help feel this is a big part of the reason we’ve not had any yes responses yet.

Sorry this is so long but any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[HLx]

It seems like your friends child is having it all when your not allowed your input despite paying for your half. If it was me I'd do 1 of 2 things, either pull out and do my own party, or invite the people I wanted or that my child wanted at the party, as it seems your friend has done that anyway, plus school friends are so important to have at parties, both my two have their school friends at their parties and they love it we invite the whole class! It gives them something to talk about in school and I have parents coming to me saying how excited their child is, I invite my kids out of school friends also and they all get on like a house in fire! If shes still not understanding or having any of it, then just be honest and say that you'll do your own party, good luck hun

Oh and I forgot to add that if enough school friends can't make it and it's only minimal friends attending, it would probably work out cheaper for you to do your own party, as most parties pay by head for food so you'll end up paying a higher amount for your friends kids friends, that's a mouthful lol

 

[annio84]

Thanks for your reply. I just really wish we'd never decided to do this in the first place. There are still a few days until all the rsvps need to be in so I might just wait it out a bit longer.

 

[HLx]

I understand hun, let me know how you get on with the outcome of the decision, it's an awkward one definitely!