Biting

[Diannam]

My 13 month old thinks biting is hilarious. The reaction he gets from his dad is reinforcing how much fun it is. I'll admit sometimes he gets a laugh out of me. I mostly try to remove and ignore or say no and remove. I'm afraid all this inconsistency is going to lead to biting becoming a real issue.

Any opinions of whether we need to tackle the issue now. Or if we can deal with it later if it remains an issue?

 

[SarahBear]

Biting isn't anything I've ever positively reinforced. I imagine it would be confusing to learn it as a positive way to interact only to later have to un-learn the behavior. That being said, it certainly is possible to do that.

 

[.Mrs.B.]

It's hard not to laugh sometimes. I cover my face if I'm laughing so they think I'm upset instead.

 

[SarahBear]

It's hard not to laugh sometimes. I cover my face if I'm laughing so they think I'm upset instead.

I don't remember this, but my mom says that when we were little, she would turn around to laugh silently and compose herself before she turned around with a stern expression and say "I was so angry I couldn't look at you." Or something along those lines...

 

[laura11111]

There is lots I would let slide, but I would nip this particular behaviour in the bud now just because it can be so dangerous (infection, etc). It's also the number one no-no in daycares and schools.

He is young, but yes, inconsistency will confuse him for sure.

A firm NO should suffice for now. Please don't bite him back. I can't believe how many people I've heard not only admit to biting their children, but actually brag about it.

 

[k4th]

My lo bit me last weekend - it was a really hard nip. I jumped out of my skin and shouted "ouch" - totally a knee-jerk reaction to it. He was absolutely terrified & hasn't done it since! It has left a huge bruise at the top of my arm.

I would definitely decide on a consistent response to help him understand that it's not ok. It can quickly become a bigger issue - what if he did it to another child at soft play or a play group? You'd probably feel terrible and in his defence, he really wouldn't know that it isn't ok at the moment.

 

[Diannam]

Thanks everyone. I am being consistent. I have started to turn away the odd time I laugh. I say no, separate him from me and have to repeat or distract. I am trying to get his dad to do the same. I know he doesn't enjoy getting bitten but his reaction is so loud and exciting. He doesn't seem to care to react the same as me. Thankfully he just bites me and his dad but I am worried it will be other people and we don't really enjoy it either.

 

[auntsas]

I too would work at stopping this! My son starting biting at about 18 months and we fought and fought it! He would bite other kids at day care for no apparent reason! Although his smile afterwards might be cute now it won't be in a couple years when he is still biting! I wish I would have been more aggressive when my son first started biting me, would have saved us both a lot of headache and tears