"Breaking up" with a friend

[Babushka]

I feel like a right cow for doing this but there is a friend who I don't wish to catch up with anymore. We used to work together & have never been close but we would see each other maybe every few months with the exception of a few years back where we would go to the cinema regularly.

Unfortunately she has a mental health problem & has been committed a few times now as she doesn't take her meds properly. While I would never discriminate against anybody for having these problems, I am now a mum & aren't comfortable having people around my child who are not controlling their problems.

From the time I had my daughter 7 weeks ago she has sent me so many text messages to catch up and inviting me to things. I've told her that I am busy being a new mum & can't take my newborn daughter out & we will catch up with her when were ready. Yet the text messages keep coming & now she's posting on my Fb wall & sending me emails arggggh. I just don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone got any advice on how to handle this please?

 

[Mummy May]

Couldn't you still meet up with her? I mean you don't have to leave you child alone with her but it sounds like this girl needs and wants you as a friend. Xx

 

[MamaE]

It's a sad situation to lose a friend no matter the circumstances. I understand why you wouldn't want her around, and it stinks that you have to make a decision like this. Quite frankly, if you are hell bent on getting rid of this girl, you have to continue to say "no" and "I'm busy." Eventually she'll get the hint. Stop picking up calls, answering txts. It's like breaking up with a clingy boyfriend. Same thing, but hurts a little more to do

 

[sparkle_1979]

I went though this once, this one girl would call me, text me constantly. It was too much I felt suffocated and she wouldn't take hints. When she made a video about missing me and posted it on my fb page it was the last straw....( I was mortified ) I just changed my number, blocked her on fb.... Lucky I don't see her as we are in different towns....it's uncomfortable but once its done you will feel better x

 

[Mummy May]

I went though this once, this one girl would call me, text me constantly. It was too much I felt suffocated and she wouldn't take hints. When she made a video about missing me and posted it on my fb page it was the last straw....( I was mortified ) I just changed my number, blocked her on fb.... Lucky I don't see her as we are in different towns....it's uncomfortable but once its done you will feel better x

Oh my lord! Someone actually did that? I can't help but laugh but that must have been awful. Xx

 

[sparkle_1979]

Lol I can laugh now but at the time I was so embarrassed she had done that on my fb..... It looked like we had been a couple or something

I had so many mates commenting on it. I couldn't believe she had done it and trust it had to be one of them times when I wasn't checking my fb often so it was on for a few days before I deleted it. It was a bit like having a stalker

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

Slightly different situation but I had to "break up" with a friend who was set to be my bridesmaid 2 months before our wedding.

She was such a jealous and insecure person to the point where she once told me off for putting photos on Facebook of a trip I made to the park with my DD and another mutual friend. I tried the ignoring and avoiding route but then I would get constant messages asking why I was ignoring her and eventually I had to just tell her that it felt more like a dictatorship than a friendship. It was really hard and for a while akward because I'd still bump into her from time to time. I still feel awful for what I did but I'm so much happier that I did it!

 

[seoj]

If she is not handling her issues- and you are not happy being her friend, for whatever reason. TBH- I think you just need to be upfront with her. It's HARD- I know... I had to do this with a friend (who I used to be really close with) after my LO was born- long story- but she just wasn't someone I wanted in my life anymore- for many old and new reasons. I finally just confronted her about some stuff- she lied- we messaged a few times... and I finally just told her I needed my space. She was in contact a couple times since (for reason)- but otherwise we do not communicate. It's not like I have any ill will towards her- we just grew apart.

Again- I know it's hard... but I think by ignoring her you could maybe make it worse. No one likes to feel fluffed off- I would honestly be very hurt if someone did that to me. Yes, it hurts to hear the truth- but, in any relationship, I would think that is better than being ignored. Just my two cents though. Not like you have to be harsh or tell her you can't handle her illness- you could keep it simple and just say that you feel like your on different pages in life- and that you wish her the best of luck, but that you just need to focus on your family and LO. IDK- no great words-- but something would be better than nothing.

Best of luck!

 

[EmziixBo0o]

My mother has mental health issues, she stops taking her meds when she feels she's stable and doesn't need them anymore, it's something that triggers in her head to make her feel that way, she gets ill then with help and support from family and friends she gets better. Doesn't mean she's unstable and cant control her problem, she will never be better no matter how many meds my mum takes. she can't help being poorly, They need the meds to be able to do "normal" day to day things. I think you should meet up with her tbh if you don't feel comfortable with taking your LO then don't, but I'd hear her out maybe she needs a friend.

 

[babycrazy1706]

^ wss