Boyfriend searched Tinder app

[DJMooMoo79]

For some of you who don't know, Tinder is a dating app.

He pulled up his App Store in front of me, and there it was. Tried to pull it off saying that it just showed up will he was looking for another app. And I brilliantly pointed out his search bar where "tinder" was written in. He was caught. The only other thing he could do was apologies and say he was just curious about it and didn't plan on using it. Curious about what? Dating other people when were having a child?

I don't know what to do, I feel so shocked and just overall terrible about myself.

Our sex life is amazing, daily sometimes two to three times a day. I do everything I can for him. I compliment his appearance and personality every chance I get. I just don't get it. What am I doing wrong? Porn would be one thing, he's horny. But a dating website?

I can't explain this feeling of just overall depression. I don't know what to do. How to react. And all I want to do is drink but for obvious reasons I can't.

 

[MamaLa]

Men are JERKS. As much as I love my OH. He can be a ass. I really feel like men, and their egos cause them to get in trouble.

I'm no way excusing his actions, but maybe he's feeling like he needs his ego stroked. Not saying that you don't but men and women alike enjoy compliments from the other sex no matter our relationship status. But he needs to cut it out! He totally crossed the line

 

[Laylagirl]

::

 

[Mushymilkfor2]

I'm married, just recently heard about tinder I've looked it up out of general curiosity. I wasn't looking for anything and didn't download it. Just curious what and how it worked.

 

[Laylagirl]

You know what you should do? Cuz I just looked up that app! Download it! If he's on there, you should see him cuz it says if finds people in your area...do it...maybe he just downloaded to see how it works...just to look..how old is he?

 

[AP]

To be honest if he's actively using it , it would be on his phone, downloaded. I didn't know what Tinder was either til i saw it in the charts, otherwise I would have searched it our of curiosity.

 

[Tigerlilyb]

I'm married, just recently heard about tinder I've looked it up out of general curiosity. I wasn't looking for anything and didn't download it. Just curious what and how it worked.

I did the same, I thought it was a general chat thing like chatroulette or something til I looked it up. Maybe he's telling the truth and it was genuine curiosity?

 

[MummyToAmberx]

I'm married, just recently heard about tinder I've looked it up out of general curiosity. I wasn't looking for anything and didn't download it. Just curious what and how it worked.

I did the same, I thought it was a general chat thing like chatroulette or something til I looked it up. Maybe he's telling the truth and it was genuine curiosity?

^Agree. I look at all sorts on android.

 

[Brightxeyes]

The once I saw a friend post a status on Facebook saying how they've seen so many of their 'in a relationship' friends on tinder.

Out if curiosity I signed up and had a look to see (I think it found my Facebook friends). I never used it obviously I got curious as to see who I knew was on there.
Sometimes it is curiosity but yeah sign up yourself and see if he has an account on there.

And sometimes guys are idiots and love the attention whether they have intention of acting upon anything or not.

Tell him it hurt you. And ask like if he's unhappy in the relationship in anyway. See if there's anything that's bothering him?

 

[Nanninoo]

He prob was just curious with what it was all about ect...but now he knows he's been caught 'browsing' i don't think he will do it again! I've caught my oh browsing though girls profiles on facebook and I wasn't happy but he said he was only looking and as they saying goes "you can look but you can't touch" I don't see any harm in it as long as it's nothing more....He has now deleted his facebook account as he realised it upset me....men sometimes don't think before the do something and don't realise the worry it can cause even if they think there not doing anything wrong! I agree with others it might of just been curiosity

 

[RcdM]

I have to tend to agree with everyone else. It sounds like you guys have a great relationship. But sometimes when guys are just at home and bored or something they'll just look. For no reason other than they just want to see what's out there, they have no intention of reaching out to anyone or anything like that. Just to see for fun I guess.

Now if I was in your shoes, I'd be upset too, and I'd expect that my DH have a good honest explanation for why he had it. But my DH is very open, we don't hide phones or act like we have anything to keep from each other, so I don't ever really worry about things like that too much. I trust him 100% so if he was to do something like that and then explained that he was just bored and wanted to look at the app for fun, I'd believe him and it wouldn't be a big deal. But I would also probably ask that he delete it and not look at dating apps even if just for fun out of respect for me and our relationship. It's kind of rude that he lied initially though about it just popping up. I'd have a talk to him about honesty over petty things because then it makes it seem like a bigger deal and he really does have something to hide.

 

[AMB1216]

Maybe someone was talking about it and he looked to see what it was. Do you know if he downloaded it? You can check if you ever had his phone....not that I'm condoning it but if you're really curious about it you can. If you go to the app store, updates, purchased and not on this phone, it'll show you everything he's downloaded. You could also look for him on the site, its possible he didn't realize it was a dating site. Like theres a site that was called myyearbook and I have had it for ever and its been changed to Meetme. which i guess is still a social networking site but most people use if for dating. I never use it but one of my husbands buddies saw me on there and told him. He's known I've had it and he knows its nothing more than an old profile.

 

[Dobsd]

A lot of my friends use Tinder and from what I can gather it won't let you see people you are friends with on Facebook, so there's no point downloading it to see if he's on there.
Best case scenario - he really was just curious about it and hasn't actually downloaded or used it.

Worst case scenario - he has downloaded it and used it. You need to ask yourself whether you think he would actively seek out another woman. Has he done anything like that in the past? If the answer is no, maybe just ask him if there's a problem and see if you can talk it out. If the answer is yes - give him a clip round the ear and remind him of the child you're currently spending 24/7 growing for him!

Hopefully it's the first and he was just curious

 

[Luvspnk31]

My question is, if he was just curious, why did he lie about it?

 

[Rickles]

My question is, if he was just curious, why did he lie about it?

I think men panic - he probably knew it looked bad and didn't want to upset OP. OP if he didn't download it and isn't actively using it I would put it down to curiosity and I don't think I'd worry. xx

 

[AP]

^ agreed

 

[lj2245]

Tinder has been in the news recently because one of the co-founders was sacked and is claiming sexual harrassment. I hadn't heard of the app before reading the newspaper and was actually meaning to google it to find out what it was, but forgot. Could it be that your OH just read about it and decided to look at it?

I guess it would only matter to me if he had actually downloaded it. You can search without downloading. If he has an iphone there should be a bit in the app centre that allows you to see apps that have been purchased (even free ones) but aren't on the device. If someone downloads an app and then deletes it, it's still in that part of the app store. I think you can find it by going through the updates menu then clicking on 'not on this device'. Not sure if there's something similar on other types of phones.