bit upset at my husband

[funinthesun]

I'm 37 weeks pregnant today. My husband has not shown a lot of interest in getting the nursery ready or buying products for the baby.

We ordered the cot and change table online and they arrived a few weeks ago. My husband said he will put them together. He hasn't done this yet and they are still sitting in their original packaging on the floor. Yesterday he had the day off work and it was pouring with rain and he just sat on the couch watching motor sport the whole day.

I wanted to choose the baby car seat and pram with him and was begging him for weeks to sit down with me and look at some online. We ordered them only a couple of weeks ago. Now I have found out the car seat is out of stock and will take another two weeks to arrive. I will be 39 weeks pregnant by then. So it may not even be here and installed if the baby comes before the due date. I'm just frustrated because we could have ordered these things a long time ago.

When I was about 20 weeks pregnant we went to Mothercare and I saw a diaper bag I wanted to buy. My husband said we have plenty of time, get it later on. Now Mothercare in Australia is closing down and I can't get the bag. I have seen a lot of diaper bags I like online but they are mostly from US websites which don't ship to Australia.

 

[twiggy327]

Having similar problems with my husband as well. We haven't done a thing for LOs nursery yet. I have the crib, swing, bath tub, and bouncer from my first child which is still in the attic. I had to buy the new stroller, carseat, diaper bag, bedding, and pretty much everything else on my own with my mum. He showed absolutely no interest in helping or offering an opinion. Im only 29 weeks tho. You are pushing it at 37 weeks. We got my 5 year old a loft bed about a month ago and it sat in the boxes on the porch for over a week until I dragged them into the house myself and started putting it together right in front of him. Then I guess he felt bad and finished. I would suggest waiting for him to be sitting on his butt and make it known youll do it yourself if he wont help you...worked for me. Good luck

 

[Duejan2012]

I had this problem with my first baby as well. We had nothing set up. Even when i was 38 39 weeks. I kept saying ya let get moving it can be any day. Nothing got done until i started setting things up. Bam he helped and things got done just in time. Now i have just learned as soon as we get something i start putting it together and he will just come and help. So i agree wit the pp if you start putting things together right infront of him i bet he will get up and help. i hope things work out for you xx

 

[HHenderson]

This is why I did everything. Its another girl so I dont need approval over 'manly' like items. I also put everything together myself as usual. I am a bit of a control freak tho. =)

 

[AAttcabby]

My husband is the same way. I find that if I start doing something that I'm not suppose to be doing, like building a crib, he will jump up and take over real fast. I have been using this trick for a while. I even when to the extreme by getting our air compressor out and the nail gun to finish the trim along the floor in the baby's room. That really got him moving

Just don't over do it. Or keep reminding him that in 3 or less weeks you are gonna need that furniture and unless he wants to be building it while trying to put a newborn down for a nap he better get a move on and build it.

 

[funinthesun]

It's good to know that I am not the only one in this position.

Last weekend we had a bunch of people over to our place and they wanted to see the baby's room and it didn't even look like a baby's room.

I have bought the majority of items on my own but I wanted to buy the expensive things like the pram, car seat and furniture with him. I figured that its our joint money so I should give him the opportunity to be involved in those purchases.

I think I will get things started with building the cot and change table and see if he will join in.

 

[theroselegacy]

Wow I can definitely relate to a lot of you! I am 34 weeks pregnant and realize time is running short to get everything prepared and the nursery ready. I have been asking my husband for weeks if we could pick up the crib we have stored at his parents....so far we have yet to get it. And I am worried about nagging him to put it together. Sometimes I wish I could just do these things myself but unfortunately assembling cribs is not my area of expertise

 

[jesswishing]

I agree with PP, the only way I get my OH moving is by attempting to do stuff myself. Maybe set aside a day where you tell him in advance that you will BOTH be setting up the baby's room, and then stand there and supervise. Men are so lazy sometimes, my husband would rather play xbox/watch wrestling than clean and the only way I get him to do stuff is by guilting him into it - but it gets done!

