Bonding

[jenny873]

well my baby is 5 days old now and for the past few days since ive been home from hospital pretty much everytime she feeds, needs changing etc somebody else dives in and asks if they can do it (apart from night feeds)! i feel smothered by my mum she wont leave me alone and its really getting my down! is feeding the main way to bond with newborns? i sit and worry if she even knows im her mum lol, i know the novelty will ware off and gladly my mum is back at work tomorrow so hopefully i will be able to get some quality time with baby. did anybody else feel as though they should be doing something more for their baby because they just sleep, feed and poo lol x

 

[lauren-kate]

Yeah, at the beginning it is a bit 'sleep, feed, poo, sleep, feed, poo'. As they get older though, they stay awake longer and want to interact more. Once they start paying more attention to the world, looking around, smiling, cooing etc, it's a bit easier with the bonding I think. Don't worry, she will know that you're her mum. Once everyone's had a go at doing things, it'll all settle down and you'll get more of a chance to do everything (and will probably start wishing they'd help out a bit more lol). x

 

[coccyx]

Let them have a go, enjoy the 'rest'.!!!There will be plenty of feeds, nappies and cuddles required when they have gone home.

 

[kelly2903]

oh hun. if you feel like you dont want them to do everything just tell them. i no you may feel a bit harsh but she is your baby and you do need to do things for her your self. cause what happens when the novelty does wear off and your left by yourself. thinking oh s**t. i no im gonna get all this from my mum. but im just gonnahave to tell her. bath time is good bonding time. you prob wont beable to just yet(with bleeding) but you can take a bath together and bond. skin to skin is really good. big hug

 

[marley2580]

I agree, its your baby - you decide who 'gets a shot'. I have a very short list of people with whom I am comfortable holding Kaya and if someone asks to hold her I tell them no. It can be hard but sometimes it needs doing.

 

[freckleonear]

One evening shortly after Aaron was born, my parents were round visiting and Aaron was asleep in my dad's arms. I remember sitting in my armchair trying not to cry, because I wanted to cuddle him! How silly! So if you want to hold/feed/change your baby, just say so!

Perhaps your friends and family could help in more practical ways, like cooking a meal, doing the washing up or putting a load of washing on, whilst you are looking after baby? That way they still feel like they're helping, but you get to spend time with baby.

And of course she knows you are her mum, in a few weeks time she will show you by recognising you and being pleased when you are around.

 

[LilysMummy]

I know how you feel too. You can have my little miss if you like lol she just got through 3 nappies in 2mins lol she can poo my god!!

Enjoy the help you need and when it crosses the line just put your foot down.

xx

 

[anita665]

This is exactly the kind of thing I'm worried about with my mum.

Those first few days are so precious - I agree that you should just tell them that you're doing it!! They can do it when you ask for help but it's not fair to take that first few days from you. Everyone loves to get involved with a new baby but she's yours and it's up to you.

If you don't want to sound to harsh you could just insist by saying you don't mind doing it and just taking her and getting on with it so they don't have a chance to step in and "be helpful".