boyfriend kicks me out a week before due date

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It sounds like the reality of being a father has set in and he's freaking out and trying to get out of it because he's scared. That's just awful that he would do that to you and LO. Saying he just can't do this and that he wants his life back is a lame excuse. How selfish can he be! And furthermore, saying he doesn't even know if the baby is his is just grasping at straws! He's just going to walk out on his responsibility as a boyfriend and a father. How can he live with himself knowing he's turning his back on you and his child, and at the very last minute? So what, he's just gonna go on with his life and act like none of this ever happened?! Is he a sociopath?! He's okay with never meeting his child? Never being there as a father? He's just gonna walk out and move on with his life?!

That is just horrible of him. I am sorry you're going through this, and with your due date only being a week away, this kind of stress is the last thing you need. I wish I could offer some helpful advice. If he really has no problem abandoning you at the drop of a hat, then I suppose it's better you find out now rather than later. Sure didn't take much to find out what he was made of. :hugs:
 
An unmarried father can only get legal responsibility for his child in 1 of 3 ways:

jointly registering the birth of the child with the mother (from 1 December 2003)
getting a parental responsibility agreement with the mother
getting a parental responsibility order from a court
Click to expand...

A man registered on the birth certificate as the father of the child has no right to insist that the child is given a particular name, for example, his surname.
Click to expand...

(info from CAB and gov.uk)

IOW: Put him on the birth certificate. Register the birth yourself. Call the child whatever you like, he has NO input on it whatsoever. This gives you more protection without worrying if it means he might get rights or custody he doesn't deserve. Parental rights are not automatic with being on the birth certificate in England.

/hugs, what a shitty thing to do. Get on your local council and Housing Association lists ASAP hun, and best of luck for you and your babies.
 
i saw him last night and we had a chat.

hes really not well... the stress is so obvious its really sad :'(
he says he loves me and wants to be together but he needs space before he explodes.
i feel loads better for seeing him and were going to keep in contact.
he still cant deal with the baby so ill still be doing that without him..

i hope for everyones sake he gets better soon :(
 
Whilst I can understand that he maybe finding the situation stressful, his actions are still disgusting! He is a grown man.... its not like you can just run away and hide when things get stressful for you too!

Kicking you out pregnant and with 2 children is inexcusable imo.

Im glad you feel better though, hope you get some housing news on Monday. Is he going to be helping you get things to furnish it with?
 
I agree with the above poster..

Not being well is no excuse for kicking you and your two kids out when you could go into labour anytime aswell! My oh is stressed and scared but he wouldn't do something as immature as this..

I def would not be having his name on the birth certificate for the simple fact of if you do, then he has rights. (Well here in aus he would)

Hope things look up for you soon!! Xx
 
oh my gosh hun what a complete twat!!

He is a disgusting excuse of a man! Ill or not... there is no excuse for what he has done! Please Please do not go running back to him just because hes had a cry and said he loves you! If he can kick you out at 39 weeks pregnant with 2 children.. then he will do it again the next time hes "going to pop".

What a bloody rat, If it were me i wouldn't allow him to be anywhere near me or my children.. your children and you dont need someone like that in your life!!

And i agree with others register baby without him! whats to say hes not going to have another flip out one day chuck you out and decide he wants to keep the baby..... especially if you think his mother is the cause of all this.

Sending you and your children lots of love and hugs xxxxxxxx
 
:( i defo wont be running back to him, its better if i have my own place anyways.

still not 100% about the birth certificate though...

i dont know about getting the place furnished. ive been told by someone that this place has furniture in it, just not sure how much!
 
You can apply for a loan through the job centre hun! Or you may be entitled to a community care grant which you dont have to pay back.

are you going to be/already claiming a benefit with having the children to look after? with the budgeting loan you can get upto about £1.000 but it has to be paid back. I cant remember what a community care grant is worth though hun.

xxx
 
i am glad u will be getting your own place and i am so sorry that this has happened to u but please do not let him use the excuse that he is not well and stressed, what about u and ur two kids and unborn baby does he not think u are all stressed, how dare he, do not listen to his cr*p. shame on him!! feeling sorry for himself!!! i wish u all the best but u and ur kids deserve so much more
 
read thru from the beginning... what an absolute disgrace this man is! and now he is playing the sob story card? shame on him! he needs to grow a pair and grow the hell up! people like him need to be brought down a peg or two! Id say stay the hell away from him, u sound like u have ur head screwed on:) my sad excuse of a partner bottled it and left me for another women when i was 7 weeks pregnant.... i have no sympathy or anything for cowards like that. once u got that baby u wont give a hoot about him. all the best:) xxx
 
sethsmummy said:
You can apply for a loan through the job centre hun! Or you may be entitled to a community care grant which you dont have to pay back.

are you going to be/already claiming a benefit with having the children to look after? with the budgeting loan you can get upto about £1.000 but it has to be paid back. I cant remember what a community care grant is worth though hun.

xxx
Click to expand...

You need to be on benefit for 26 weeks for a budgeting loan so try for a community care grant.

Where are you? I work in a jobcentre so pm me if you need any advice and I can try and get you local help too if you need it.
 
Btw don't put him on birth cert. you'll need either his consent or a court order anyway if he doesn't go with you.

https://www.adviceguide.org.uk/scot...g_your_name_s/birth_certificates_scotland.htm
 
Wait, that link was Scotland. Here's the England one :)

https://www.adviceguide.org.uk/engl...d_changing_your_name_e/birth_certificates.htm
 
thanks everyone :(
ive been moved into a holiday inn for a week... someone else took the temporary place.

things havent gotten worse between me and the ex now. hes told his solicitor, i was emotionally abusive to him! wtf! and he said i shout at him. i NEVER shout. its not part of my personality.
he says one thing to my face and another to his solicitor.

what a waste of space. i feel sorry for whoever ends up with him next. his daughter will be so ashamed of him.
 
omg from now on document any contact you have with him and have someone with you if u meet up with him so you have witness to what actually happens. he is being pathetic and doesnt need any understanding or sympathy if he is going to play those games. i hope you can get a place soon
 
velirya said:
thanks everyone :(
ive been moved into a holiday inn for a week... someone else took the temporary place.

things havent gotten worse between me and the ex now. hes told his solicitor, i was emotionally abusive to him! wtf! and he said i shout at him. i NEVER shout. its not part of my personality.
he says one thing to my face and another to his solicitor.

what a waste of space. i feel sorry for whoever ends up with him next. his daughter will be so ashamed of him.
Click to expand...

Even more reason NOT to put him on the birth cert!! DO NOT DO IT!! if hes displaying this trait and the baby isnt here yet I bet he would say more to get the baby away from you.

Look at this as an experience NOT to be repeated focus on your children and yourself and hold your head high you are young and I am sure very beautiful so please prioritise yourself and children now and forget this man he clearly dosnt care about you or your children.
 
OMG! There's a shock! A 9 month pregnant women shouts at her waste of space OH when he turfs her out and leave her homeless within days of their baby arriving??

The solicitor probably looked at him like the scum of the earth he is and he had to start making up stories to save face. What a prick!!

He doesn't deserve you, your kids OR your baby.

Thinking of you huni
 
Every one is right Hun, you are so much better off without him and hopefully you'll have a nice place of your own soon for you and your kids, my fob told me over and over he wanted me to have his baby, then once it didn't suit him anymore blanked me completely, when I confronted him he said he told me those things because he was ill , he has bipolar, but that is no excuse IMO , these sad men are looking for reasons to justify their disgusting behaviour, they can't even be called MEN, keep your chin up Hun, things will get better and you'll soon have another beautiful baby :flower:
 
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