I only discovered Mothercare in a closing down sale at Loganholme in Brisbane - they had so many nice things but I thought 'I'll have plenty of time to get it' and now I can't find a nice nappy bag anywhere! Try emailing the store that you want your diaper bag from, they may ship it to you, or there is a service (I forget what it's called) where you get an item shipped to an address in the US and they forward it on (for a small fee). Might be worth investigating

 

[Whimsy82]

I have to say I agree with doing things yourself to get some help. We just moved and I had been asking him to move a few big, bulky things to the garage and he just kept putting it off. I waited until he left one day and did it myself. I got scolded for moving them, as they were kinda big, but I'm fine and now they're out of the way. He usually hops to when I ask him for help now.

As for the nursery. I planned a week ahead and said Saturday we're putting the furniture together. Which is what we did tonight. I ordered a pizza and we ate it in the nursery and I hung out with him to keep him company and be on hand if he needed it. That worked out pretty good. I know if I didn't set something in stone and try and make it a little fun, it wouldn't get done until I was practically due.

 

[babydevil1989]

I agree with doing stuff yourself! I do most of the building/buying myself as its just easier than waiting an eternity for him to do it! X

 

[Sweetkat]

We don't have a single thing for the baby apart from 4 little outfits, but we are moving house 4 weeks yesterday. I am hoping that once we have moved we can get everything quickly. If she arrives early she won't have a single thing to wear or anywhere to sleep!!

 

[funinthesun]

We don't have a single thing for the baby apart from 4 little outfits, but we are moving house 4 weeks yesterday. I am hoping that once we have moved we can get everything quickly. If she arrives early she won't have a single thing to wear or anywhere to sleep!!

Good luck with your move. Hopefully bubs will stay inside until the due date.

 

[greenlady]

Building furniture is something I do rathe than him, he hates it and doesn't read the instructions properly. I get so annoyed with him it's just easier doing it myself, even at 38 weeks pregnant! We are on baby no 2 and so haven't had a whole lot of buying to do but really he just leaves all that to me anyway. It is pretty frustrating that he doesn't take more of an interest though

 

[Katy Bug]

Lol, best put, most guys don't think or care about that stuff. They don't care what color bag you get or what the carseat or crib looks like. They also don't know that this stuff has to he done before you get on up there in case of baby coming early. I don't think most guys think ahead like that. Just bug him until he puts the crib together, that's what I had to do. And just do everything else yourself.

 

[george83]

My husband didn't do anything for our son, I was painting our nursery alone at 8 months pregnant, I did all the shopping mostly with my mum but if I'd of waited for him it would never have got done. I know it's not what anybody wants but if your oh wont help then just do it and make him feel bad

 

[maybebaby3]

In my experience men aren't really bothered about baby stuff. My DH couldn't care less!

 

[alicecooper]

ah we've done nothing. I'm 36 and a half weeks. I haven't even packed a hospital bag, or bought nursing bras, and all our baby stuff is just sitting in the attic. Not washed baby clothes or anything.

 

[Smudge101]

My o/h isn't bothered either. I've done all the shopping with my mum.

I just think that some men couldnt care less about whether the nursery is pained natural hessian or Egyptian cotton, or which shade of green matches best. It also means I get to choose everything I wanted!

I think that men get into denial about how soon things could actually happen. In my o/h's head we have 6 weeks left, which is plenty of time for him to decorate the nursery and arrange for the hall and spare room to be carpeted! He doesn't take into account that baby has its own agenda and could come at any time!

I'm not letting it stress me out, baby will be in with us for the first few months anyway so as much as I'd like the nursery to be set up before he/she arrives, it's not a big deal if it isn't.

 

[Noo]

DH just wants to know how much of his money I'm spending!

 

[Willow87]

Wow I'm so surprise at some of these responses! My hubby has been so fab with everything. He had a say in everything we bought. It took him ages to do the nursery but that's because he wanted everything to be perfect. He built everyyyyyyything. I never had to ask him twice. He was just always keen to do it. Thanks to this thread, I'm going to go hug my husband LOL.

I hope your men come around ladies!