Bit of a morbid question but...

[HoneyBee1508]

Have any of you ladies got a will detailing your wishes about what would happen to your little 'uns if anything ever happened to you?

It all started when I had a dream about me dying during childbirth (I'm 30 wks) and FOB deciding he wanted to take the baby (he's shown no interest so far) and play house with his gf.

It got me thinking about what would happen - would she automatically go to him? What would happen to all the cash in insurance payouts / house equity etc etc that I would leave to her?

Basically I want to ensure that if anything like this does happen she would go to my mum and dad and they would take control of the finances until she is old enough to do it herself.

Like I said, a morbid question but I have the heavy weight of impending responsibility on my mind!!

 

[Laura2919]

Oooooh yes! I most certainly have!

I am the same. I want my mum and dad to have the twins if anything was to happen and Mark to have them like he does now. There is no way I would let them bring up the girls!

But as for your dream its probably just nerves of having the baby alone which is doing that! If it makes you feel better you can have a will drawn up. I am looking into mine already

 

[scottishgal89]

i worried about this a lot when i was pregnant as i didnt want fob to end up with lo after the way he had acted towards me and i also worried about dying during childbirth.
i still havent looked into it but will when i get the chance and can afford it.

 

[bloodbinds]

I have insurance and a Will which says exactly what is to happen to Bella and the money i'm leaving her. FOB is not on birth certificate so has no claim over my child, also shown no interest in her so far, so Bella will go to my sister and brother-in-law as my Will states.

 

[scottishgal89]

see my problem is- arsehole is on birth cert.
so will need to ask lawyer about that when things calm down here.
i dont know the rules or anything

 

[Laura2919]

Yeah the twins dad is on theirs too! I wouldnt want them to go to him! I would want them to stay with my mum! Its definitely something we all should think about anyway!

 

[bloodbinds]

FOB was going to be on birth cert then he decided he didn't want to stay around long enough to register the birth, i told him if he left he wouldnt be put on the cert, and he didnt care. He doesn't deserve to be a father! And poor Bella deserves to be looked after by people who love her and deserve her and can give her the best life possible! That couldn't be done with FOB around, so i've made every step possible to make sure Bella will be given to my family and will be well looked after by the people i choose, if something were to happen to me!

 

[AppleBlossom]

I just recently made a Will. FOB is on the birth certificate so I was worried he would automatically get Grace if anything happened but he doesn't if I specifically say so in my Will. So she will be going to my parents and anything I have in terms of money/estate will go to her

 

[HoneyBee1508]

Thanks for all your replies, I know it's not the nicest thing to think about but it's got to be done!! Am I right in thinking though that in terms of custody you can only put an expression of wish, and anything you put in your will is not legally binding (apart from the money side)?

 

[sweetlullaby]

Yep I think you're right HoneyBee. Technically you can make a will stating that LO goes to your parents for example but FOB can take your family to court to get custody though in alot of cases I would say that's pretty unlikely to happen!

I havn't made my will/sorted life insurance yet....need to look into it when I have some more money!

 

[AppleBlossom]

My solicitor said it's legally binding although I suppose they could take your family to court but I doubt he would get anywhere because I have expressed my wishes as her primary carer in a legal situation and as he is a deadbeat dead that has done nothing but cause us grief I would say that wouldn't work in his favour. It is something I was terrified of as if FOB got her my family would never see her again

 

[sweetlullaby]

Im not entirely sure but I think sort of if you were married said in a will oh I want my 2nd cousin from ....Egypt to raise LO if anything happened to me then the courts can overrule that etc. Depends on the situation I'd guess

 

[AppleBlossom]

Yeah I think appointed guardians have to be within reason. Because FOB is on the BC he is still entitled to see Grace so I couldn't say I wanted like, my Auntie in Belfast to be her guardian as it means he wouldn't get to see her. My parents live over the road from me so it's not far fetched. Plus thankfully we were never married

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

I keep meaning to get around to this! ... i don't have a solicitor at the moment, so i keep forgetting to get round to it ! can actually email my will to the company my parents use.. so i might do that its still 100 pounds tho! :/ x

 

[HoneyBee1508]

Don't they do online wills now? Not as fancy I'm sure but waaay cheaper and still getting your wishes put down in writing?

 

[madmumofmany]

I really hadn't thought about it but as i really wouldn't want my lo's to go to their dad i guess i should.
Thanks ladies

 

[KaeRit21]

i have done...if anything happens to me (god forbid for myself or anyone ladies!) then Ellis goes to my Brother and SIL. theres no way in hell im letting fob have him in anyway shape or form. i think its a good idea to draw something like this up...if only for your own peice of mind...

xxx

 

[Peas]

i did an 'in the event of my death' statement in word last week. Hoping to pass it to a solicitor. The thought of my child going to the fob and his mother makes me want to cry.

 

[purpledahlia]

I've not got around to it yet but its defintaley something i will be doing!

 

[Kte]

I really need to do something like this, great thread