birthday invitations 6 yo to be

[morri]

Just wondering a bit about it culturally .
My kid has bern adamant that she is not going to invite a kid to her birthday who she often plays with at playschool. She is also friends with her older sister ( the kid is 5 yo , older sister 7yo) and only wants to invite older sister. I checked a couple if times in a "neutral" way who shes going to invite. It is a few kids from playschool and her friend who attends primary school.
Now I neither want to override the wishes of my kid nor do I want to cause drama in her friends house. Also adding to that their moms drops my kid off often at a after playschool care as I am at varsity.
Now that mom is US expat and I have a terrible time deciphering US people culturally as unlike Germans they aren' t exactly known to be direct. Anyway I dont want to cause drama , any advice?

( I asked my kid why she didnt want to invite her other friend ( without citing " birth order horoscopes" she is a typical middle child ) , and she said it is because of her friend being too silly( class clown type) , and too monopolising her ( her friend only just turnt 5 so a full year younger I can imagine thats development) Therefore I could imagine that she would like to have a birthday with her other friends only)

 

[CaptainMummy]

Hnm. I'd probably tell your daughter that she can't invite one sister without the other. I wouldn't let my girls do that, if they were friends with two siblings and played with both often, I would invite both or none.
I get that you don't want to force her into inviting certain kids, but if it happened to mine, I wouldn't take either if I knew one had been purposely excluded, for being 'silly' and I would be shocked that a parent (who is aware that both siblings are this childs friend) would allow one to be left out like that.

 

[second.time]

I agree, I think this might be a case of both or none. It's understandable that your daughter might worry about a certain friend monopolizing or changing the atmosphere of the birthday party but I think it'd be too hurtful for kids that young to understand that a sibling is going to a mutual friend's party but the other one isn't invited. If somebody did that to my kids I would be a little resentful about causing hurt to one of my kids; kids can be SO sensitive to things like that and sibling rivalry pushes everything up to a higher level.

 

[catty]

It would have to be both or neither for me.

I have a 4&5 year old and if the child was friendly with both I'd feel a bit annoyed only one being invited. One because I'd have to explain and child would be upset and 2 I'd need to find childcare. (they are boy free and girl so it has sometimes happened where they might say there son just wants the boys in his class which is totally fine but think when it's mixed sex I'd find it a bit strange)

If you really want to go with your daughter's wish I also understand but just know the mother might not and probably not worth the hassle

 

[catty]

It would have to be both or neither for me.

I have a 4&5 year old and if the child was friendly with both I'd feel a bit annoyed only one being invited. One because I'd have to explain and child would be upset and 2 I'd need to find childcare. (they are boy and girl so it has sometimes happened where they might say there son just wants the boys in his class which is totally fine but think when it's mixed sex I'd find it a bit strange)

If you really want to go with your daughter's wish I also understand but just know the mother might not and probably not worth the hassle

 

[morri]

Thanks for the input . They also have another kid ( a 3 yo ) and it is on the weekend so child care wouldnt be an issue. luckily since another kid isnt coming she reconsidered and invited the sister too

 

[catty]

On looking at my earlier reply it isn't a massive dea. I don't expect all my kids to be invited at all. I just think sometimes it's just easier (if there all friends) but at the same time it's your child's party and your paying for its your choice. I did have one party where one child was invited and then they decided to invite the other child the week before it after I'd had to already explain they couldn't go which kind of was harder but kids don't usually care that much

 

[SarahBear]

I would tell my daughter that we can't invite just one. She would have to invite both. If I were on the receiving end of such an invitation, I would tell my younger child that it was a party for older kids.