boyfriend and I had our first big fight and I'm coping horribly. what do I do?

[thecurlymama]

Yesterday night my boyfriend and I had our first big fight yet. We've barely fought at all for the 7 months we've been together, and this fight wasn't even because of anything either of us did ! Well, not exactly. He was fighting with his older sister and her fiance about dishes (they're newly housemates). When he came back to his room where I was with the dinner we'd just made together, he was completely silent and really pissed off. I didn't say anything, but I tried to hug him. He pushed me away and said "No. Seriously! No." It was devastating, despite knowing that he was already frustrated that just killed me. I turned around and sat around on his bed for a while not saying anything. Eventually I just decided to lay down on the other side of his bed. He turned the lights off and got angrily back into bed. We laid there for a while silently, but I was crying silently and it was killing me. I said "this is bullshit we can't go to sleep like this." He huffed and said to me "Well I'm not gonna talk and I'm not really tryna snuggle so I don't know what you want from me." This made me really upset... I just wanted him to say goodnight to me . I got frustrated and said "F*ck you! just f*ck you.. couldn't you have done this a couple hours ago so I could have just gone home." That really set him off. He grabbed a blanket and a pillow and marched downstairs to lay on the couch. I followed him down the stairs and begged him to come back to bed and promised not to talk or snuggle. He came up,but wasn't happy. I woke up in the middle of the night crying.... he held me and we both apologized. In the morning he was still really mad but wouldn't admit it so I just let it go.

He was supposed to spend the night at my house tonight, so we took the bus into town together but he went to spend the day at his mom's house which is across from my house.

Long story short he called me and asked me to meet him in town. He also said he wasn't staying the night which is the third time he's canceled on plans to stay at my house with me. He works on the weekdays and now that we live further away we don't get to see each other nearly as much as we used to and that alone is taking a toll on me (us). I was upset and told him I was, so he told me not to meet him and we got into a little argument over the phone then either he hung up or his phone died but I haven't talked to him since.
I feel really fucking horrible and can't stop crying... It's awful and I just get so scared that him and I won't last. I would do anything for him, I'm so completely in love and he's going to be such a fantastic dad... I just wish I knew how to make him feel better and I really don't know how.

I'm so sad and I hate leaving on bad terms with him.

I even bought candles and fudge bars for us tonight to make up for our fight but we just ended up having another. This is fucking awful... I cannot stop crying and just calling him even though his phone's off and I know he hates it when I do that. I'm awful at this.

 

[Court and bub]

The best thing to do is to give him space and let him get rid of all his anger and calm down even if it hurts you to be away from him ,
I was with my baby's dad for two years and we had fights like this a bit and it just made it worse seing him when he was still angry and hadn't cooled off yet because it just starts more fights and it ends up just going on and on ,
I would call of text your boyfriend once apologizing or explaining how you feel and that you love him and miss him always say that ! , and just wait for him to respond to you because when he responds to you he will be calm and won't be pissed off that you are calling him and texting him 24 7

 

[MiSS.M0MMY2BE]

Yesterday night my boyfriend and I had our first big fight yet. We've barely fought at all for the 7 months we've been together, and this fight wasn't even because of anything either of us did ! Well, not exactly. He was fighting with his older sister and her fiance about dishes (they're newly housemates). When he came back to his room where I was with the dinner we'd just made together, he was completely silent and really pissed off. I didn't say anything, but I tried to hug him. He pushed me away and said "No. Seriously! No." It was devastating, despite knowing that he was already frustrated that just killed me. I turned around and sat around on his bed for a while not saying anything. Eventually I just decided to lay down on the other side of his bed. He turned the lights off and got angrily back into bed. We laid there for a while silently, but I was crying silently and it was killing me. I said "this is bullshit we can't go to sleep like this." He huffed and said to me "Well I'm not gonna talk and I'm not really tryna snuggle so I don't know what you want from me." This made me really upset... I just wanted him to say goodnight to me . I got frustrated and said "F*ck you! just f*ck you.. couldn't you have done this a couple hours ago so I could have just gone home." That really set him off. He grabbed a blanket and a pillow and marched downstairs to lay on the couch. I followed him down the stairs and begged him to come back to bed and promised not to talk or snuggle. He came up,but wasn't happy. I woke up in the middle of the night crying.... he held me and we both apologized. In the morning he was still really mad but wouldn't admit it so I just let it go.

He was supposed to spend the night at my house tonight, so we took the bus into town together but he went to spend the day at his mom's house which is across from my house.

Long story short he called me and asked me to meet him in town. He also said he wasn't staying the night which is the third time he's canceled on plans to stay at my house with me. He works on the weekdays and now that we live further away we don't get to see each other nearly as much as we used to and that alone is taking a toll on me (us). I was upset and told him I was, so he told me not to meet him and we got into a little argument over the phone then either he hung up or his phone died but I haven't talked to him since.
I feel really fucking horrible and can't stop crying... It's awful and I just get so scared that him and I won't last. I would do anything for him, I'm so completely in love and he's going to be such a fantastic dad... I just wish I knew how to make him feel better and I really don't know how.

I'm so sad and I hate leaving on bad terms with him.

I even bought candles and fudge bars for us tonight to make up for our fight but we just ended up having another. This is fucking awful... I cannot stop crying and just calling him even though his phone's off and I know he hates it when I do that. I'm awful at this.

Oh, sweetie. Everyone fights. Just give him his time to calm down, and get over whatever he's mad about. And he will come to you. You both seem to be in love and if that's the case a silly little fight won't be the end of you. Good luck hun. It'll all be okay.

 

[lizmageeful]

Aww emma, dont cry. To be honest, i think the fact that this is your first major fight in 7 months is a very good thing. Its gonna be ok. You're emotional, and hes probably stressed out, and its all gonna blow over. It sounds like y'all love each other a lot, and fights happen. Its part of moving forward.

 

[jozylynn896]

Emma the best thing to do is also the hardest to do.
Stop trying to talk to him. Stop begging him. Just let him get over it, miss you a little. He'll call you eventually. And when he does just speak to him like nothing just happened.
I know, its so fucking hard to do, trust me I know!
Guys don't want a girl whose gonna beg and cry they want one thats gonna say fuck you!
I don't know why, but they do though.
Because guys are douches. But trust me dude, he just probably needs time to cool off. And if he apologizes, then continues, then maybe somethings going on with him thats really bothering him or something.